FF SPORKS "Meet Again, My King"

[Firebreath Fishslap]

(Crossposting from Exterminate Sues.)



What.



Whaaaaaaaaat.



what the fuck is this

hikariangel85.deviantart.com/

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I'm back again with a terrible comic. This time we have a Pokemon doujinshi for the ever popular Ferriswheelshipping, or N/White, ship.

The doujin is... bad. The art is a bastardized attempt at the anime's style, and "attempt" is really the only way to put it. The facial structures and anatomy are all over the place, and the way the characters move is very wooden. Despite the fact that the doujin's supposed to be about N, the artist very clearly has no idea how to draw him.

The dialogue and plot are just as bad as the art. The dialogue is apparently translated from Italian, but whoever the translator is didn't really do a very good job at it. The panel and speech bubble placements are terrible, and it's very easy to get confused as to which way you're even supposed to be reading a page.

So what do you guys think? Should I spork this? I gave up not very far into Plobs, but that comic was really the worst of the worst, and while this one is bad, it's not quite in Plobs territory.

[Firebreath Fishslap]

Jun 20, 2011 21:41:56 GMT -5 @veggirl said:

From what I got, rape is A-OK and you should continue on with a relationship with your rapist because it's "TWU LUV".

So basically, the plot of Twilight, but with Pokemon instead of pixies.

Let's get started with this train wreck!


The cover page of this thing, which you've already seen once now. Sadly enough, this is probably the best drawn image in the entire doujin. White looks pretty okay, but N is still derptacular. All of the hands are really weird looking, too.


Oh yeah, I forgot to mention this doujin uses the Japanese names for everything. I'm not sure why, considering the games had already been out stateside for a long time by the time this started...
Touko = White/Hilda, obviously enough.

Ahaha what is going on with White's mom's face in that first panel.

The most obvious thing on this page starting off is the weird speech bubble placements. In the first panel, White's mom's speech is placed all the way at the bottom of the panel so that White isn't obstructed by it, but the placement makes the bubble feel unneeded and easy to miss.

The panel layout is also rather confusing. Get used to that, as the author has no idea how to lay out a comic page.


MORE CONFUSING AS HELL PANEL LAYOUTS.

So a magical aurora appears outside White's house, she goes to sleep, hears someone calling for help, ends up in Lunatea... no wait, that's a different game. NEVER MIND.

White's legs are way too short in that full body panel. Seriously, dat anatomy.
And dat menger sponge while we're at it. LEARN TO DRAW CUBES.


I'm seriously not going to bother trying to point out the anatomy fails in this page. They're pretty obvious.

Blah blah wakes up from dream N's misshapen cube is magically there NEXT


I just tried holding a Rubik's cube the same way White is holding the menger sponge in that first panel and there is no way you could do that without hurting yourself.

Also goddammit make up your mind on whether you want us to read this right to left or left to right.


So White monologues a while wondering if N's in danger or not until...

JESUS CHRIST IT'S A MUNNA GET IN THE POKEBALL

White then makes a particularly derptacular face and starts running away in a derptacular way.

Will White manage to get away from the wild murderous Munna? Is N a rapist? All these questions and more will be answered in our next installment.

And remember kids! Learn to draw cubes.

[Firebreath Fishslap]

Ah, damn, it just wanted to be friends. I was hoping it was going to eat her face.

So Bianca and Cheren just happened to meet at the Pokemon Center, eh...? Something tells me there was a bit more going on there, eh? Eh?

And wooo more japanese names out the wazoo. For future reference
Sanyou City = Striaton City
Makomo = Fennel
Belle = Bianca

Speaking of Belle, why the hell is she called Belle and not Bel? The meaning behind her name gets completely lost if you do that--
Right. Shitty doujin. Moving on.


how the fuck are you supposed to read this

Seriously, that first panel looks like it comes after the second panel but everything else reads left to right and the dialogue is just so bad and kill me now

At least she calls it a fucking Menger Sponge.

The dialogue on this page makes me cry. The tenses are are all over the place and for some reason Cheren keeps saying "what an idiocy".

N could be everywhere

ಠ_ಠ
There are no words.


Oh, you thought it was just N who was a rapist? Nope, if you are a man in this doujin, the only way to show your love is through raping her.


White completely ignores Cheren's attempt to rape her and runs off to help N, while Cheren makes what's probably intended to be a sexy pose in this page's confusing layout fucking up panel.

dream dust

IT'S DREAM MIST YOU DUMBASS.

Now that every male in this doujin has been revealed to be a rapist, I think it's time to break for the moment. And remember! If someone loves you, they will always try to rape you, and you should accept it like a good girl.

[Firebreath Fishslap]

So it turns out the translations for the pages are done by a couple of different people... iheardyouliekmudkip.deviantart.com/ does the translations for the pages with the more pixelly font and sissisuzuki.deviantart.com/ does the translations for the pages with the more normal font. Definitely explains the weird quality jumps in the translation.

TIME FOR MORE SHIT.


How the fuck do you know that N was "communicating" with you through dreams? I think you just saw that cube sitting around your room and your subconscious tried to fill in the gaps.

Bianca's face does not match her dialogue. Learn to exclamation point.

And check out that fisheye look Fennel's got going on in the third panel.


Well fuck, now the flowery bastard can talk.

N is apparently trapped in the dream world. Goddamn, this is Klonoa 2.

I avoided mentioning this before, since the backgrounds were usually pretty well hidden behind the human characters, but the backgrounds are really kind of terrible. There's no sense of scale at all, and grass brushes are just kind of randomly used. It gives it a really unpolished look. And then there's the random backgrounds that are just different random brushes to give it some kind of pattern...

Also, anyone else notice that the best expressions in this are the ones where the artist ISN'T actively trying to copy Sugimori's style?


OH LOOK, MORE JAPANESE. Raimon City = Nimbasa City.

So White rides the magical Reading Rainbow to Nimbasa City and to every Ferriswheelshipper's favorite object: THE FERRIS WHEEL ITSELF.

And what's this? It's DERPTASTIC PUKE-COLOR HAIR N. GAAAAAAASP.
SO SEXY.


DECIDE WHAT WAY YOU WANT US TO READ YOUR FUCKING COMIC ALREADY.

The panel choices on this page are particularly bad, especially with those middle two panels. Flip those around so that you can see who's supposed to be talking instead of having them talking offscreen and they'd be fine.

And that one vertical panel. I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU BUT THIS IS NOT A MANGA, YOU ARE NOT JAPANESE, DO NOT DO GIANT OBNOXIOUS VERTICAL PANELS WE HAVE TO TILT OUR HEADS TO READ. THANK YOU, HAVE A NICE DAY.

Oh, right the plot. Apparently this was all a plot by the Munna. White chooses to get mad at N instead, and then gets mad at herself.

Man, this is really starting to sound like a certain romance novel protagonist.


Man, N's face keeps changing.

Also, I didn't notice it until that second panel, but this artist draws the torn parts of White's shorts really weird. The hanging parts are way too large.

Gotta love N's ultra derptastic face in that last panel. It looks like he's going to rape her.

...considering this comic's track record and that last line from him, he's probably gonna try to rape her.

[Firebreath Fishslap]

Today's installment will be a special ten page one, since I didn't update yesterday.


That last panel

That face

ahahahahaha

So N magically transforms the ferris wheel into a ballroom and sticks White in a shitty ball dress.


No seriously LEARN TO DRAW DRESSES BEFORE STICKING YOUR CHARACTER IN ONE.

N decides that the ballroom scene is getting old and changes it...


AHAHAHA WHAT.

Y'know, this page really makes me need to bring up a point that a lot of shippers forget when it comes to this ship, and that's that N's been sheltered all of his life and doesn't really know a lot of things. The thing that a lot of shippers seem to also miss is that N has the mentality of an 8 year old. He really shouldn't be imagining White in a bikini.

Speaking of which, that panel with White in the bikini is the best drawn image in this whole thing, even with White's lower arm just floating there. The power of fanservice everyone.


I'm honestly not sure what's going on in that bottom half of the page. I guess he slipped and landed on her? How does that even happen with how they're sitting?

Oh, and remember when I said he was going to try to rape her? This isn't it. That's coming later. (spoilers)


Um okay DON'T COVER THE BIKINI STRAP WITH THE TEXT THAT MAKES IT LOOK A LOT WORSE THAN IT IS DDD:

So White runs off, just leaving confused manchild N there and suddenly WOAH SCENE CHANGE

HORRIBLY DONE SCENE CHANGE

Horribly done background too. With how many cubes are in N's room you really need to know how to draw cubes.

And what's thiiiiis? We've entered the fucked up manchild part of N's mind!


Y'know, this scene would be a lot cuter if it didn't feel like CHILD GROOMING.

I really get less of a "raised to hate humans" feel from this page and more of a "AHH OH GOD WHAT IS THIS GIRL DOING IN MY SECRET BASE" kind of feel.


EXPOSITION AHHHH

And yet another page where the artist clearly doesn't know what order the panels are supposed to be read in.

While I'm glad this isn't skirting around the obvious mental scars that would come from N's entire life, the atrocious writing and translation just makes it hard to take seriously in a dramatic context.


OKAY SERIOUSLY BASIC RULES OF COMIC WRITING HERE: SPEECH IS READ IN THE SAME ORDER AS PANELS IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT

One thing the comic never explains is why the Munna cares about N so much. I guess it could be assumed that it's one of N's Pokemon friends, but it's never really explained at all. Even hinting at that would have made this make lots more sense.


this page makes no sense

Oh, and I guess N's pissed off because White came to help him or something god I don't know


Whelp, nice job breaking it, White. So now she has to go fix things and blah blah blah enough stealing plots from much better games already

And GASP black smoke. Y'know, the color smoke usually is. GASP.

WHAT COULD THIS MEAN? IS THIS SOME PLOT POINT FOR LATER?
(spoilers: it's never explained)

FIND OUT NEXT TIME