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Post by nutcase17133 on May 3, 2009 20:42:04 GMT -5
Smiling widely, Nutcase said, "I'm human actually but through magic training and lessons from legendary Toon Superstar, Bugs Bunny himself, I mastered all sorts of Toon gags!"
Staring out from behind the wall, Nutcase said, "And I have just the thing, Beatrice! You'll love this little number!"
In a flash, Nutcase appeared in the middle of the library. He had impossibly managed to pull a huge pipe organ out of his pocket.
"Do you have any requests, Stewie? Dance of the Comedians? Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2? Or my personal favorite, THE MERRY-GO-ROUND BROKE DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Nutcase began playing a goofy song on the organ, then proceeded to sing along.
Nutcase is my name!
I worked on a merry-go-round!
The Job was swell,
it paid quite well,
until the Merry-go-round broke down!!!
Some of the pipes on the organ shot out a couple of anvils, and they crashed around Stewie along with the beat of the song. Beatice was enjoying the show immensely.
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Post by pieandchips on May 3, 2009 20:57:23 GMT -5
"Oh yeah? If that's the way you want to play..." said Stewie, dodging the anvils. He ran up to Red Mage and Fighter and grabbed their guitar and bass and started wielding them like large clubs. "Hey! We were using those!" shouted Fighter. "How the fuck are you even holding one in each hand? You're a baby!" added Thief. "I'm a cartoon character, deal with it!" replied Stewie as he bolted forward at Nutcase, swinging the instruments wildly.
However, he stopped, jumped and landed on the organ's keys. "Do you have any requests? I'm feeling like a little Metallica myself!" He started beating on Nutcase's head with the instruments to the tune of Battery. "LASHING OUT THE ACTION, RETURNING NO REACTION, WEAK AND RIPPED ARE TORN AWAY!" he shouted while hitting him. Of course, being a cartoon character, and at that, one of the zanier cartoon characters, Nutcase was bound to survive.
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Post by Firebreath Fishslap on May 3, 2009 21:00:55 GMT -5
"Oh, fuck this." Beatrice sighed and tugged the bass out of Stewie's hand. "Heaven or Hell, Let's Rock, bitch." She then batted the baby with the bass.
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Post by pieandchips on May 3, 2009 21:02:35 GMT -5
"OW!!!!!" he cried. "MOMMY!" Out of nowhere he started sobbing like a real baby would.
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Post by nutcase17133 on May 3, 2009 21:13:26 GMT -5
Nutcase put the pipe organ away and picked Stewie up by his overall straps and said, "Ok kid, stop cryin' and start talkin'! Where's the League of Evil? Beatrice has something to say to those clods. And believe me,as nasty as my own temper is you don't wanna get on her bad side! It's an apololypse waitin' to happen!"
Nutcase turns to Beatrice and says, "No offense, mind you."
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Post by Firebreath Fishslap on May 3, 2009 21:20:27 GMT -5
"None taken." Beatrice shrugged. "Okay, listen kid, all we need is info on where this Starman guy is. Tell us, and we'll let you go, and if you don't tell us what we wanna know, well, there's a big field about five kilos from here where we can finish this battle."
"And if you don't know anything, then well, fuck."
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Post by pieandchips on May 3, 2009 21:37:36 GMT -5
"NEVER!" shouted Stewie, pulling out an AK-47 and firing wildly at the two. "Heh heh heh, the crying bit gets them every time"
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Post by nutcase17133 on May 3, 2009 21:42:06 GMT -5
Beatrice was able to get away in time but Nutcase was caught by the bullets. Suprisingly he was still standing. There wasn't any blood either. But he was punched full of holes like a human block of swiss cheese.
Nutcase looked at himself, then back at Stewie and said, "Now that was unnessesary."
Nutcase took out his paintbrush and painted the holes over with new flesh. In the end he looked as if he was never shot at all.
"Now let's do this again, kid. Where. Is. STAR MAN?"
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Post by pieandchips on May 3, 2009 22:22:04 GMT -5
"How the fuck are you still alive?!" shouted Stewie, replacing the cartridge in his gun.
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Post by nutcase17133 on May 3, 2009 23:02:36 GMT -5
Stewie tried to fire, but Ntcase had plugged the hole with his finger, causing the bullett to bounce back and blow the gun up in Stewie's face.
"I'm asking the questions, smart guy!" Nutcase said angrily to the deranged toddler. "Now talk before I do the cruelest form of punishment that the law will allow!"
Nutcase pulled out a movie projector and a movie screen, as welll as a chair with leather bindings on the arms and legs. Stewie raised an eyebrow in confusion.
Nutcase then sat Stewie down and strapped him to the chair. "If you don't talk, I'll force you to watch the worst movies ever made!"
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Post by pieandchips on May 3, 2009 23:08:26 GMT -5
"This isn't bloody Clockwork Orange! Untie me now!" demanded Stewie
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Post by nutcase17133 on May 3, 2009 23:24:58 GMT -5
"No." Nutcase replied simply as he put a movie reel into the projector.
"Now tell me if you have seen Star Man, or else I shall begin your torture with a Roger Corman pain parade, starting with his 1960s flop of a sci-fi production number, Night of the Blood Beast!"
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Post by Firebreath Fishslap on May 4, 2009 5:23:45 GMT -5
"Fuck, man, that's just wrong." Beatrice grimaced and turned away.
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Post by nutcase17133 on May 4, 2009 9:57:20 GMT -5
"No one said being a hero was easy, Beatrice. And I am insane, so I gotta do this. It's in my character's profile." Nutcase breaks the 4th wall by showing her his Dimensional Clash profile, much to the suprise of her and Stewie.
"Now, do you feel like talking or do we begin the movie? And just so you know, this is not the MST3K version either, so you wont be able to enjoy any of the wisecracks thrown at the movie! Now where is Star Man?!"
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Post by gantzgun74 on May 4, 2009 13:18:56 GMT -5
A light soprano, yet inhuman giggle filled the library.
[shadow=red,left,300]"Why ask the little baby mortal a question he obviously doesn't know the answer to?"[/shadow]
Beatrice and Nutcase quickly turned to see a rather strange fellow sitting at a nearby table, indulging himself on what appeared to be a aerobics magazine, holding it between two giant lobster claws the size of basketballs. The creature was lobster-red and wore rather flamboyant clothing. The creature turned to the two, before he continued to read, lounging on the chair and looking rather relaxed.
[shadow=red,left,300]"If your looking for the League of Evil, I believe they've already left."[/shadow] He pointed a claw at Stewie, snickering. [shadow=red,left,300]"They merely left him behind because they STILL feel that he is no real evil threat, and merely an annoyance."[/shadow] He sighed as he lounged, and placed the magazine down. [shadow=red,left,300]"If you want a TRUE evil, look no further then little old me!"[/shadow] He giggled to himself, further creeping out the rooms occupants.
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