The Lavender Rose - Felix's NaNoWriMo Project

[Felix Falora]

(The world is made up.)

Prologue
When I look outside, I see a world of chaos and a world of lies, a world my father built out of hatred. A world of tyranny, a world of dishonor, and a world of chaos. On the outside, it may seem like a beautiful utopia. Order and law ruled the system, keeping it in check. Nothing seemed out of place. Nothing seemed wrong. But in the end, you had to look upon the inside to see the true transgressions, the truth about our country. You see, you may hear of nations run by government, keeping religion and government seperate, segregated by the differences between them. One was a sytem made by man in order to keep man under its control while the other was also made by man, yet had the gall to say it was created by God, the one true God. In this world, you had plenty of religions. Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism... you even had Christianity, and some Christians who were kind and cared for the world, like Anna and her group, the Archangels. They opposed my father and yet kept to Christ's word. Unfortunately, she's not in control, but my father is. And my father is a very cruel man, a tyrant and leader of his own private militia group, the Crusaders.

You see, my father practically idolizes Adolf Hitler. Though he'd never admit to it, his actions basically mirror those of the old German tyrant's. He claimed that only one group had the right to live and it was those who swore themselves to the Church of Saint John. I'm sure the real saint, if he so existed, must be rolling in his grave right now. He hunted down anyone that did not do so otherwise. He tried to oppose Anna and her Archangels, who had a different agenda, but they were able to easily outmanuveur him. So he targeted the people. Anyone he thought wasn't a Christian, he would have them executed. He ruled through fear and terror and so people came to the church in order to avoid death. But above all else, the one group my father swore to eradicate has been the one jeopardized the most. This is the reason I compare my father to the very symbol of evil itsself.

You see... my father was once molested, maybe even raped, by another man. The tragedy was forever embellished in his mind and thus he uses it to fuel his hatred and hunt against all homosexuals. From gay men to lesbians, teenagers and adults, even children he thought were experimenting with the very idea, he attacked them and rounded them up. Where they are now, I cannot say. I dare not to ask my father in fear that the knowledge might haunt me at night. You might ask me why I'm so worried about it. Truthfully I should not worry so much as I am his son, henceforth I am most likely straight, correct? Well you might think that, but if you do, then you are wrong. I am as gay as the people he hunts. From the moment I was able to love, I have always considered men to be beautiful, strong and protective. I have always been somewhat effeminate and thus my father would push me hard to be more masculine. His excuse was that he did not want to lose me to those "fiends" as he called them.

My name is Michael Maurice. My father is self-proclaimed Patriarch to the Church of Saint John, His Beatitude Lawrence Maurice, though I do not know if he is truely a Patriarch or lying about it. I am a mere 15 years old and I am confident in my sexuality, but not comfortable. I will never be able to fully accept who I am until I can do so without fear of consequence. When that day comes, I'll be able to find a lover, settle down with him, maybe adopt a kid or two and raise a family, work a good job, and eventually enjoy life. Until then, though, I'm doomed to live a lie. As far as the world knows, I am a follower of Christ. I go to the Church of Saint John and listen to my father's teachings. I am homeschooled by my father, made to listen to his lies. He does not teach me of Science or Mathematics, but only what he thinks I need to know. My homeschoolings are just one big Bible Studies class. Thanks to that, I can pretty much quote any Bible verse from the Catholic Bible I need to off the back of my head as well as interpret it to what my father thinks it means... as well as what I think it means.

Staying inside was never good for me. I always took a walk at night. My father allowed it. He figured I would never let myself get caught up in negative affairs for I carried the word of Christ in my heart. Maybe I did care about Christ and God, but not in the way he thought I did. I know that he will eventually spark a great battle that I do not want to partake in. When the rebellion finally happens, many people will die. I would be conflicted as to which side I would take. On one hand, no matter how much I hate his thoughts, I do not wish to oppose my father. He is still my family and ever since mother died, he's the only family I have left. On the other hand, however, I do not wish to go against who and what I am. The people see me as Lawrence's son, taught by my father to be just as defiant and cruel, yet if such a time ever came, I could prove myself as one of them and end the tyranny my father has placed over the land once and for all. It would be so easy if it was someone else.

The moonlight shined upon me. Streetlights also dotted the roads. We may be a small island country, but Laterre still gets help from the mother country that colonized it somewhere in the 1400s before they let it take on its own governement. France truely is a generation nation. Even as cruel as he is to the people he does not like here, father makes sure to give thanks to France for the money and goods we recieve, including our new technologies. I do not wish to make him look out to be utterly evil, but when you do heinous deeds, all you do is screw yourself over. The worst thing, though, is that his militia, the Crusaders, was not forced. People volunteered to be a part of it. Maybe some truely did volunteer out of fear, but I can guarantee that plenty also joined for the sake of power and authority. These people can now attack whoever they want without consequence. And it would only get worse.

"Are you an idiot? You could get mugged walking out here."

Chapter 1
I looked to see who it was that asked me that. Since I was wearing casual wear, I guess he didn't recognize who I was. He, himself, seemed rather mysterious. He looked dark and weird. His hair was brushed back, dark colored. His eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, an absurd thing to wear at this time of night. I guess he just wanted to blend into the darkness, what with the fact that his jacket, shirt, pants, and shoes were black as well. Dressed like that, I'd think he was the mugger, not someone trying to protect me from them. As I stared at him, he just offered me a small smirk and then spoke once again. "The Crusaders will be on their way. Follow me. I'll get you to safety." Then he turned and walked off into the alleyway between two stores. My eyes widened as I realized he must've been someone against my father's group and, out of curiosity, I chose to follow. I saw him open a sewer grate that covered a passage into the watery labyrinth below us and then drop inside. The splash made me feel sick, but curious to figure out who he was and why he was worried about my father, I followed him.

The stench in the sewers was overpowering. It made me want to puke right there, but I kept to myself as I followed. Eventually, however, I could make out the sound of music. Down here, no one above would be able to hear anything. Concrete was the basis of the roads, after all, and much of the ground in the cities was made up of that very substance if it was not grass or dirt. Eventually we came to a crossing with light and I found myself shocked to see a makeshift shelter down here. I found myself wondering how in the world they got electricity down here, but my question was not asked as the man with sunglasses took them off and turned to face me, saying quite simply, "We're here." I then noted that his eyes were sort of a pinkish red color. That was quite odd and I almost asked if he was a vampire. I guess my staring got to him because he just chuckled at me before walking inside.

I followed him and noted that there were a good number of people dancing to the music that was playing. Young and old people alike grinded their bodies together to the passion, but what I did not fail to observe was that most of them were dancing with members of the same sex. Food and beverages were accessible and I found my stomach growling at the sheer variety they had. The pink-eyed man nodded at everything, overseeing things as if he was making sure things were exactly as he wanted them to be, then looked at me and patted my shoulder. "Welcome to the Lavender Rose. We're a refuge for people hunted down by that bastard Lawrence and his eradication agenda. Not many people just walk around at night like that; rather gutsy move, but foolish. Do you know how many of Lawrence's goons would've interpreted that as you trying to sneak to your lover's house? And if you were, he'd be dead too."

I didn't think my father taught his men to be that bad. The man looked at me and then chuckled. "My name's Ace. That's all you need to know anyway. So who are you and what brought you outside anyway?"

I grimaced, realizing that telling him who I was would lead to quite the uproar from the crowd, but if I lied, he'd eventually figure out who I was later. So I asked him nicely if we could have a room alone. "Hey, hey, I don't fuck on first meetings," he said as if trying to be funny. I didn't exactly find that hilarious, obviously, and after a rather nasty look at him, he relented and took me to a sort of bedroom. "I live here," he said. Looking around, I noticed how untidy and messy it was. I guess he was one of those types, the types who threw everything in a random place and left it there. At least I didn't notice any trash on the floor or else I would've had a real hard time speaking in here. "So. What is it you wanted to tell me?"

Now that we were alone and the party outside was obviously muffled outside, I nodded. "Well, this might come as a shock to you," I started with, "but actually... my name is Michael... Michael Maurice."

He just looked at me for a couple of seconds. I wondered if he was comtemplating murdering me. Then he just broke out into laughter, clutching himself as he howled his amusement into the air. "Don't play around!" he said, though still rather humored. "Michael Maurice?! Good one man! There's no way in Hell you could be that god-loving, Bible-studying pussy."

"Nice to know that's what the people think of me," I replied rather sourly and his amusement dropped. "I'm not joking. I am Michael Maurice! My father is the Patriarch of the Church of Saint John and, believe it or not, I do believe in God and Christ, just not in the same way as my father!"

Now the man, Ace, just stared at me for a minute and then looked a little frightened. "So you mean to tell me that I just brought the son of our worst enemy to our hideout?" he asked me.

"That was on your own stupidity, not mine," I said, now cross to find out how much of a stupid jerk this man was. "Besides, there's no need to panic. I'm not a big fan of my father either. If anything, I believe more in what the Archangels believe."

"The who?" Ace asked. I sighed and just didn't bother to explain on.

"In any case, now you know who I am and how stupid you are. So what are you gonna do? Kidnap me? Kill me? Do either and my father will hunt you down until you die, which I'd rather avoid happening as I don't want my pain to be any more incentive for his gay-hunting crusade."

"And why wouldn't you believe in what your father believes?" Ace asked me simply.

"Because I happen to be gay myself," I replied, making sure I looked serious and honest.

Once again, he stared at me with dumbstruck confusion. Then he just sighed, holding his head in his hand. "What a day. I lead Michael Maurice to our little hangout and he turns out to be gay himself," he mutters to himself. "So the son of our government's greatest tyrant is a cocksucker?"

"If you have to be so blunt about it."

"Then you're welcome here." Ace nodded. "It's a good thing no one's ever really seen you. How come you don't get out more often, huh?"

"Eh... father doesn't let me out during the day. I tend to roam more at night, when his men are out more then other people, so only they would see me." I sighed. "Guess my father's overprotectiveness actually saved me here."

We had a bit of a silence between us. I guess both of us had to take in what was happening here. Ace was apparantly not only against my father, but against God. I assumed he ran this little underground shelter for those hunted by Lawrence, the Lavender Rose. But, in his stupidity and potentially alcohol-driven behavior, he had showed me his shelter. If I was on my father's side, I could show my father this place and then end any hopes of a rebellion for freedom rising from the underground. Of course that would be cause for panic, but I don't want my father to win, so in the end both of us were on the same page. But that didn't change my heritage as the son to Ace's current enemy, as well as the enemy to a good number of the people here. We'd have to disguise that.

"If you come here from now on, make sure you go by a different name," Ace said. "Something simple, easy to remember. Meanwhile, I'll talk to my friends about you. We'll see what we can do about all of this. For now, I think you better get back home before your father sends his men to scour the city looking for you."

As I left the Lavender Rose, I wondered when, and if, I'd be coming back. It seemed like a nice place, even if its leader was rather stupid, and it was what I'd been looking for my entire life, a group of people that, in the end, were just like me. Even if their upbringings were different, even if they viewed me as the enemy, they were my people, my father's people, and I had to get them to trust me. I had to become one of them. I climbed out of the sewers, ended up in a totally different place from where Ace had dropped me. After closing the grate, I walked out only to come face to face with a loud "HALT!" and a flashlight in my face. When the man noticed me, however, he put his flashlight down. "Ahhhh, young Michael. What are you doing out so late?"

It was one of my father's men, Henry Lesalle. He seemed like one of the men that would've joined up for fear of death over genuine hatred as he and I got along a bit. He was almost as young as me, but tougher still. People said he was only strong because he was black; there was an unfortunate level of racism in our country, but at least my father didn't add to that aspect of prejudice. Henry was as capable in father's group as any of the other men. He was loyal to the Church of Saint John and to the laws of Laterre, even if those laws came from my father. So something tells me that he joined the Crusaders, not for the chance of getting to kill people and be rewarded for it, but only because he felt he was serving his country in doing so. I looked at him with a sigh and said, "Just taking a late night walk. I wanted to clear my head before tomorrow's classes."

"That's all good and well, sir, but dangerous individuals walk the street at night. You should go back home to the church and rest. I will escort you there myself." Realizing that there was no way to avoid this, I nodded and let Henry take me back. That's when he made a rather rude, yet truthful, comment. "Pardon me, sir, but you smell like you just got out of the sewer. You should probably take better care of your hygeine."

I grimaced, but just grinned and bore it. "Yeah. That's what I get for not bathing for a while," I said with a scalding tone in my voice, yet trying to sound like that was indeed the case and it wasn't because I actually just got out of the sewer. I was thankful that it worked and, as I saw the church come into view, Henry did not say anything more. We parted ways at the door and I walked inside, ready to go bathe myself before tucking in for the rest of the night. It had been a rather enlightening night, after all, and I had to make sure I imprinted it in my memory.

Chapter 2
The church was a rather lovely place. If there is one thing I had to give to churches, it would always be architecture. I have heard of tales of churches in other countries that were more then my church. They were more open-minded and kind, had pastors that would pray for people, and genuinely turn them to the side of good. In Latelle, the only person I could think of that was like that was Anna and her group of Archangels. I guess I should've explained this earlier. Anna Maurice, my older sister. She's one of the ones to have literally turned on my father. She started the first rebellion group against him, the Archangels. They want to overthrow my father and take over, spread the real word of Christ. My sister always told me that Christ loved everyone, even those that sinned, and that the only way to be close to him was to love everyone, no matter how they wronged you or those that you loved. No matter what the sins, be it minor sins such as thievery and homosexuality to severe sins such as murder, rape, and adultery, my sister said that the only way to God and Christ is love, not hatred.

My father, however, rebuked my sister, telling her that the only way to God was to purge those that went against him. Those that sinned needed to be eliminated for the sake of keeping the country pure. What my father neglects to realize, Anna said, was that humans were born into sin and that sin is their very nature. The only way for a human to truely make it into Heaven is to live as close to Jesus as possible, pray and repent for your sins, and learn from them. When I asked her about father's vendetta against homosexuals, she said, "That vendetta is only in his mind because he chooses to blame others for his pain. He was hurt once, yes, but he holds a grudge against everyone for it. That is not the way of Christ, but of the Devil. The only way to get closer to Heaven is to let go of his anger and reaccept Christ back into his heart." That made sense to me, which is why I believe more the way my sister believes.

Anna left, saying she would build a church like this one day and teach Latelle the word of Christ as it was meant to be taught. Father tried to have her killed, but no one would move to strike her. When questioned as to why they disobeyed orders, the men said that their fingers froze on the triggers of their guns; they could not move to shoot. One man dropped the gun and pulled a knife, trying to stab her, but ended up tripping over thin air, landing face first on the ground. She had merely walked away, and did so unscathed. Had it been her faith in God that had saved her? That's what I thought. Everytime father tries to find her, she eludes him, evading his grasp time and time again. Mentioning Anna or the Archangels, people of the faith she had gathered to follow her on her journey, incited a great rage inside him that his own daughter would betray him. However, what Anna has done reminds me of Matthew 10:37. "He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

Anna turned away from father in order to pursue God. She did not feel that he was helping her get closer to Him, but rather was just pushing her away. So she left him behind and he, in turn, condemned her, wishing her a lifetime in Hell for her foolishness. I cannot help but feel that it is father who is foolish for such a thing. He does not seem like a good Patriatch if he would so easily invoke the wrath of God on one of His followers, one who literally turned aside everything she had to pursue him. But father will not see that. He has tried to press into me that Anna has broken the Fifth Commandment. "Honor thy father and mother." I find it funny that, even though it says that, Matthew 10:37 tells you to cast family aside, not to mention Luke 14:26. "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." Maybe I'm missing the true interpretation of this quote. Maybe I'm supposed to take it out of context and interpret it differently, but even then it sounds like I must not honor anyone except Christ, something that my father has always tried to push onto me.

"Son, you know why I have formed the Crusaders?" my father asked me.

I looked at him and nodded softly. "You wished to punish sinners," I said. I knew how to answer, to keep from making him angry. I feared his wrath, so I spoke to appease him. "You wanted to make sure that all of Latelle realized that you would make them understand the wrath of God."

"Do you remember which passages speak of the wrath of God?" Lawrence asked, quizzing me to make sure I remembered my classes. And I remembered. Oh how did I remember.

"There's so many that speak of his wrath. From nearly every book, they mention how kind God is, yet also how vengeful he may be," I replied.

"And do you remember my favorite?" he asked, practically with a purr, waiting for the answer I'd give to him perfectly.

"Isaiah 13:5-11. 'They come from a far country, from the end of Heaven, even the Lord, and the weapons of his indignation, to destroy the whole land. Howl ye; for the day of the Lord is at hand; it shall come as a destruction from the Almighty. Therefore shall all hands be faint, and every man's heart shall melt: And they shall be afraid: pangs and sorrows shall take hold of them; they shall be in pain as a woman that travaileth: they shall be amazed one at another; their faces shall be as flames. Behold, the day of the Lord cometh, cruel both with wrath and fierce anger, to lay the land desolate: and he shall destroy the sinners thereof out of it. For the stars of Heaven and the constellations thereof shall not give their light: the sun shall be darkened in his going forth, and the moon shall not cause her light to shine. And I will punish the world for their evil, and the wicked for their iniquity; and I will cause the arrogancy of the proud to cease, and will lay low the haughtiness of the terrible.'"

"Amen," my father said with a strong voice as he patted my shoulder hard. "You have learned well, Michael. Everything I taught you shall be yours when I pass away. The Church of Saint John and all of Latelle. With God's blessing, you will rule it all and continue my crusade. And you know why I have long fought hard for this crusade."

"Leviticus 20:13. 'If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.' So it is said, so shall it be."

"Excellent. Let us pray." With that, my father and I clasped hands and he began the opening rights. "Blessed Father, we stand here today to give praise to your perfect name. We ask for your holy guidance in purging those who have cast you away and taken your name in vain. Let not one remain standing, from blasphemers to murders, pillagers to rapists, thieves, gypsies, fortune tellers, fonicaters, sodomites, and those who would encourage the destruction of the Church that exists to keep your name pure. Let them all be found and cast away, that their lives may end and their souls return to Hell. Blessed you be, our great Father. In the name of our savior, Jesus Christ, we thankfully praise your name. Amen."

"Amen," I repeated. With that, father let me go. I went towards the bathroom, walking slowly so as to not invoke suspicion. When I got there, however, I nearly retched, holding myself back as bile rose in my throat. Tears stung my eyes as I tried to comprehend just how much my father could hate his own people. Surely he had to realize that God was no longer the wrathful dictator of the Old Testament, but a new caring diety thanks to his son, Jesus Christ. Or maybe I was wrong and father was right, in which case should we really worship God? They say that those dieties without followers have no existance. Even father agreed that if we could convert everyone to Catholicism, the other gods would effectively die. What if Anna was wrong?

Well there's no way to really find out who's wrong or right, so I guess the choice that would help me keep my sanity would be to just stop worrying about it. Night was coming and I had somewhere to go. The Lavender Rose called to me. Ace said he wanted to talk to his friends last time I visited, so maybe they'd be interested in seeing me and realizing that I was not the son of my father, no matter how cowardly I am, but one of them, afraid of being caught. After all, how could I not get caught if I wasn't in a position where I was so close to danger all the time?

Chapter 3
The scent of the sewers really didn't get any better. I asked Ace how he could deal with the smell, how anyone could deal with the smell, and his response made so much sense it nearly made me cry. "We come down here to have a good time without Lawrence's men finding us. No one would think to look in the sewers except for those people who are really committed to hunting us down. So we suck it up and deal with it because it's the only place we can escape to where we can be who we are. Plenty of guys and girls get shot because they don't find us, but get found by your father instead." I remained silent for the rest of the trip to the Lavender Rose after that. I wanted to say something, anything, but in the end, he was right. A building could be searched, but people tended to want to avoid the watery, waste-filled labyrinth of pipes that was the sewers.

We came across the Lavender Rose again. I noticed how different the place was from the real sewers. For starters, it smells better. That was probably the most important thing to everybody here. Then there was also the fact that it seemed to expand over time. I guess they were digging themselves a sort of home and it showed as there were more rooms now then before. Perhaps they wanted to abandon the city, live down here. But how could they? Father would find them before the end if so many people dissapeared.

"Ahhh, you must be the one Ace told me about." A British accent caused me to turn and look at one of the cutest individuals I've ever seen. Sure, he tried to look mature, hiding behind glasses and wearing a suit, but his face looked rather youthful, his brown hair was brushed in a cutesy manner, and his honey-brown eyes were just something I could literally squeal at due to my effeminate mannerism. I nodded at his statement and he grinned. "My name's King. I'm the one running the Lavender Rose?"

"You run the Lavender Rose?" I looked shocked. "I thought Ace did."

"Who, that drunken imbecile? Hell no," King said with a chuckle. "We don't even let him sit down and discuss any of the community's politics with us." His way of speaking confused me. Maybe it was customary for British men to try and sound like adults. He couldn't have been any older then me though, the way he liked. "In any case, why don't you come inside for a spot of drink? We can discuss your visits here safely inside."

I didn't like the way he said. Truthfully I figured my presence here, as Lawrence's son, would cause some reason for worry. The way he said it, however, made me think that he had something else planned. Nevertheless, I joined him. He poured me a drink of Coca Cola and proceeded to pour himself a glass of the same beverage. He raised his glass to a toast and I looked confused. "To freedom," he said simply and I, understanding then, clinked my glass against his. We drinked, downing our glasses in one sitting, and then put them on the table before King looked at me with a serious expression on his face.

"Michael Maurice... you are the son of Lawrence Maurice, our most hated enemy, correct?" he asked.

"I-I am," I said, now sounding rather frightened by the tone he was using.

"And yet you are against everything he fights for, including the fact that you are homosexual yourself."

"That's correct."

King brought his hands together, intertwining his fingers. He looked like he was thinking hard, but it was quick as he then looked up at me again and spoke more. "What if we asked you for Crusader patrol routes, anything to that degree?"

"I do not have that information. Father does not think I need to know it," I replied.

"I see... damn. We've been hard pressed, trying to steal equipment and what not to come down here," King said. I grimaced as he said that. Another thing I forgot to mention. Lately we had a string of reported thefts in the country. However, father never paid it any notice. He was more worried about eliminating sinners he claimed were worse then thieves. He'd flip his lid if he learned that the thefts were indeed committed by a group of homosexuals. "I figured if we had routes, we'd know when to strike. Then we could get more then just food and drinks."

"Are you trying to build an underground city down here?" I asked, unable to hold my curiosity anymore.

"Not a city. A safe haven. A place for me and my compatriots to live and those like us to come down and escape from the prejudices and laws of the upper world and of the Church of Saint John." King smiled and nodded at what must've been some inner thought of his haven. "Perhaps you cannot understand why we want this... why we need this."

"No, I understand perfectly," I replied. "You want to be who you are, without having to worry about what anyone else thinks. You want to express yourselves without fear of consequence. Consequences exist for all actions, true, but you don't want to die just for loving another man. You want to be able to love without suffering for it or bringing your lover into suffering. Am I correct in assuming all of that?"

"Perfectly," King replied. "I guess you feel the same then? It must be worse for you, having your father be the one committing all of these attrocities."

"If I had been as brave as my sister, I could've left him." I sighed. "I'm a coward though."

"Maybe. But even the bravest men cower at authority when they have everything to lose. I, however, have nothing more to lose then my lover, Queen. He has agreed to see things through with me to the end, however, so I have no reason to fear. In the end, I do not fear so badly because I have those I love with me, friends and lover alike." King grinned. "That's all that matters in the end. After all, we humans are stronger then any diety. No matter what the Church says, we are insurmountable when we come together."

I shook my head when he said that. King frowned at me, but I looked up at him. "My sister, Anna, leads a group called the Archangels. My father has tried to have her killed for years ever since she left him. The first time he tried to have her killed, however, she walked out unscathed despite the fact that everyone pointed guns at her. Their fingers froze on the triggers, King, They couldn't shoot her, even though many of them tried. And one even tried to stab her, but he tripped over nothing. He just fell, as if someone swept his legs out from under him. I don't think it was just coincidence that she was able to escape harm like that. She should've gotten at least a scratch, but someone or something was protecting her. And I think it was God. I'm sorry, but I don't think you're right. In the face of God, we humans are weak."

"And what makes you say this?" King asked me, his eyebrows raised.

"Philippians 4:13. 'I can do all things through him who strengthens me.' He protected my sister and gave her the strength to disobey my father and leave him so that she could find her own path."

King and I just stared at each other for a while. I was kind of getting annoyed by these Mexican standoffs. I wish either of us had an idea of what we should say, but unfortunately such stareoffs always occured because neither party had an answer. Eventually he finally spoke, but it wasn't as I had hoped really. Then again, I suppose I shouldn't have sounded so evangelical about it.

"I was never a big believer, Michael. I have experienced things that have made me question the faith to where I can never look at it the same again," he replied. "So I'm afraid I am unable to believe that your sister's luck was anything but that. She was just very lucky and that's all. Guns jam and people are clumsy all the time." He then sighed. "It's getting late. You should probably go home. Feel free to come back anytime though."

When I left, I left with a heavy heart. I had hoped that Ace's friend would be kind and understanding. I guess that'd be too much to hope for every human. Besides, I guess I can understand the viewpoint he carries with him. Father has truely damaged the faith for those that have been victims of his self-inflicted crusade and, with what he has done and how many people he has killed, it was only a matter of time until someone decided to blame the entire religion of Catholicism instead of just my father, as if to say that everyone who followed the belief was evil, cold-hearted, and monstrous. I wanted to let it go, for it was his life and his right to believe such a thing. But, at the same time, I just couldn't imagine letting him think that as I didn't want him to suffer for nonbelief. I didn't want any of them to suffer for nonbelief.

2 Thessalonians 1:6-8. "Seeing it is a righteous thing with God to recompense tribulation to them that trouble you; And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from Heaven with his mighty angels, in flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ." I understand this too well, that nonbelievers shall be punished no matter how good and righteous they are, because they did not have faith in Christ. So it is said, so shall it be.

Yet I also have to question how quick we are to judge, even how quick I am to judge, when taking in account the passage of Romans 2:1. "Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things." We've all forgotten this passage, my father and I. Everyone judges, even though such a thing is only the job of God himself.

Chapter 4
My father taught me some more, but this time it was a little bit different. He actually took me outside of the church this time, to overlook the city in our jurisdiction. Sure we had a few cities on Laterre, but our grand city of Diament was still a beautiful city with as much modern architecture as old. Our church, of course, had been founded during the times of the colonization, but the Pope had never come to visit, so that's why I can't believe my father when he calls himself a Patriarch and has others adress him as His Beatitude. Didn't the Pope himself usually come to those churches with bishops he cared about? Maybe I'm just looking too deeply into this, however, as father is still ruler of the country, being the head of his church.

"Look at the people here, Michael," Lawrence said. "Each and every one a sinner, but it is human nature to be such. However, we strive to be servents of God, the Almighty, so we walk above them and take the path of holiness." Somehow I doubted father was taking such a path, otherwise he would've been protected like Anna when he tried to have her killed. That seemed like divine guidance and protection to me. This was just one madman's preaching, trying to put himself above humanity by claiming he was doing God's work. "These are the people we must save, but some are unable to be saved. I have formed the Crusaders for the purpose of expelling all evil from our glorious country so that it will be a paradise, a world where all worship God with faith and love."

I grimaced as we came up to one house. "I believe this house is property to Cynthia Malkinson. However, my faithful servent Jacquelyn has informed me that Cynthia has been committing fornication with the Devil, another woman by the name of Ashley Johanson." My blood froze as my father said all of this. For starters, I had seen Jacquelyn around the church and I can tell you that, of all the Crusaders who may've felt like they were forced to join under penalty of death, Jacquelyn is one of those who joined because she loved the idea of having power and judging those that live. She's a heartless, cruel woman who takes sadistic pleasure in the suffering of others. She doesn't even care for religion; I've heard her when father is not around and she does not care for God or Christ at all. She's only in it to kill people without consequence, to have people die at her word and behest when she wants them to. I can almost guarantee that Wilma and Cynthia were not doing anything and just got on Jacquelyn's bad side. But father didn't bring me here to have me watch as he killed them, did he?

It turns out he did. He burst open the door, pulling a sword, and cut one woman down where she stood. Wilma Johanson had just been trying to leave the house, grabbing her coat, when father burst in and ritualistically beheaded her. He then stormed towards a frightened Cynthia, who tried to run, but to no avail. He grabbed her hair, pulling her down, and then pinned her to the ground, holding his sword at her neck despite her weeping and begging for mercy. Then he looked up at me. "When purging the world of an abomination, you must not kill too hastilly unless there are more then one. When making a kill, you must try to pin them down. If they are stronger then you, then you may strike, but try to keep them alive as long as possible in order to enhance their suffering and add to the pleasure of it." The way he spoke almost stopped my heart, constricting to it to a slow pace as he continued. "While you hold the victim down, you cannot just kill them quickly. You must thank God for allowing you to do his work. Pray to him before you make the kill. Repeat after me."

"O Father, blessed be thy name. We bring to you a sinner whose deeds have tarnished and damaged you. Though you give her life, she gives you pain. Though you show her love, she gives you hate. Though you bring her upon this world to do your bidding, she relinquishes you from her life and does the work of the Devil. Heavenly Father, we thank you for showing us this heinous sinner, and we return to you her blood for only in death will be she cleansed, and only in your arms will her soul be judged, will she be sent to the pit of Hell she justly belongs for her treachery and her treason. We ask that we may be able to do more of your work, to become closer to you and keep close to your word, so that we may rejoin you in Heaven when our time on this mortal plane is done. By the power of our savior Jesus Christ we pray, amen." I mirrored him in this prayer. I was afraid of what would happen to me if I did not. But at the same time, such sadness overwhelmed me that it took all the willpower I could muster not to scream, cry, or lament right there.

He then slit the screaming Cynthia's throat. Her howls fell silent and gurgles came as blood poured out of her mouth. I realized that father cut her this way deliberately, so she would die slowly, choking on her own blood. He chuckled and left while I stood there, shocked and watching as she tried to grip my leg, clutching for it searchingly before her hand finally dropped. The fear in her eyes did not dissapear, but the flame of life stopped burning. I looked upon her corpse, felt how could it was, and only then did the finality of it hit me. She was gone. Never again would she or Wilma feel the love they had felt for each other before, the love I thought they hadn't been feeling, the love I thought Jacquelyn had been falsifying for the sake of Lawrence killing two innocent women. But they were still innocent as they only wanted to live in God's world, show love to others the way God asked his children to show love to their enemies... showing love to enemies...

Matthew 5:43-45. "Ye have heard that it hath been said, thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father which is in Heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." God has always wanted us to forgive those who have sinned, those who have made trespasses against us and him, but my father cannot see that... no, he refuses to see it. Even if I showed it to him, he who has read the Bible many times for himself, he would try to say that it is a trick of sorts and that God wants us to continue killing those who go against him. Everything is moving so fast, trying to push me to one side or the other. What kind of madness is this?

Quite simply the madness of real life, a madness I wanted to get away from. So I ran. I took away from the scene of the crime and made towards a sewer grate. Making sure that nobody was around to see me, I opened it up and climbed down, closing the grate on the way down, before running through the sewers. I didn't know where I was going or why I chose to come down here. The sewers were still dark and damp as ever, but the smell did not bother me now as the smell of a corpse and spilled blood had dulled such a sense. I wanted to escape. I wanted to seek help. But what help could I seek? My father thought it was normal. He would try to brainwash me into believing it so. And Anna was gone, most likely fled to one of the other cities, whether it be Rubis, Saphir, or Emeraude. There was no one I could talk to, no one I could trust, or at least so I thought.

Then I crashed into someone. We both fell to the ground and he let out a curse. "Bloody wanker! Watch where you're going!" I stood up and looked at him. He looked back at me, all the anger he must've felt when he said what he said dispelled as he realized who I was. It was King and right next to us was the Lavender Rose. Somehow I had managed to find my way here without Ace's aid. Just blindly wandering, I had found some sort of salvation. "Michael, are you...?" he began. He did not have time to finish. I immediately buried by face into his chest and let out all the lamentations and tears I had been holding in since Cynthia's death right there. He must've understood, or at least shown courtesy to the fact I was upset, for he wrapped his arms around me softly. I must've been loud enough for others to hear as I could literally feel the presence of others watching us and hear muffled voices over my own cries. Eventually I collapsed into King's arms, too tired to think, much less move, and he carried me inside, laying me on a bed. Everything was dark and all I could see was those cold, black eyes, staring at me, judging me for being a coward and letting my father take innocent life when I could've easily stopped him. I failed as a man, as one of God's followers. But why do I have to be a man when I am still just a boy?

Chapter 5
I woke up in the darkness. I thought I was back home, but then I noted warmth next to me. When I looked to the side, there was someone there. He was dark-skinned, strong, had little hair on his head. I guess he laid next to me to keep me company. But who was he? It was weird, sharing a bed with someone I didn't know. Before I could do anything, however, he yawned and opened his eyes. They were also dark, but of a lighter shade then his skin. Mind you, I have nothing against people with colored skin obviously. I am very dissapointed at the level of racism in Laterre, but discrimination is also a part of human nature. I'm left to question, though... is any sin beyond moral hands? A lot of good escape us due to lack of power, but yet we can do as much evil and destruction as we want as long as we remain unopposed. Why does it have to be this way instead of the other way around?

He looked at me and nodded softly. "Morning. You doing ok? King got worried when you rushed in like that. Looked like you were being chased by demons and then you just jump him like that." He spoke in a weird sort of manner. I know Henry spoke formally, but it seemed this man was speaking more casually then Henry. "Ain't got a damn clue what's going on. King's talking 'bout something going on up above that's got you down like this. Maybe you've finally realized your father's a motherfucker or something like that." Then he grimaced. "Man, look at me talking like a damn fool without at least introducing myself. Name's Queen. I'm King's mate."

"Lovers?" I asked curiously. When he nodded, I just looked down. "I'm sorry I..."

"Hey man, it's cool, it's cool. Maybe if you was trying to pop a feel or something, we'd have issues, but as far as I can tell, you just needed to get some bad shit off your chest. Anyway, King asked me to let you when you woke up that he wants to talk to you as soon as possible. Something about getting out whenever possible," Queen replied.

King wanted to speak to me? I thanked Queen for the news and then got up. After dressing myself more appropriately, I walked outside into the main room. Sitting by a table was King, Ace, and two females I had never seen before. One of them looked like a grown woman, long flowing red hair and blue eyes that showed quite a bit of wisdom and expertise. The other, however, looked more like a little girl. She was blond, had green eyes, and was sitting on the older woman's shoulders. There were three chairs vacant there, one for the girl, one for Queen, and one for me I guessed as I took one. Queen took a chair next to King and the girl finally jumped down off the woman's shoulders, sitting on a chair.

"King, I would like to introduce all of my colleagues. Of course you know Ace and I'm sure you just met Queen. This is Jack." He gestured to the woman. "And this is Rose." He gestured to the girl. "We call ourselves the Blackjacks. We travel around the cities, providing underground entertainment for people who are oppressed on the surface by Lawrence and his evil regime. We want to leave Diament and we have a feeling you want to get out just as much as we do. So we've talked amongst ourselves and we feel it would be strategically in our favor to take you with us. No harm would come to you from us and, if the enemy came after us..."

"You would use me as a hostage," I replied.

"Drastic measures sometimes need to be taken in order to keep to the greater good," King said with a sigh. "Anyway, we have packed and we'll be moving on to Rubis soon. However, I need to figure out, before we leave, how capable you are. You didn't exactly help your case when you burst running into us like a frenzied madman." I looked down in shame as he said this. "Anyone could've followed you and found us. What had you so distraught that you would take leave of your senses?"

I looked at King, the sadness etched on my face. "My father... I knew what he did, but never before had I seen it. It was my first time witnessing it and I..." I suddenly felt sick all over again, nausea threatening to break past. When I was able to quell it down, I continued. "King... how many people have you seen killed? How are you able to keep going when everything is against you? How do you go on knowing that those in power want you dead?"

Everyone just stared at King, the latter of which stared at me as if trying to decipher what I was saying. He nodded and spoke. "My father was a wealthy man. We came down here on vacation, to take in the lovely sights of Laterre that we had heard so much about. But when it was discovered that I was gay, the fact that we were tourists did not matter. Lawrence came and stole my father's life. He would've taken mine had father not aided me in escaping. From there, he seized my father's assets, money, and anything that used to belong to him. As wealthy as he was, however, my father was not highly important to the crown, so England would not be tempted to rise up against Laterre for one man's death. It would be unthinkable. Still, Michael, you must understand. I have seen plenty of death before back home. This place isn't much different except for the fact that the hunters have a purpose while, in England, a lot of things are chaotic and just done for the hell of it."

"I have heard of the violence in England," I replied. "It's that bad?"

"It is. Which is why I am so desensitized to it," King replied. "Now... we're set to move when the sun goes down. This'll be our last day to socialize with everyone in Diament, so everyone try to have a good time. You too, Michael. I'm sure that dancing and drinking will help you with your realization that we, as mortal beings, will die no matter what causes it. Just try to relax and have a good time; it could've been you, after all."

His words didn't do much to soothe me, but I understood what he meant. Pretty soon, people started to find this place again. When the music started, we lost ourselves to the magic and heat of the moment. Bodies ground together in undescribable ecstasy as we enjoyed what we had without worry of consequence. Drinks were poured and downed, alcohol for the old and various sodas for the young, in order to keep dancing the day away. When the sun went down, after all, it would be time for the Lavender Rose to leave. The Blackjacks would move on to another city and those stuck in Diament would have to be wary of what they did and how they did things if they wanted to escape the wrath of His Beatitude Lawrence Maurice.

Pretty soon, however, it all ended. Time really did fly when you're having fun and it was no exception here. I felt the sad atmosphere of the partygoers as they left to go home. "Jack got them all here. May they find their way back safely," Ace said with a wave of his hand at some of the other men before they left. "Well things are definently going according to plan for us."

"I was worried for a minute," I replied rather sheepishly. "This seems like a good time for everything to just go to Hell, doesn't it?"

"Nah, that shit only happens in movies," Queen said. "But let's not jynx it, otherwise King's gonna be pissed."

"Ok, everyone, take a bag. We're setting out for Rubis," King said as he held a sack behind his back, full of valuables I assumed. Other then the furniture, which was too heavy to move obviously, the decorations and storables of the Lavender Rose had been picked up and packed away. It was only a matter of making it out of the city without being seen, but King encouraged me with the belief that he had that covered. Pretty soon, we were sneaking through a secret passage in the sewers that branches off outside the city limits. King opened the grate and we all climbed out. Never before had I even left the church before yesterday, yet today I was leaving the entire city. It seemed so surreal, and yet, at the same time, I had no regrets.

"Alright. We're all good and accounted for," King replied, looking over all of us. "Well, with all the hell of Diament behind us, even with the good crowd it had, we can finally move on. The port city of Rubis awaits us. Let's not be late for the sake of the people." With those words said, we marched on towards our new destination.

[Felix Falora]

Chapter 6
I was outside of Diament at last. The world outside was beautiful. Trees were grouped together where the roads had not been constructed. Since we weren't supposed to really be leaving Diament, we had to travel through them. My father would've had a fit if he had found me outside the city, after all, and we didn't want anyone to see that I was gone. Still, I rather enjoyed travelling through the forests. The sounds of nature dominated all other sounds and it was a very peaceful, serene atmosphere, much unlike the tense, chaotic atmosphere of the city. Still, though, there was something that did bother me. King was quiet during the whole trip and, before, he had been talking to Queen. Now he was just silent, saying nothing. I looked at him and noticed what seemed to be silent despair on his face. Mustering up the courage to talk, I asked him what I had wanted to ask him before. "King, what made you lose your faith in God?"

I seriously didn't expect him to answer, but he did anyway. "Life itsself questions the existance of a divine being," King said. "Ask yourself why a supposedly benevolent diety allow all the attrocities of the world to happen. If you blame the Devil, then you're foolish. God is perfect. He can stop the Devil. If you say it's a test to get into the afterlife, then God is a cold-hearted prick. He keeps more to how he is in the Old Testament then in the New Testament if that is the case. And as for the Old Testament, let me ask you something. What do you think of the Sabbath Day. Do you think it is something you can avoid?"

"The Sabbath Day is a day of worship. But why have a special day when you must worship God every day?"

"It is one of the Ten Commandments. That's why." King's knowledge on that took me off guard. "Commandment four. Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Why do you look so surprised? Staying in Diament for all that time, one had to pick up on some theological knowledge in order to blend in. Otherwise things could've ended up really bad. Someone would've eventually realized that I was a nonbeliever and, of course, that could've caused problems. Henceforth, I did what I had to. I learned. I read the Bible. I learned some things that might've been useful to me in the long run. I at least gained some insight on the Christian religion while I did so anyway. I had nothing to lose, but a lot to gain, so why not?"

I almost felt offended. He had taken such a casual approach to learning things that changed the lives of many people before him. I should've told him that it didn't matter how much he learned if he did not have faith, that God would judge him before the end. But that'd be a waste of time with him, I knew, and having been oppressed by my father ever since he got here, I could understand where a great deal of King's anger came from. But did he have to blame God for his problems? It was so easy to blame the Almighty when bad things happened, but He was not to be blamed. Things always happened. His love for us was greater then any anger he had... right?

"Rubis is dead ahead sir," Jack said, her voice just as accented as King's. Seemed she was also British, and she definently sounded mature. Now Rose, on the other hand...

"I hope dey don't mind de intrusion," she giggled. She sounded like a little German girl. It made me question the nature of her relationship with Jack. They acted like lovers, but such a thing was more abominable then, to father, the very homosexual nature of it all. That is, of course, assuming that Rose is just a little girl. I have heard of and read about cases where some grown men and women still looked like children due to a lack of hormones in the body and, in Rose's case, she's also female, so Turner syndrome is also a possibility. It's just that it looks so weird, to see a girl who looks like a child flirting with and sitting on the shoulders of an obviously grown woman. Yet that's what Rose was doing. "Jack, vhen ve get dere, do you think ve could find some alone time for ourselves?" She better not be a mind reader or I may just feak out.

"We'll see, my precious Rose," Jack said with a chuckle. It must've had something to do with hormones because nobody said anything that hinted towards pedophilia. Still, curiosity killed the cat about a hundred different times before he learned his lesson. I didn't want to just think that she was a child and I needed to talk about something on the way towards Rubis, so I decided to try and figure that out.

"Rose, I hate to be offensive, but there's something I want to ask..."

"If you think it vill be offensive, den don't ask." Rose spoke with great authority in her tone and I immediately shut up upon hearing it. That answered my unspoken question almost instantly. She had to be older then she looked. Otherwise she wouldn't have had such a dominative tone to use on me. After having put me back in my place, she then turned to look at the city and grinned. "Rubis... looks nice as ever, right Jack?"

"That it does," she replied. I looked to see what they were talking about and I noticed a nice little city built next to the water, complete with a port, docks, and the whole of Laterre's navy. It seemed sad that we had such a small navy, but that's why we tried to stay out of wars. We were more into fishing then actual naval warfare. Now if Britain had colonized Laterre, we might've gotten somewhere on that front, but France wasn't the country known for its amazing fleet of ships, now was it? Regardless, I must say that it actually looked beautiful, which is probably why it was more popular concerning regular tourists then Diament itsself. A lot of Catholics came to Diament to pray at the Church of Saint John and listen to father's sermons and what not, most likely learning that the enemies of God had to be killed as well. But those that had not taken up God or just didn't care enough about the church tended to like Rubis more. Saphir and Emeraude were also pretty popular. Maybe, on my journey with the Blackjacks, I would visit them one day as well.

"We're more open in Rubis then in Diament," Queen said to me as we walked on the streets. "We don't parade around as gay, sure, but the people who know us know that once we've arrived, the party's on." Sure enough, as we passed by some folks, they looked at us with some sort of positive emotion in their eyes. I guess they were really happy to know that the people who not only were like them, but chose to take up a profession celebrating how they were, were finally back in town to help them have a good time without fear of consequences.

"So where do you guys set up when it comes to Rubis?" I asked, curious as to where we'd be holing up now.

"There's an abandoned storage building near the port. We use that. The sailors don't mind; they think the place is haunted or something like that," King said. "It's funny 'cause we've never had any issues with ghosts there in all the times we've been, but they keep clinging to superstition. Then again, we believe in ghosts as much as we believe in God, so perhaps that has something to do with it." Even with him saying that, I no longer felt as at ease as I did without the knowledge that we were about to enter a haunted building. My sister said that sometimes demons possessed the buildings, which is why people called them haunted. What if the same were true in this werehouse's case? King and his gang may not believe in the supernatural or anything even remotely spiritual, but I still do, which is why I want to be careful. If someone gets hurt due to lack of caution, I'd hate to think about how any of them would take it.

Chapter 7
Rubis has been lots of fun. Nobody knows who I am due to father keeping my identity a secret. I don't know why; I guess his paranoia caused him to perceive some outside force as an enemy. Maybe he thought Aetheists would come out of nowhere and assassinate me, the way he talks about them, how every murderer has forsaken God to kill his children. I don't know. The way he says it makes him seem like a hypocrite. Besides having let Jacquelyn anywhere near his private militia, much less making one at all, father has always enjoyed "purging Laterre of sinners" as he so puts it. Anna told me that a true soldier of God would not enjoy defeating the enemy, but instead pray for them, that God may forgive them in death and take their souls back into his loving embrace. The ritual that Dad performed wasn't a ritual of love, but rather one of hatred, anger, and wrath.

The warehouse had carried furniture for us to use. King may've used this building before coming to Diament though, so I guess there's nothing to worry about on that front. Naturally the parties were more night oriented, when people usually came out to have fun. There wasn't much activity from the Crusader's front, so people were easily able to elude patrols and the like in order to get where they wanted to go. The Lavender Rose was open for business in Rubus and business was good. Men and women came to enjoy themselves just like back in Diament, only this time there was more room to the point where lovers actually had the right to reserve private rooms for themselves. At this point, I figure you all will fill in the imagery on your own and spare me the trouble of going into description as to what the rooms are for, specifically why they are private.

Nevertheless, things were pretty nice. I figured that nothing could go wrong at times like this, but I guess I should've known better. Pretty soon I wasn't allowed to leave. For a week now I had been walking about the town of Rubis like a regular civilian, but then I was confined to the warehouse. I didn't know why for a while until King finally filled me in. My dissapearence did not fit with my father obviously. Now he has the Crusaders looking out for me as well as wanted posters proclaiming a reward upon my return. It was like I was some sort of escaped prisoner and now the police were after me or, more realistically speaking, I was a kidnapped prince whose father was worried about his safebeing and demanded justice upon the infidels that dared to take him away. Whatever situation one would think more evident towards my current predicament, the result is plainly obvious. I am fucked if I leave the Lavender Rose, but if the Crusaders find the Lavender Rose, along with me, then Ace and the others will die. There's no percentages of survival for them; my father will have them killed and, as of right now, they look like bad guys well deserving of death with me having come along.

"But, to be fair, if ve had left you back dere, your father vould've found out und killed you anyvay, so does it really matter?" Rose presented that answer to my voiced concerns on the matter, showing her wisdom of age and proving that she only looks like a schoolgirl. It's true that, sooner or later, I will have to come to grip with my identity as a homosexual to my obviously fanatically devout father. That can only go as well as a blind men leading others... oh wait...

Matthew 15:14. "Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch." Such a simple quote and yet it conveys so much. Fools lead fools all the time, but all that can come of it in the end is ignorance and failure. In a way, King is a fool leading other fools. No one else but me has faith in the Lord in this group and it is said that the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. I feel that saying is finished with "and lack of faith" to drive the point across. One cannot get by without holy guidance, so to purposefully deny it is heavilly foolish. But I guess those that do not believe will never understand. After all, choosing to forsake God is just that. A choice that you are allowed to make because He gave you the right to do so.

I asked Rose what she thought about faith. "It's a vasted effort," she answered, much to my disdain. I thought that, as wise as she was, she'd understand me. She seemed to be on King's side for the most part, however, and just echoed his half-given reasons on why she did not think God was real. I guess nonbelievers really don't understand. Well I would say that now, but when I asked Jack about it, she answered me with sincerity and honesty.

"A few years ago, I used to be as faithful as you are now. I followed God, I read the Bible, and I tried to get all of my friends to understand His love. Then I met Rose. Things between us were tense at first due to my love for God, but I eventually learned to love her despite her disbelief. That was when I believed, however, for I met Rose's family and witnessed the Crusaders murder them. A woman named Jacquelyn carried out the executions." Somehow I figured it would come back to that bitch. "She tied Rose's parents together. Made Rose watch as she doused them in gasoline and then set them on fire. Made Rose take in the scent of burning flesh and charred remains. I was there too, in hiding, but I was able to look out and personally bear witness to that attrocity. It was in their wishes that I saved Rose, protect her from whatever dangers lurk in the world, so that she does not have to join her family so quickly. When they died, I felt like a part of me had died as well. So I renounced the faith. I believe in a deity, but not in your Catholic deity. I think he's just too worried about what people think of him versus what is actually going on in the world. Now that I've satiated your curiosity..."

I never thought of any of that way. How many of the Blackjacks had lost their family to my father's Crusaders? How many lives had been lost beyond the few I had heard about or the two I had seen? Just how much death and destruction raged on in Laterre behind my back. I had no idea of the bloodied dynasty that my father was creating for the Church of Saint John, but the way he was creating it placed a very bad reputation on not just the church, but Catholicism itsself. If something wasn't done, God himself would face more resistance then he's already facing.

"The Crusaders are rather anxious to find you," Ace told me with a chuckle. "Guess daddy misses his little bloke, eh? He wouldn't be so forgiving if he learned you were a cocksucker. Shame the man can't see past his own ego. If he could, we wouldn't have to fight him."

"Why do you have to fight him though?" I asked. "Do you just want to or do you actually feel like you have to? Is it truely passion or is it folly?"

"Michael, let me tell you now. If I wasn't passionate about it, I wouldn't waste my time on it. There are so many other things I could be doing with my life then risking it to help people get enjoyment. But I continued to risk my life anyway because our freedom is not just worth fighting for, but it's also worth dying for. That's how I believe and I don't expect you to believe the same way, even though you seem to believe that King and I need to convert on the spot. I'm sure you'll see why we're this way soon enough, but until then, you have to understand that we're not criminals. We're not even your enemies. We just want to have a good time with our life, not waste it preparing for another one.

One could argue that they've made a very valid point. Free life was only so limited, after all. You only get one and that's the end of things. It worked that way, but there must be something else to it as well. It just didn't seem to fit together exactly like that. If it did, it would seem like some sort of easy copout. Well, with the way things have been progressing after all, I guess that's for the best. I can ony hope that I break through to someone in the end. Maybe then I can be who I am without having to live in fear of it. But that day was far off. It'd only be achievable with father's death.

Do I really want that to happen though? Am I betting on the cruel possibility, or maybe even the cruel knowledge, that my father has to die in order for there to be any peace in Laterre at all?

Chapter 8
I found her. She was here this whole time. She had come to the Lavender Rose, not to turn us in to the Crusaders, but to try and convince people that they did not need to decline the faith just because of their sexual orientation. The people laughed at her, of course. They had been convinced by father that faith was useless, that it would only lead to a horrible dictatorship and that people would become hurt thanks to it. However, no one tried to assault her. Whether it was because they didn't think she was worth hurting since all she was doing was talking instead of what the Crusaders would do or if it was what I thought it was, I cannot say. After all, one cannot truely question whether something is the work of God or not when they're not supposed to understand it. Yet we judge it as the work of God either way. I wonder why that is.

"It's not a disease. It's not something you should be hunted for. But it is a sin. Do not take this to mean that you cannot be saved. God loves you all. It is his will that brought you into the world and, yes, it is his will that you were brought into the world with the temptation to love the same sex. It is your task, given to you by God, to challenge that temptation, to perservere and find love with the other sex or serve him directly in chastity and celibacy. Throw away your desires for physical pleasure and seek the love of God for He is the one and almighty Lord."

"Lady, it's nice to see someone that's not breathing down our necks with guns pointed at us, trying to do us in over how we are when we cannot help it. I really cannot thank you enough for helping to restore some of my faith in humanity, especially the Catholic population in Laterre. However, your words fall upon deaf ears. Though you may be someone who does God's work the right way, most of us have already seen it done Lawrence's way. We've had entire families cut apart by his men and they prayed for those we loved to go back to Hell. Do you really think we can ever look at God the same way again, now that we see just how sick and twisted some of his servents are?" King's words echoed the thoughts of many of the individuals there. She sighed, looking him in the eyes. It was that same serious stare I always used to get back home. Anna would look into your soul, not to judge you, but to try and reason with you in a cool, calm, collected manner.

"The ignorance of man does not pass onto the eyes of the Lord for men always aim to serve him in the wrong way. Take, for examples, the Muslims who martyr themselves thinking their deity, who they call God, will reward them for killing others in the process. Also look at the Jews, who were so apt to nail their king to a cross for the sake of the Romans, whether out of cowardice or hatred. These two groups follow the wrong words, the wrong testaments, yet they are not too late to be saved. No one is beyond salvation. Even the most wicked of men can redeem themselves in the eyes of the Lord, whose mercy and love is infinite and beyond mortal comprehension."

"Well I have quite an issue with that as well," King said. "It's true that benevolent leaders are always better then malevolent ones, but assuming that to be true about God, then he would as easily forgive the most heinous of offenders alongside those who commit minor crimes. Listen lady, we're all just a bunch of nonbelievers or homosexuals around here. Not much to think about and perhaps God would forgive us if we turned to him. But what about those who kill others? What about rapists and child molestors? How about traitors and those who commit treason?"

"If they truely regret what they do and find it in their heart to turn to God, then they may be forgiven, yes," Anna said with sudden venom in her voice. "Don't assume that you can just pray for forgiveness, however, and be forgiven. If someone commits an attrocity and asks for forgiveness only for the sake of thinking they can avoid Hell, then they are fools who will burn with those who have no regret. However, those who regret what they do may be saved because they were taken by the Devil and they have realized it."

"Even then, I'd hate to be in either Heaven or Hell. Both sides will be full of people who have committed great attrocities. That sounds rather stupid from a logical point of view though, don't you think? But all humans commit attrocities of some kind. It is in our nature to 'sin' and, as a result, how can we be eligable for God if we are pressured by him to be perfect?" I didn't like King's tone of voice here, though. He sounded too condescending, too insulting. He was mocking Anna and she was not apt to take it well.

"You, sir, forget that God also has the love and mercy to forgive you for your sins. When you come to your senses, you may seek me out. All of you are welcome in God's loving embrace. But I cannot force you; you must seek it on your own." After having spoken such dialogue, Anna turned and left. Everybody turned and continued to what they were doing, but I managed to sneak out during the confusion in order to follow. She walked slowly, confidently, and I couldn't help but idolize her for it, wishing I could be as brave to speak such words as she was. Someone had to tell them. If only they would listen.

"Anna!" I don't know what possessed me to call her name in such a fashion, but she stopped. A few seconds passed of stillness and then her head turned slowly. I expected her to look as confident and strong as ever, but her reaction took me off guard. It was surprised, taken aback, yet also happy in a sort of quiet manner I cannot even begin to describe. "Anna, it's me."

"Michael." Her voice came out now as a breath rather then the strong, dominative tone she held when trying to talk sense into King and the others back at the Lavender Rose. "So the rumors were true. You really have left Diament. The people say you were captured, yet... did you leave in search of me?"

"In a way," I replied. "I didn't really have the idea of looking for you when I left though, I... I just wanted to escape father and his... his lunacy. You had left so easily, but I had been afraid of leaving. However, when I saw what he had intended for me, I couldn't stay. I had to leave."

"He was trying to teach you to execute others, wasn't he?" Anna asked. At my shock, she sighed. "He tried to teach me the same thing. He showed me two men. They were trapped in a celler. I was weak, unable to do anything. He pinned them down, cut their throats, and let them bleed slowly and painfully to death. The sight left me sleepless. On some nights, it still does. But I heard the voice of God during my suffering and He told me not to cry. He gave me strength. He helped me stand back on my feet. But it goes just beyond Him helping me regain my senses. I've always wanted to spread His faith. I've always wanted others to understand that He is good. It felt more like I needed others to understand that, though, and I've often found myself wondering if that was more out of selfishness then true love for Him. But there is one thing I have never questioned, no matter what my father has tried to teach me, and it is that murder is wrong. What our father has done is absolutely disgusting and deplorable, but we must not hate him for it. It is not our place to act, but His."

"Romans 12:19-21. 'Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.' No matter how our anger grows, we must not let it consume us and become likes the demons of Hell, but rather love our enemies as we love our neighbors."

"You've read more then what father aimed to teach you." Anna smiled. "I am happy to hear that. Perhaps, with you by my side, we can change Laterre the way God intended us to change it. And even if we cannot change the country itsself, we can still spread the word of God throughout its land, for Christ himself said that so long as he saved one soul with his words and teachings, his life and living was not in vain."

"Anna, I'd love to come with you. I really would." I looked away, feeling humiliated, but I knew I had to tell her someday and she, of all people, would not hate me for it. "But I cannot. Anna, I am as wicked as any of the ones there you had rebuked."

"There? The Lavender Rose? You were there?"

"Anna, they were the ones who helped me get out of Diament. I travelled with them because they are like me. Never have I lost my faith in God, but even then I cannot lie about who I am. Anna, I am a homosexual. I am of the same blood as those people who father so adamently seeks to destroy."

This caused a silence between us. I saw the emotions raging in Anna's eyes, however. She looked hurt and I knew instantly that this was a mistake. Shock had pierced those usually strong, serious eyes. However, she managed to compose herself. "I see... so you are gay. But that means nothing. It is like I said. Being gay does not mean you must reject the faith. But you must overcome your lust. You must fight back against the temptation to fornicate, to participate in intercourse without intent of reproduction. I cannot say I understand a homosexual entirely, for I am not of that blood or kind, but Michael, do not think of me as a hypocrite for I intend to fully devote my life to God and live in celibacy. I would hope you could join me, spread the word of God on with me."

"Anna, I would love to, but I owe them for saving me. I cannot leave them before I have helped save them. Surely you must understand that. It is as you said. So long as we can save one soul, our lives were not in vain. I want to change them and help them see the faith again. I am hoping my presence there will effect something, but if not, I can at least say I've tried. What I do not want to do is give up on them and leave them to eternal damnation."

There was another shared silence between us. This one, however, was much shorter, and ended on her smiling at me before turning away. "You have a strong heart and great intentions, Michael. If anyone can convince strong-hearted nonbelievers into returning to the faith, maybe it will be you."

"Sister, I have not forgotten the quote from 1 Corinthians 9:19-23. 'For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servent unto all, that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; to them that are without law, as without law, that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some. And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.'"

"So you will be gay in order to win the gays as Christ became all manner of things in order to win all manner of men. I see. And you do this because you feel indebted to them, because they helped you escape our father's tyranny. In that case, I shall not seperate you from them. They need you. They deserve you. The world deserves you and men like you, men who are not afraid to be compassionate for the sake of others over their own sake. But Michael, I implore and beg of you to never forget what I have said here. Do not give into temptation. Remain holy thoughout your stay and do not lose yourself to corruption. God is watching. Do His work, oh great servent amongst men." After having said that, I watched my sister depart into the city and, with a sad sigh to be seperated from her so soon, I turned to walk back to the Lavender Rose, so as not to bring them trouble in the event that the Crusaders were to patrol down this path.

Chapter 9
"So that's your sister, huh?" Ace had been there to greet me when I came back. He had seen me walk out, but didn't think to tell the others anything. He figured I was smart enough to take care of myself and I rewarded him for letting me speak to my sister with the knowledge that she was indeed part of my family. "She left because she couldn't stand the horrors her father tried to put her through. He also tried to put you through them as well, so you chose to leave with us because it felt like leaving with a traveling group of homosexual strangers was a better fate then staying with your overtly paranoid, heavilly biased father. Meanwhile, she left on her own, to teach the word of God the way she thought best to teach it. I have to say, though, she nearly scared me. I could feel some sort of unearthly power behind her. Maybe God does exist. If he does, then he comes in that woman's form."

"No. Anna is definently not God. But she serves Him and He protects her for she is His child," I replied. "But you would not know of that, I suppose, as you choose not to believe in him. She is so confident in her ability to spread His word that, instead of sending those that have joined her to preach His word, she goes herself to do it. She is a true believer. She doesn't just label herself as such in order to avoid the pits of Hell."

"You're right in saying that I cannot understand that. I do not fear Hell. I don't think there is a Hell though. Believe as you want, mate, but I'll be leaving in reality, which is, as of right now, we're out of food." I grimaced as Ace said that. Not only did he mock my belief, no matter how jokingly he meant it, (To be continued)