Back To Where It Began

[Felix Falora]

(Song describing this moment
www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoEMaWrQBQM
A song of sadness, an aching in the heart of a regretful lonely man who threw love away and is now cursed to forever be without it.)

The snow was cold on his skin. He almost wanted to collapse. He had brought one of the village children of Bonsai back home. He was lucky the others hadn't been there. All he had to deal with was the villagers, who greeted his random act of kindness with violence. His clothes were ripped apart and his skin was showing signs of frostbite. One may've thought that nobody deserved that kind of pain, but if they saw him, they'd be forced to change their opinion simply because their minds would be muddled at the divine curse placed upon him by the powers that be.

He fell to his knees and laid there in the snow. There was a heavy storm blowing in. His eyes seemed to glaze over and he thought he could see someone approaching him.

*Oh dear! ... still alive... can you hear me? Are you alright?

"Edward?" He began to feel dejavu... and then it hit him. "Even the mountain itsself mocks me with illusions of my beloved... must I ache more?" He chuckles softly, but it is a broken chuckle. "This is... where we..."

**I... I was...

Assaulted... assaulted by... by...

"There was so much wrong with that meeting. I'm surprised anything ever came out of it." Felix reached up, his hand closing softly, acting as if he was tenderly grasping someone's hand, a hand that was helping to pull his battered, torn, frostbitten body off of the snowy floor. Nothing was there, of course. "We were born out of a tragedy... it's only natural it was destined to end in a tragedy, isn't it? And we were born so quickly after the last tragedy... that girl... I can no longer remember her name... She's probably dead by now, but it no longer matters. Perhaps she could sense this future breakdown in me. Maybe that's why..."

***I hate you! I hate everything about you! Go away and leave me alone! I wish you would just die!

"It wasn't that long ago, was it... but it feels like an eternity... Everything's flashing before my eyes... Am I going to die out here? Alone... cold... unwanted... condemned?"

The snow blew all around him, coating him in the cold, white blanket. Then a hand actually took his and pulled him out of the snow. There was a cleaning light and Felix felt rejuvenated, renewed. He looked around, but could find no one in the snow. His skin was healed and he was wearing warmer clothes. "I thought you weren't going to help me... did you expect me not to nearly die?" Felix chuckled, unaware of the plan that was being set in motion. He continued to trek the snowy mountain, moving further upwards.

****Everything about you was a mistake, brother. You are the weakest link, impure, unimportant. You reflect all that is good in this vile, accursed world as I reflect all that is evil.

But remember this, brother. Neither can live without the other and both can be changed. But it is always easier to corrupt the faithful then it is to convert the heathens.

Madness is more tempting then serenity. Even if you feel it should be the other way around, that is human nature.

* Edd upon first seeing Felix being battered and raped by Masahiro.

** Felix answering Edd when asked what happened to him.

*** Good deceiving Felix into thinking she hated him; he never learned she didn't.

**** Leon, in a flashback that I totally pulled out of my ass and wasn't introduced in any thread.

[Firebreath Fishslap]

"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?"

Felix would not know the woman standing before him. Once upon a time, he would have been able to note that she looked similar to Tree, but she looked entirely different now. Her overly long scarf billowed out in the wind, but it was the only article of clothing that she wore that looked like it was appropriate for the weather she was in.

"You have fallen, yet your God continues to grant his mercy. Why did you even fall at all if he still continues to do so? Does he have no anger toward you? Why keep your wings black, then? Why fall in the first place?"

She stood in Felix's path so that he could not continue on. There was a smirk on her face the whole time she spoke.

"You've driven away everyone you love, have been cursed so that no one will aid you, and you continue to trek on through this snow. Why do you continue like this?

"Why have you not given up?" Infinity Lemniscate asked.

[Felix Falora]

(Music Fitting For The Scene
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDrciJ2lVYY
I don't know. Something about this song fit Felix's situation when I heard it. Maybe it's all in the name.)

The voice was a rather unwelcome intrusion on his trekking. His eyes wandered over the woman. He did not really remember Tree much at all, so he was unable to make the comparison. Even so, however, he did know this was someone he didn't know. Considering how cold it was, he was a little surprised she wasn't freezing with the clothing she was wearing. Only the scarf looked like it was in place, but it only really served to enhance her appearence then provide her protection from the harsh elements.

He ignored her questions, questioning why God kept granting him mercy. He didn't know either. He had been told he would receive no more help. He tried to move on, but she blocked his path, continuing to question his intentions. What nerve she had to stand there, questioning his curse and what he was going through and why did she continue speaking when nothing about this had anything to do with her and he just wanted to rip her apart like the worthless mongrol she was acting like, the useless...

It was in that moment of inner thought and heated rage that he realized this sort of emotion was what led to him throwing his beloved away in the first place. It was unlike him. It wasn't supposed to be him. For him, who had been intentioned to be the very embodiment of good, this sort of negativity was harsher then on a regular human being. It all made sense to him then and the anger vanished as quickly as it had come. His face returned to being blank and emotionless as he looked at the female questioning his tenacity.

"I don't know what His plans are. I don't claim to be all-knowing, all-loving, or all-seeing. I'm not even fit to call myself a human being at the moment, much less an angel, now am I? But I'm pretty sure I don't have to explain it to you, someone I don't even know. Since there's no one in the universe who loves me as of right now, the only person I can effect with my actions is myself. It's a path of self-redemption, to learn that I'm not the only one who matters. As long as I earn the right to be loved again, I can start over. I'm not that stupid. I know I can never be with him again for what I've done, so I'll have to make due with a new slate. That is all."

[Firebreath Fishslap]

"That's not true."

Infi took a few steps toward Felix, and though her smirk had dropped, there was something like mirth in her eyes.

"You're right. No one loves you. But your actions will still affect others." She scoffed. "And what really is love? An emotion created by your God to turn others against each other, that's what it is. You want the right to be loved again, but look at your past. Look at everything that's happened. What has love done but cause you more pain?

"Look at everything that has happened. Your omniscient, all-powerful god allowed you to gain the powers of the Apocalypse Angel, even knowing that you would eventually go insane from its power. Does that sound like the actions of a kind God? He either made a mistake, or He is relishing your suffering. And if you ask me, it is the latter. He doesn't want you to start over. He wants to watch you forever be tortured."

She held her hand out. "I can take away your pain, Felix Falora."

[Felix Falora]

Felix's lips curled again. Why didn't this woman know when to shut up? Just what was it she was trying to convince him of? Who was she? What did she want? Why was she blocking his path, standing her and spouting this rhetorical, useless advice that wasn't going to help anyone and anything and why wouldn't she just shut up, what was the point of all of this time-wasting in the cold?!

Shaking off his anger, he just stared at her as she spoke. Every word that came out of her mouth was blasphemy, complete and utter disrespect. In some way, however, it made sense. What was the point of taking away the right to be loved and cared for? Why did he have to suffer so? Did God just enjoy his torture, enjoy watching him in pain? He wanted it to end, but no one would help him.

Wait a minute...

As she held her hand out, he drew back slowly. "You're not supposed to be offering such a thing," he said. "Absolutely no one is supposed to want to help me. Are you trying to trick me? What are you really after?"

[Firebreath Fishslap]

Well, it seemed the angel had some brains after all. Infi lowered her hand as Felix drew back, and finally her smile dropped a tiny bit. Only enough that it didn't look like she was gaining some kind of amusement out of his situation.

"You're right. No one ever helps another person without gaining something in return," Infi agreed. "Everyone has some kind of ulterior motive. And I, as an intelligence granted with human-like emotions, am no different. As are you, Falora.

"You wish for me to explain your intentions, so I will be entirely honest with you. In return, you must promise not to lie to me as well," Infi said. She didn't wait for Felix to respond before she began. "I wish to make you from a God-born angel into a data being like myself. You possess great power, Falora, and with my power to neutralize objects into data, I could make you into something more... free. Your power could help sustain the people I wish to bring into this world, and should you wish, I could free you from those painful memories of your prior life.

"You would no longer be bound by your curse, as well. Your God's curse can only manipulate those he created. God created even the devils, but he didn't create data beings. We are a creation of the minds of mankind alone. And this is why I can offer to help you."

[Felix Falora]

Felix saw her smile drop. It was subtle, supposedly barely noticable, but he had seen it. That meant he had broken past her illusion of friendliness. He had known from the start that it had to be a trick of sorts. The curse had explicitly been stated as people hating him no matter what he did. Women screamed when he saved their children, assaulting him or calling their husbands to do so. Men glared, spat insults, or attacked without reason. It wasn't just hatred to Felix. It was a literal desire to see him die, a world that wanted him to stop existing. Such a world would drive a normal being mad, but Felix had already been driven mad. It wouldn't work against him twice.

Thus she explained herself. She wanted him to be honest, but he generally was that, to the point where he was downright blunt. However, all he could be at this moment was confused. For starters, he had to wonder what a data being was. She said she could turn him into one, but what did that mean? And then she went on to say that she could free him from God's curse, even erase the memories of his painful past. That seemed too good to be true and, at the same time, it was even further blasphemy. She was willing to undo the Lord's work in order to bring people into the world. It seemed like a steal, but he wasn't buying it.

He did not choose to question her on the issue of finding herself superior to his Lord, however. Plenty were coming to do that. Some seemed to find themselves on par. No, what really bugged him was what she wanted from him. His power would help sustain the people she wanted to bring into the world, she had said. What people? He had to know. "Though your offer is genuinely tempting, I cannot deny, I have to wonder why you've chosen me over those of less inquisitive design. For starters, I do not exactly know what a data being is, what it constitutes. Then there's the matter of these people you want to use my power to help sustain... who are these people?"

[Firebreath Fishslap]

Infi gave a chuckle as Felix brought up "those of less inquisitive design". She didn't like idiots. So of course she'd want someone who would question. That was perhaps a flaw of hers... wanting to work with people who would be able to question her plans... people who could know to get out should things go bad.

"A data being is just that: a being made from data and electrical impulses. Outwardly, they're human. Human organs, human bodies... but in truth their body does not have traditional DNA. They have zeroes and ones to connect their body. Because of this, they're simultaneously more fragile and more durable than normal beings." She ran a hand along the markings on her face. "These markings represent the inherent instability in those of us who come to this world. The more markings you have, the more unstable you are. It's a weakness of sorts. Should we be cut along these markings, we'll come completely undone.

"As for where they come from, they are the inhabitants of what your kind call the Internet. Every data being was born from a human mind. I am no different, though I've since shed my original form and become something new... something unconnected to that human mind. They are representations of concepts, of personas taken on in chatrooms, of anything you can imagine," Infi continued on. "Their powers vary wildly. The powers they have are often linked to what they were born from. One girl I created was born from the concept of Vocaloid. She has the power to use her voice as a weapon.

"They are my people... and I want them to be free. To have an existence that cannot be easily erased. I've tried bringing them into the world myself using my newfound power, but I'm just not strong enough... which is why I need you."

[Felix Falora]

He heard the chuckle and wondered what she was amused by. Did she know what it was he asked then. Was she amused by the fact that he was questioning her desire for someone who would know to leave in the event that what she was asking was against their beliefs? It made no sense to him to begin with, yet as she began to explain herself, he began to realize what she was looking for. She was created from data, yet she had managed to become something furter then just data. Normal data beings had weaknesses more apparant then those of the mortal coil. Yet due to their inherent creation and their origin, they probably desired more intellectual counterparts, partners, as opposed to lackeys who would simply bow to their every whim and command.

She wanted Felix to become a data being so that they could come into the world, more durable and resistant to their weaknesses, as opposed to coming in like normal data beings with weaknesses still unstable and apparant. That was how the fallen angel saw it at least, but his mental connection to his deity made it harder for him to just outright deny him. He had to know all the facts. He didn't want to go in believing that he was doing what Shinichi had done before him. "These people of yours... what personas do they truely carry? I don't just want to know what I'd be bringing into the world, but who... I could not risk bringing in those who wish to destroy and kill like others before me."

[Firebreath Fishslap]

(OOC: We need to stop taking entire months to post in this thread jesus christ)

"They hold all personalities, and are as varied as the humans of this world. Of course a few bad eggs will slip through, but you cannot predict if a being will be evil before it is born. It is the experiences that shape its life that will make it good or evil," Infi said. "These beings will be like newborns in the world, and I will take them under my wings until they are adjusted enough to this world."

[Felix Falora]

She answered honestly, as he predicted she would. Her words held more truth then he had expected, however. He had thought she would tell a half-truth, saying some would be good. He did not expect her to outright admit that she could not control whether they would be good or not, but only help bring them into the world so that they may learn to live. They had their weaknesses... and so did Felix. If the others need to bring them down, so be it, but for those that are not evil, they deserve this chance... and I want my freedom. I'm tired of being tied down by my angelicism. Maybe, if I abandon it, I will lose my insanity.

"This deal of yours..." Felix's eyes shifted around. There was no escaping His eyes, and this decision would no doubt scorn and anger him, but he decided to go against his curse anyway. "I will accept it. I'll bring your people into this world if you will free me from my burden."

You may free yourself from your current burden, Felix.

But you may never free yourself from your destiny.

(Last two lines are thought by "The Nameless," as he will now be known until I come up with a good name for him, and unheard by anyone.)

[Firebreath Fishslap]

Infi nodded silently, and reached out her hand once more. The red lines on her gloves had begun to glow, and red binary floated from the tips of her fingers.

"I have to warn you... I've never done this on a living being before," Infi said honestly. "I'm sure you'll be fine, but it's just fair to warn you before I start."

((OOC: I'm gonna leave Felix's appearance after getting data being-fied to you. Here's some examples of how some other data beings look:
img232.imageshack.us/img232/9424/digitaldivacopy.png
i55.tinypic.com/2n1f7te.jpg ))

[Felix Falora]

(Oh hey, looks just like people from .hack G.U. Works for me!)

Felix watched as her hand reached out towards him. Now knowing what was happen, he did not move as red binary seemed to move to her fingers.

"I'm fine," he replied. "It's either change and cure me or it won't. If I die, I die. I don't have much else to lose, so let's see how this works."

[Firebreath Fishslap]

Infi nodded, and she grasped Felix's hand. The red binary moved from Infi's hand into Felix's, and red lines began to spread out from where she grasped him. She winced, and for a moment it looked like she was going to pull away from Felix. Trying to neutralize him was causing a greater drain on her energy than she'd expected.

After a few more moments had passed, Infi pulled away. She'd done all she could, now she just had to watch and see if the neutralization had worked...

[Felix Falora]

He looked at himself after the neutrilization. Huh... nothing's happening. I guess she couldn't do anything after all. With a sigh, he gave a light shrug. "Well I expected as much. After all, His word..."

He was silenced immediately by a sudden influx of pain, eyes widening as his body began to burn, the effects of Infi's work taking hold as what appeared to be numbers floated around him. Even as his body began to cleanse itsself of the former magics it held, his power remained and manifested itsself in binary details streaming around him as body began to change. His body, having been made manifest as bulky from the falling, returned to its slender, sleek frame, only it looked more slim that even before, almost as if a perfect model. His hair seemed to lighten, the color draining away until a jet black became a more silver chrome. Markings began to spread across his body, trailing and spiraling up his legs and through the more higher regions until it seemed to cross around his lower torso and lock across him like a belt. Two lines trailed up either side of his chest, moving down his shoulders and spiraling across his arms until they hit the backs of his hands, branching out across each of his fingers. To his face, it moved up his chin to his lips, then crossed to the middle of his cheeks before reaching his eyes, rounding about them in a glasses-like fashion and meeting at the middle. From each side, they finally connected to the top of his head and became lost in his hair. The lines were of a sky blue color, deep and easily identifiable across his skin.

The biggest change, however, came in his wings. Hunched over like a madman, he could feel the pain of each of his feathers seemingly solidifying in a metal casing, the bones with them also turning into a fine steel alloy. One by one they turned, causing him to eventually fall to his knees. Despite this, however, when at last they finished, a quicker process that he had perceived it, they flapped as if normal, though with more robotic like movements. The change over, his body stopped shuddering and he panted, wondering if something like this had ever happened to anyone else who had become a data being or if it was because of his powers fighting the change, now being assimiliated within it.

My Lord... he has broken your curse. Shall we execute him like the dog he is?

No... his fate is still unescapable... all this means is that history shall remember him as a coward that ran from his troubles instead of as the selfless hero they required in their time of darkness.