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Post by ParamountKeymaster on Apr 20, 2019 11:02:37 GMT -5
Rolf's crooked unibrow was evidence enough that he was taken aback by the offer, confused as to why Liderc was making it and what he expected out of it. "Please, tell Rolf, feathered fellow. Why does this brother you speak of seek you with such ferocity like Nano during plowing season?"
"Well, you know how it is with family, right?" Mic nervously blurted, trying desperately to diffuse the tension.
"Ho ho ho!" Seemed like the smaller angel's response satisfied the son of a shepherd. "Yes, indeed! Rolf's family gatherings often end in a fracas as well! You amuse Rolf! Come, join in Rolf's lunchtime leisure! Two is company but three is a rumpus, no?"
"Sounds good to me!" Mic chimed enthusiastically, plopping into the seat next to Rolf and offering a handshake. "The name's Micrathene Xiuhtecuhtli! You can call me Mic!"
Rather than taking the angel's hand, Rolf gave him a hardy slap on the back that knock every cubed inch of air out of Mic's lungs. "Rolf greets you with great pleasure, corncob Mic-boy!"
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Post by DanteMGalileo on Apr 20, 2019 12:09:42 GMT -5
"... Corncob Mic-boy?" Then again, Liderc tended to refer to humans by similar terms. He supposed maybe humans would have to have at least one member that did the same. Oh well, let's not piss off this human, shall we? Let's put up with the disgusting smell of edible flesh as a means to perhaps find a way to get protection from your lunatic brother.
He took a seat next to Mic, making an awkward smile at the Rolf human's alternative to a frondshake. Ow. His probably-inbred-on-the-paternal-side rump cushion probably wouldn't take that so well. "I, uh, my name's Keruv Liderc Shamash Serapis. Liderc Shamash is the actual name, the rest is just titles." A pause. "And if you're going to greet me like that, please, not so hard, I likely have a high inbreeding coefficient on my father's side and a weak constitution in this state."
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Post by ParamountKeymaster on Apr 23, 2019 17:53:55 GMT -5
"A weak constitution leads to sour goat milk, Liderc-boy" Rolf replied, his smile still genuine and his voice warm as if he were offering paternal advice, whatever the heck it was supposed to mean.
Mic smiled at this statement, then immediately stared off into the distance with a recognizable "I don't get it" look. With a quick shake of his head, he turned back to their new acquaintance and decided to take advantage of the situation they had found themselves in. "So Rolf! Where are you from?"
"Rolf hails from the Old Country!" Rolf responded, waving his arm as if gesturing to some faraway land more than likely in another dimension. "Though Rolf has since made his home in the modern go-go cul-de-sac of Peach Creek. A fine land, yes, with many friends and jovial delights, as well as a fair share of rabble-rousers. Ah, Rolf wishes he could convey to his fellow cul-de-sac castaways that all is well in this shiny new world," he sighed before somberly biting into his sandwich.
"Oh gee..." Mic choked up sympathetically. "How did you wind up here?"
"Rolf was assisting in the search for the missing brick-for-brain Ed-boy when KASMERSH! He takes one wrong step into the light and winds up in this forest of hoo-ha! Rolf has been here for many fortnights now, though Rolf remains oblivious as to the nature of his destination."
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Post by DanteMGalileo on Apr 23, 2019 20:38:50 GMT -5
Liderc is also incredibly weirded out when people talk in third person.
"... I'm guessing this, uh, brick-for-brain whatever a brain is Ed-boy human isn't exactly the sharpest bladed battle tool in the weapon distributor building?" Let's pretend this is interesting. Let's pretend that you actually care about whatever this Rolf human is talking about. "Still, it's nice to see someone using the word 'fortnight' correctly here, and not in reference to... something else."
Still, something about this seemed vaguely familiar. Maybe an animated picture he saw as a fledgling? Oh well. "Anyways. What does this Ed-boy human even look like?"
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Post by ParamountKeymaster on Apr 25, 2019 12:30:54 GMT -5
"The Ed-boy?" Rolf hummed. "Yes, he is Rolf's size, with one eyebrow and the skin color of your smaller acquaintance, lacking a lower jaw, wearing a green jacket with the smell of the trough food spoils on a humid day."
"Hmm..." Mic tapped his chin, mentally checking off the list Rolf had provided to see if he could match them to any familiar faces. "I can't say I've seen anyone with quite that description. Well, maybe one person, but his skin tone isn't a match."
"Oh well!" Rolf intoned with a nonchalant shrug. "If the Ed-boys possess one talent, it's making their presence known. Still, if you encounter the dimwit one, please enlighten Rolf. Thank you!" And there went the rest of his sandwich down the hatch...
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Post by DanteMGalileo on Apr 25, 2019 13:25:34 GMT -5
That sounds, uh... deformed.
"I feel like I know several people that fit that description, minus the lower jaw part dude is your mouth okay from that?" Liderc nodded. Helping! He's helping! Very helpful! "Of course, and this is probably obvious, but this smells-like-mouldy-food-spoils Ed-boy is likely a human, no?"
Okay, I need to find a way to stay close to this Rolf human. Even if just for a day. I wonder if he has something like the Metropolitan Area Do-Gooders.
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Post by ParamountKeymaster on Apr 25, 2019 14:08:29 GMT -5
"Yes. The man is the dominant animal where Rolf comes from, and the Ed-boy is such an animal," Rolf answered, bundling up his picnic linen and stuffing it in his pocket. "Tell Rolf, what people do you fellows belong to?"
"Oh, we're angels!" Mic answered happily.
"Angels, you say? Rolf is familiar with the tales of your kind."
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Post by DanteMGalileo on Apr 25, 2019 14:28:48 GMT -5
"Yes, angels. I have a feeling that your world's definition of angel is off from what we are. Stop me if this sounds familiar to you." Liderc coughed slightly to clear his throat. "We come from a galaxy far from your's. Our society's been around so long, our planet's resources have dwindled, forcing us to turn to conquest and the occasional bit of diplomacy to survive."
Okay, maybe that sounded morbid to an outsider. "We have more in common with those chickens that I hear you raise and, dare I say, consume, despite looking like you with wings. I am a Prasino, the green-blooded nobility, and let me tell you it doesn't do much for your constitution..." Let's discount the inbreeding, shall we? "Mic is a Plasmis, the yellow-blooded middle class. We're supposed to have several powers, both related to our species and unique to us, but..." Flap, flap. Yep, wings still aren't going to be useful for more than gliding or slowing his fall.
"... Not like we're all doom and gloom, though. Back in our biggest city, we have the Metropolitan Area Do-Gooders." Ah, memories. "They're a way to help the fledglings forget all the troubles of life. Have a distinctive salute..." Liderc placed his hand on his forehead, forming an L shape. "Can't miss them."
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Post by ParamountKeymaster on May 11, 2019 10:43:28 GMT -5
At Liderc's brief description of the angels' way of life, Rolf narrowed his eyes and folded his arms. "Rolf disfavors conquest. It is the way of Rolf's people to provide for ourselves, for without honor, the turnips grow for no man."
Mic blinked, staring vacantly into the middle distance. He... thought he understood what that meant. Maybe. Whatever it was that Rolf was implying, Mic felt inclined to steer the conversation away from it. Liderc's explanation of their caste system seemed like a good avenue. "Yeah, normally we both have fire powers! But those have been kinda funky today."
"Perhaps Rolf should count his buns for this flim-flammery, yes?" the son of a shepherd joked lightheartedly, clearly not trying to insult Mic with the tease.
"Heh! Yeah, maybe!" Mic laughed back, clearly not offended either way. Hearing Liderc try his hand at redirecting the conversation to something lighter further elevated his mood, not to mention the chosen subject matter. "Oh yeah! I was a Do-Gooder when I was a fledgling! Did I ever mention that?!"
"Metropolitan Area Do-Gooders?" Rolf repeated with a raised brow, directing his confused glance at Liderc's hand. "Why does your flock copy the customary salute of the Urban Rangers?"
"YOU HAVE METROPOLITAN DO-GOODERS TOO?!" Excitement from the peanut gallery.
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Post by DanteMGalileo on May 11, 2019 11:10:14 GMT -5
"... Uh... Urban Rangers?" Well, at least the Rolf human recognized the salute, even if the name was different? "Your people have Metropolitan Area Do-Gooders, too? Well, what do they do? Our's do little things. You know. Cut the firewood for Dame Helios down the paved surface indicating traversable area. Rescue Sir Rarog's small purring carnivorous creature from the bark column. Bake a stuffed leaven wheat roll for Lord Kresnik. You know. Little things for fledglings."
Well, they were harmless and did simple tasks. "As Mic said, he was a Metropolitan Area Do-Gooder as a fledgling. Even he can't screw it up... Mic, wrong place for the grabby frond. I've been out for well over nine thousand revolutions and I can still tell that's wrong."
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Post by ParamountKeymaster on May 11, 2019 12:41:15 GMT -5
"The Urban Rangers are devoted to the betterment of the average, good-for-nothing life through the completion of similarly neighborly duties!" Rolf gladly responded. "Rolf leads a troop in his home cul-de-sac, and is himself the first to be rewarded the coveted Hairy Chest of Resilience badge in many generations!"
"Inspired...!" Mic gasped in starstruck awe.
"Yes! Rolf would not have earned such an honor if not for the challenge presented by one riff-raff Ed-boy. N'er-do-wells they may be, but their shenanigans have led to many an amusing scenario!"
"Sure sounds like it!"
Rolf let out a hearty laugh before turning to the little yellow angel. "Vertically-challenged Mic-boy, you say you are avoiding a raucous sibling of the Liderc-boy, yes? If so, Rolf would recommend the use of a voice that leaves the earth unshattered!"
"Oh. Sorry." Mic hunched up and held a hand up to his bashfully grinning mouth. "I do that a lot. The voice part, not the earth-shattering part! At least not... most of the time."
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Post by DanteMGalileo on May 11, 2019 12:54:08 GMT -5
"Oh, good, I'm not the only one who thinks that around here..."
Anyways! "So, uh... you're a troop leader of your bunch? Can't say I ever got my way up there. Neither did Mic." Hey, at least it wasn't something important. "Well, seeing as we have nothing else to do today, and you can't find your friend (I think?), why don't we stick together. Maybe we could join this, uh, Urban Ranger thing?"
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Post by ParamountKeymaster on May 11, 2019 13:15:58 GMT -5
"Yeah, I'd love to stick around!" Mic agreed. "Didn't have anything particularly significant planned this afternoon! Maybe a little tinkering, but I can get back around to that anytime!"
"Hmm..." Rolf seemed intrigued by this proposal. "A criss-cross-dimension branch of the Urban Rangers? Well, Rolf is not opposed to this proposal..!"
"Sweet nostalgia...!"
"Yes! Rolf agrees! One moment!" With that, Rolf slipped out of his seat, swooped under the picnic table and seemed to disappear entirely.
Mic stared blankly at the empty seat, then the table's underside. Then, unperturbed, he turned an optimistic smile on Liderc. "Quite the fortuitous encounter, wouldn't you say, sir?"
And just like that, Rolf boldly popped back up on Liderc's side of the table, his red and yellow shirt and blue jeans replaced with a sky blue uniform, adorned with badges and completed by a matching headpiece and red neckerchief. "Come! Let us bring Urban Ranger dignity and flair to this wayward city!"
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Post by DanteMGalileo on May 11, 2019 13:31:22 GMT -5
"... Yes! Let us bring Metropolitan Area Do-Gooder slash Urban Ranger dignity and flair to this unseemly skyscraping cloistered settlement!" He glanced at Mic. "I could think of many ways this could have gone way worse..."
Liderc made an awkward chuckle at that. Maybe the Rolf human kept his cosmocloset under there for whatever reason? Oh well. "Uh... I'm not sure what you call newbies, but we call them Raw Meat with the Metropolitan Area Do-Gooders." He put his hand into a salute. "So... where to start? Mic, wrong position for the hand."
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Post by ParamountKeymaster on May 11, 2019 13:47:16 GMT -5
"Sorry."
"Raw meat?" Rolf parroted, baffled by the term. "The Urban Rangers would not sully the name of the precious animal flesh by using it as such a derogatory term!"
The senior ranger shot to his feet, reaching into his pocket and whipping out two red scarfs similar to his own. "Now follow Rolf, Wee Roaches! The time has come for the new flock make their mark upon this land!"
"YES, SIR!" Mic excitedly chimed, accepting his new uniform and tying it around his neck with glee. "I'm a Wee Roach! BEST DAY EVER!"
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