Post by Felix Falora on Jun 10, 2010 10:35:52 GMT -5
Ladies and gentlemen, I have finally fucking snapped. My brother is dead, the body is all bloodied, and I am outside even now running from the apartment complex as I type this.
Ok, so that's just a bloody sham. I didn't kill him... but I NEARLY did. I actually picked up the knife and put it to his throat, but I didn't get the chance to actually slit it before morality and logic caught up to me. Fucking logic ruins everything; why can't I just slice his throat and be done with it? Because it's wrong and inhuman? No, it'd be inhuman to let him, the next Adolf Hitler, continue to live and grow. It'd be inhuman to let the heart and blood of the next Joseph Stalin pump before my very eyes. That dictator's attitude, that godlike complexity, to expect his way and make me miserable if I don't give it to him. But today he has gone too far. What could he have possibly done to inspire such insanity from me that caused me to put a knife to his throat?
Well for starters he threw my laptop across the room after the real big event. I was surprised to find it still working. Maybe it was blessings considering how much bad luck I DO have, though a few of the keys on the keyboard feel weird. But no, that's not the worst of it, no. Here's the reason I nearly killed him.
Before that reason, he approached me and insulted me to do something while I was asleep. Apparantly it was to give him his bed or something and I would've done that if he asked nicely, but, of course, thinking he's GOD, he has to act like a meglomaniacal dick about it. And since I'm half-asleep, having only gone to bed at 7:00 A.M. after Edge and I were done our MSN RPs, I take his insults and what not to the highest degree and refuse him everything before going back to sleep. Well an hour later, this is what I find.
I see he's typing on the laptop. I get curious as to what he's typic and go check. He literally contacted one of my Yahoo friends and harassed them under my name, using every special thing she had told me about herself. Nicholas always reads over my shoulders when I'm chatting. He gets pissed off when I do Yaoi eroticas because he "doesn't want to read that faggot ass shit," but I tell him that I don't want him reading over my shoulder. Well he read every single bit of information the girl had given to me as we got closer and closer as friends. He knew every weakness that made her tick. And he used it against her. By the time I was able to get the laptop back using force, she had already blocked me in tears. I can only assume she's gone to commit some sort of self-mutilation as I was one of the few people she could trust in.
And then he throws the laptop acorss the room.
Well I'm not entirely an unlogical man. I pick up the laptop and make sure it's ok before telling my parents about it. Problem is they don't seem to understand the severity of what my brother did, especially when he comes in and starts denying it to high hell and saying he didn't do it. In the end, they both did what they usually did in cases like this. They told Nicholas to leave me alone and let him off the hook. They told me that I'm supposed to be the bigger brother and supposed to love my brother and not be such an asshole to him because I'm his rolemodel and other stupid bullshit crap like that. Eventually they just decided to pin all of the blame on me and tell me that I shouldn't have done "whatever it was you did to make Nicholas mad." Ok, fuck you! FUCK YOU FOR NOT LISTENING AS USUAL!
So telling on him and ignoring him did nothing. Those are like the only two things I can do living with my parents and none of it works. After having the blame pinned on me, I naturally left feeling pissed. I wanted to yell at them, but I didn't want to get punished. Unfortunately holding that anger in backfired on me though because Nicholas came in the kitchen after me when I went to get a freezy pop to calm down and said that if I didn't start obeying him more, he'd harass Kelsey next. Now I know Kelsey's not instinctual or, dare I say it and forgive me my former friend for doing so, foolish enough to believe it's actual me, but by that point it was enough. I was drowsy and pissed from waking up, enranged that he threw my laptop across the room, infuriated that he assaulted one of my best friends over something trivial as his fucking bed, and then completely LUNATIC when the parents let him get away with it. This is where I become overtly stupid. All that anger I bottled up explodes and I take the knife I used to open freezy pops with and put it to his throat, ready to slit his motherfucking throat open and finally rid the world of his existance. And I don't love him, I haven't loved him since he became this way and I will NEVER love him. I may act like I love him, but I will never truely love him as he doesn't deserve any love, so it's not love that saves his dumbass. No, what saves him is that now that I'm ready to kill him, paranoia kicks in as I'm reminded that killing him WILL get me sent to the jail, so I naturally let him go and here I am now, infuriated, wanting to kill, and not knowing what else to do really.
Ignoring him did nothing for me. Telling my parents did nothing for me. Nothing does anything for me except violence. They tell me to tell on him, but then they don't listen except for when they want to. There is no point to telling on him as I will get into trouble for merely being the victim in the household. So yes, after doing everything else to try and subdue him, with nothing else working, I literally tried to kill my brother, but I couldn't do it because I'm a law-fearing PUSSY! I can't stand it anymore. Often he has made my life miserable, but never to this degree and I feel my sanity slipping even now with him LAYING ASLEEP AND VULNERABLE IN HERE! I want to kill him, I have every reason FOR killing him, but that'll only get me sent to jail. I hate him, I hate this family, and I will enjoy moving out greatly. When I can get out of this hellhole, I will be enthralled and introduced to a Paradise free from the greater part of misery at last. Until then, though, I am forced to deal with this psychosis that my brother has induced into me. I need him dead!
Ok, so that's just a bloody sham. I didn't kill him... but I NEARLY did. I actually picked up the knife and put it to his throat, but I didn't get the chance to actually slit it before morality and logic caught up to me. Fucking logic ruins everything; why can't I just slice his throat and be done with it? Because it's wrong and inhuman? No, it'd be inhuman to let him, the next Adolf Hitler, continue to live and grow. It'd be inhuman to let the heart and blood of the next Joseph Stalin pump before my very eyes. That dictator's attitude, that godlike complexity, to expect his way and make me miserable if I don't give it to him. But today he has gone too far. What could he have possibly done to inspire such insanity from me that caused me to put a knife to his throat?
Well for starters he threw my laptop across the room after the real big event. I was surprised to find it still working. Maybe it was blessings considering how much bad luck I DO have, though a few of the keys on the keyboard feel weird. But no, that's not the worst of it, no. Here's the reason I nearly killed him.
Before that reason, he approached me and insulted me to do something while I was asleep. Apparantly it was to give him his bed or something and I would've done that if he asked nicely, but, of course, thinking he's GOD, he has to act like a meglomaniacal dick about it. And since I'm half-asleep, having only gone to bed at 7:00 A.M. after Edge and I were done our MSN RPs, I take his insults and what not to the highest degree and refuse him everything before going back to sleep. Well an hour later, this is what I find.
I see he's typing on the laptop. I get curious as to what he's typic and go check. He literally contacted one of my Yahoo friends and harassed them under my name, using every special thing she had told me about herself. Nicholas always reads over my shoulders when I'm chatting. He gets pissed off when I do Yaoi eroticas because he "doesn't want to read that faggot ass shit," but I tell him that I don't want him reading over my shoulder. Well he read every single bit of information the girl had given to me as we got closer and closer as friends. He knew every weakness that made her tick. And he used it against her. By the time I was able to get the laptop back using force, she had already blocked me in tears. I can only assume she's gone to commit some sort of self-mutilation as I was one of the few people she could trust in.
And then he throws the laptop acorss the room.
Well I'm not entirely an unlogical man. I pick up the laptop and make sure it's ok before telling my parents about it. Problem is they don't seem to understand the severity of what my brother did, especially when he comes in and starts denying it to high hell and saying he didn't do it. In the end, they both did what they usually did in cases like this. They told Nicholas to leave me alone and let him off the hook. They told me that I'm supposed to be the bigger brother and supposed to love my brother and not be such an asshole to him because I'm his rolemodel and other stupid bullshit crap like that. Eventually they just decided to pin all of the blame on me and tell me that I shouldn't have done "whatever it was you did to make Nicholas mad." Ok, fuck you! FUCK YOU FOR NOT LISTENING AS USUAL!
So telling on him and ignoring him did nothing. Those are like the only two things I can do living with my parents and none of it works. After having the blame pinned on me, I naturally left feeling pissed. I wanted to yell at them, but I didn't want to get punished. Unfortunately holding that anger in backfired on me though because Nicholas came in the kitchen after me when I went to get a freezy pop to calm down and said that if I didn't start obeying him more, he'd harass Kelsey next. Now I know Kelsey's not instinctual or, dare I say it and forgive me my former friend for doing so, foolish enough to believe it's actual me, but by that point it was enough. I was drowsy and pissed from waking up, enranged that he threw my laptop across the room, infuriated that he assaulted one of my best friends over something trivial as his fucking bed, and then completely LUNATIC when the parents let him get away with it. This is where I become overtly stupid. All that anger I bottled up explodes and I take the knife I used to open freezy pops with and put it to his throat, ready to slit his motherfucking throat open and finally rid the world of his existance. And I don't love him, I haven't loved him since he became this way and I will NEVER love him. I may act like I love him, but I will never truely love him as he doesn't deserve any love, so it's not love that saves his dumbass. No, what saves him is that now that I'm ready to kill him, paranoia kicks in as I'm reminded that killing him WILL get me sent to the jail, so I naturally let him go and here I am now, infuriated, wanting to kill, and not knowing what else to do really.
Ignoring him did nothing for me. Telling my parents did nothing for me. Nothing does anything for me except violence. They tell me to tell on him, but then they don't listen except for when they want to. There is no point to telling on him as I will get into trouble for merely being the victim in the household. So yes, after doing everything else to try and subdue him, with nothing else working, I literally tried to kill my brother, but I couldn't do it because I'm a law-fearing PUSSY! I can't stand it anymore. Often he has made my life miserable, but never to this degree and I feel my sanity slipping even now with him LAYING ASLEEP AND VULNERABLE IN HERE! I want to kill him, I have every reason FOR killing him, but that'll only get me sent to jail. I hate him, I hate this family, and I will enjoy moving out greatly. When I can get out of this hellhole, I will be enthralled and introduced to a Paradise free from the greater part of misery at last. Until then, though, I am forced to deal with this psychosis that my brother has induced into me. I need him dead!
