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Post by 42zombies on Dec 30, 2008 11:04:48 GMT -5
Nothing worse than a monster who thinks he's right with God. "'Religious Fanatic Kills 20: Families mourn the loss of their loved ones after the St. George's Day Massacre. The convicted, Peter J. Wharton, will be put on trial February 12th. Citizens are calling for blood.'" The man finished reading the newspaper clipping calmly. With a calm whistle, he put the clipping in his coat pocket and looked at his partner, a red-haired young man. "Religious fanatics are the worst. Weird that he'd be obsessed with St. George, though." The two looked like painfully normal people to the average passer-by. But if one were able to delve deeper, their true forms would be revealed: the shorter man resembled the stereotypical devil. He wore a black suit over his blood-red skin. The taller, red-haired man was bathed in an otherworldly light, which was only increased by his white tuxedo. The two were a strange sight. "Okay, this guy's posessed someone." The devil, Scratch, explained to his partner. "We'll need to be on the lookout for anything weird." His partner, Philip, scoffed. "Scratch, ever since we've gotten here all we've seen is weird stuff. Might be hard to find this guy." |
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Post by nintendonut1 on Dec 30, 2008 11:54:57 GMT -5
Just on cue, the two were treated to a weird spectacle indeed: a mutant bandicoot was staring up at a fruit on a tree above him, scruntinizing it as if trying to choose the smartest way to grab it.
Instead, he deemed that to be too difficult to decide, and took to trying anything that sparked his imagination. He shook the tree, stomped his feet, tried mutiple times to climb the sheer trunk, and even asked it nicely to fall down.
Finally, he had had enough; he was hungry, darnit! He whipped out what looked to be a grenade launcher, lauching another explosive fruit at the tree. The branch exploded in a goopy mess, and the coveted prize landed neatly in his gloved hand. He cried out happily, tossing aside the massive weapon and chowing down on his well-earned meal.
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Post by 42zombies on Dec 30, 2008 12:03:00 GMT -5
Philip watched the bandicoot in confusion. He looked around him as if to make sure he wasn't in Hell. All kinds of crazy crap went down in Hell. Scratch, however, reacted in a much more reasonable fashion.
"Hey, can we talk to you?" He asked calmly. "We've got some questions we'd like to ask you."
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Post by pieandchips on Dec 30, 2008 13:18:21 GMT -5
"Speaking of questions, I have one too!" said Falco popping out of nowhere. "If that thing's filled with fruit, why were you trying to shoot fruit out of that tree?" he asked
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Post by nintendonut1 on Dec 30, 2008 17:43:34 GMT -5
The bandicoot glanced up, the fruit halfway-submerged in his mouth. Juice was all over his face.
"Uh...kay!" He stood up with a dopey grin as he swallowed the rest of it.
At Falco's question, he gave the avian an odd look, then rolled his eyes. "Cause the fruit inside it is EXPLOSIVE fruit. Duh."
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Post by pieandchips on Dec 30, 2008 20:05:28 GMT -5
"That's why they invented Pepto-Bismol" stated Falco. A "ba-dum-pish" sting played out of nowhere
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Post by nintendonut1 on Dec 30, 2008 20:59:55 GMT -5
"BWAHAHAHA!" The bandicoot laughed intensely, wiping away his tears. "Ohhhh... that's a good one."
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Post by pieandchips on Dec 30, 2008 21:36:36 GMT -5
Falco pulled out a notepad and wrote that joke down. "I gotta remember that" he muttered
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Post by 42zombies on Dec 31, 2008 13:09:42 GMT -5
Scratch stared at the two for a few minutes before he finally turned. "These two won't be able to help us. They're too busy being idiots." Philip shrugged. "For once, I actually agree with you."
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Post by nintendonut1 on Dec 31, 2008 17:44:14 GMT -5
"Oh!" The bandicoot jumped, turning back to the less humorous pair. Some people just don't appreciate a good joke when they heard it. "Sorry! Fire away the Q's!"
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Post by pieandchips on Dec 31, 2008 19:01:42 GMT -5
"Q's?" asked Falco
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Post by nintendonut1 on Dec 31, 2008 19:17:08 GMT -5
"Questions! Duh!" Crash stuck his tongue out. "Did you have a bowl of STUPID for breakfast or what!?"
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Post by pieandchips on Dec 31, 2008 21:19:09 GMT -5
"Well EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE me, Bandicoot! Wow that sucked... I have GOT to stop watching so much Nostalgia Critic" Falco said
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Post by nintendonut1 on Jan 1, 2009 1:34:42 GMT -5
The bandicoot cringed. "Ew. Yeah, no. None of that, please."
(wait for 42)
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Post by 42zombies on Jan 1, 2009 15:25:04 GMT -5
Scratch groaned. He was right-- the two were undoubtedly idiots.
"You can't help us-- I was stupid thinking that you could." Then, to Philip, he whispered, "We need to find this St. George killer before someone gets hurt."
A harch, buzzing noise suddenly screeched out through the air. Reaching into his suit pocket, Philip pulled out what looked like a pure-white GPS. The device shook and beeped with such force that he nearly dropped it.
"That's odd." Philip acknowledged. "God must have slipped this in my pocket." "What the hell is it?" Scratch asked curiously. A large, red arrow pointed forward on the GPS. In the upper-right corner was the picture of a young man. The young man was dressed in orange and had a black ski cap on.
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