Ocean of Miracles (Kisa and Pseu)

[sleepZombie]

Tavros tightened his arms around Gamzee's neck for a second as he mused. 'It's almost like I died or somethin'.' What a horrible, horrible thing to think. "Uh, yeah. She's fine."

He settled down into the sand where he was sat and smiled up at Gamzee until he plunked down beside him as well. He wasn't expecting the arm over his shoulder but it wasn't anything new, either. He lifted his own arm and more gently curled his hand over Gamzee's shoulder, pressed shoulder to shoulder with his best bro.

The sunset was pretty stunning. What's more, it seemed that this sun wasn't nearly as harsh and unforgiving as the one from their home planet, not that he was going to go staring into it any time soon. "Wow. It's really, pretty." A little smile curved his mouth upwards, something rare and for a moment not shy or unsure as he nudged Gamzee lightly in the shoulder. "A, uh, motherfucking miracle?"

[kisashika]

Gamzee let out a chuckle when Tavros used his line. "Yeah man! Motherfucking beautiful miracle." He reached over and ruffled his friend's mohawk with his free hand.

The sun gave an amazing orange glow across the gentle waters and reflected off the smooth surface. He couldn't quite remember if the ocean by his old Hive was ever this pretty when the sun set on Alternia or if it gave off this many colors- orange, red, yellow, pink, blue, purple.... Gamzee subconsciously pulled Tavros a bit closer, where they we're sitting hip to hip, being cautious of the others horns.

A goofy smile spread across Gamzee's face as they basked in the sunlight. He gave a side-ways glance to his friend and gave a silly- "Honk."

[sleepZombie]

A soft giggle escaped Tavros as his hair was ruffled, wobbling a little and gladly and comfortably welcoming the closer contact. He leaned in slightly to Gamzee's side and fell back into quietly watching the water. His mind was black and he felt... really at peace. More at peace than he had in a long time.

As it was, he was a bit startled by the sudden honk, a wide smile warming his expression as he sort of nudge-pushed against Gamzee's shoulder, forcing the other to rock slightly to the side. "Uh, honk, too. I guess. Hehe."

Yeah. No matter what Gamzee had done before, that was a different time. It was still really scary but it wasn't how things were now. And it would never be like that again, he was sure of it. A sudden flutter in his chest startled him, his smile not going away but getting smaller, shyer, as he looked over at his...

...his what. Everyone was always telling him that friendship was a disease. For a really long time, he believed them, worrying that he was sick. Everything in his society told him that he couldn't just have a friend. If anything it would make sense to call Gamzee his Moirail but. But he couldn't. Because Gamzee and Karkat were Moirails and really, Tav wasn't sure he felt all that pale. What he felt was really stronger. He swallowed, looking down at the sand uncertainly.

Maybe he could just be his Gamzee. That might work. Even if it made him feel kind of weirdly disappointed. "Uh. You know. I was kind of, hoping I would see you here! I can't believe you, were really here."

[kisashika]

"Really, bro? 'Cus when I stepped through that colorful vortex, I didn't know what to fucking expect." He rocked back into place. "Like, it was just out of motherfucking nowhere, and you just go with the flow of those kind of things, ya' know?" He wasn't sure if he was making any sense to Tavros, but it all sounded right in his head. Gamzee swayed a bit before laughing. "Then you showed up out of motherfucking nowhere like... Bam! Tavros!"

Letting out a soft sigh, he stared out to the sea, still grinning. "Cus man, you were one of the last motherfucking things this motherfucker ever thought he'd see, again." His grin changed to a soft smile. "Which is a fucking mazing."

Gamzee remembered something then- red. A short silence stretched between the two trolls as the Capricorn tried to think of a way to word his thoughts where they were coherent.

"Hey, Tavbro, since I've got the fucking chance now, is it alright if I tell ya' somethin'? It's kind of important."

[sleepZombie]

"Well. I mean, that I was hoping to see you, here by the beach. I didn't know, what I would find when I first got here. But, thankfully it was Nepeta and John." He gave a little smile of his own. "I, really didn't think I would, uh, ever get to see you again either. But. I thought Rufio would probably, want me to keep believing. And. You too. So I did! And then!" He made a little gesture of surprise with his hands. "Uh, bam! Gamzee!"

Usually a lot of the things Gamzee said didn't really make much sense to him, but he liked to listen anyways. This time, however, he did understand, which made him pretty happy.

When Gamzee spoke up again he tilted his head to the side, mindful not to accidentally knock into him with one of his horns because that would be pretty terrible. "Oh. If it's important, then you should probably, definitely say something. So yes. You can tell me, uh, something."

[kisashika]

Gamzee inhaled some, readying himself for the internal monologue to roll of his purple tongue. He'd told the Tavros head back in his room several times about his redrom feelings, so it shouldn't be difficult to repeat. But the words stopped short of his vocal cords as he froze up. Why wouldn't they come out? He had been given a second chance to confess to the one troll, the only troll, that he'd ever wanted in that last quadrant. So why was it hard?

Deep down, Gamzee knew that Tavros was scared of him- but then again, the Taurus was easily startled but just about anything. He wasn't afraid of rejection, Gamzee would be more than happy with being just bros, they we're really good at doing that. What he was afraid of was losing control again- because now, his Moirail wasn't here to help him if he went nuts.

Yeah, Karkat wasn't here, was he?

That was it. Gamzee couldn't bring himself to tell Tavros about his feelings because he was afraid that he would hurt him. But, maybe.... If they could be Matesprits, Tavros could do a better job than a Moirail.

Gamzee took in another breath before speaking. "Tav, I'm so motherfucking flushed for you, it ain't even funny." He felt his face turn a light purple and he loosened his grip on the other troll. "And I'm sorry if that makes you fucking uncomfortable..."

[sleepZombie]

"...Uh."

Tavros froze, his arm going limp around Gamzee's shoulders as his friend, more or less, confessed. He had to very firmly tell himself that he should not recoil and lean away because that would really probably be very rude maybe. Hadn't the Capricorn said something like this to him once before? No wait, he'd just talked about kissing then, but kissing was something that you did when you were flushed or caliginous and he had been pretty almost sure that Gamzee was not caliginous back then so he definitely was probably not that was for him now. What was he saying he WASN'T that way. He just said that he was flushed. Flushed.

Flushed.

"Uh."

Very gingerly Tavros brought his arms down to rest in his lap, looking down at his hands and fidgeting anxiously with a loose thread in his sweater. He couldn't look at Gamzee right now. His face was probably completely copper and he was breathing really, really fast. He tried to calm down and think.

Gamzee was flushed for him.
...
Okay think of something else. Was he flushed for Gamzee?
... ... ...
Something else, something else, something else.

Was he uncomfortable? A few deep, calming breaths made him realize that no, no he wasn't. Not really. Maybe a little bit but only because he felt suddenly really put on the spot. No, actually more like because he had just been thinking about things that were close to this exact same train of thought and he hadn't even realized it. If he wasn't pale for Gamzee that meant he must be red for him.

"I. Uh." He swallowed, keeping his face turned down towards his hands and trying to keep his voice steady. "Wow. Are you sure? Because, I might not be, uh. The best, you know. I'm sure that, there is probably a better troll, out there." And then he realized he couldn't stop talking. "I mean. I might, be red for you too, maybe, or something. But I would probably not be, a very good matesprit, since I can't, you know, walk. Or do a lot of things, actually. And I don't know if I'm ready, to do all the things that, uh, matesprits do. L-Like making out."

He hadn't realized how badly his chest felt like it was being crushed, or that his vision was swimming in front of him. Even Rufio was completely quiet... he was probably really super disappointed in Tavros, and not because he thought that he could do it but because he also didn't think the Taurus would be very good at matespritship.

He didn't realize muddy tears had been slowly plipping down over his hands. Oh Gog. He didn't realize that he was really happy to hear that Gamzee felt red for him. It was just too bad. Really too bad that he was just no good.

"So. Thank you for telling me, it was important. But I just don't think, that you really want me to be that for you. And that if you really, uh, thought about it, you would definitely change your mind."

[kisashika]

The words that spilled from Tavros' mouth stabbed Gamzee right in the stomach- they hurt so badly. Why did he think so lowly of himself? Gamzee reached over and gently cupped the others face, trying to get him to look up. "Tav.... Nah, Tavros, man. Why would you think that?" He tilted the other troll's head upward.

"You.... You'd be the best motherfucking Matesprit anytroll could ever have. Because you're so nice, and fucking sweet, and.... You can throw down the sick rhymes." He smiled sweetly. "And it don't fucking matter if you can't walk or do a lot of stuff others can do- cus, if we were Matesprits, I'd do all that stuff for you, and motherfucking take you everywhere that your four-wheeled device can't."

Gamzee couldn't stop. "And we don't have to have motherfucking sloppy makeouts, or any of that stuff- because I'd be happy with just being in your quadrant." With one of his hands, Gamzee wiped the orange tears from Tavros' face, ignoring the ones threatening to fall down his.

"Tav, I'd never change my motherfucking mind about these flushed feelings for you, ever." He leaned forward a bit, touching their foreheads. "Cus, I'd wished so hard to tell you before about them, and before that fucking vortex thing showed up, I never thought I would. Because, you were gone, for motherfucking ever, and I was so fucking miserable without you, Tav...."

There, the water works started- the purple tears started to stream down his face. "If anything, I'm no fucking good for you.... I'm always brain fried off of pie, and if I'm not, then I'm insane...."

"So, I'd understand if you just want to stay bros, Tav.... I just had to tell you how I fucking felt...." And it did feel good to finally have gotten to say it, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off of Gamzee's shoulders- even if Tavros didn't want to be in redrom with him. "But, don't ever, ever, fucking think you're not good enough for anyone, Tav...."

[sleepZombie]

Tavros closed his eyes and let Gamzee's familiar voice wash over him, feeling as reached up to cup his cheek and then brush the wetness from his face. It wasn't until he heard the other troll's voice crack that he opened them again to look into his face. Pale indigo tears were spilling over his cheeks and Tavros felt a pang of regret at having made him even start to think that he was no good.

He gave a small sniffle, eyes flicking downward as he lifted a shaky hand to mimic the way Gamzee brushed tears from his face, banishing the streaks of watery purple that made tracks in what remained of the clowny face paint. "I like you, the way you are, Gamzee. I really, really do."

Confidence. Confidence, some voice whispered in the back of his mind. He needed to say what he wanted to say, because if Gamzee could be confident enough to say it then he could probably be confident enough as well.

"I. Uh. I'd really, like it if you were my matesprit, also."

His head felt dizzy and he worried that maybe his throat was closing up and he wasn't getting enough air to breath. They were both crying but also blushing, and it sort of felt like everything was kind of a mess but it also felt really... really happy. Then, before he could lose the nerve to do what he was thinking about doing, Tavros leaned forward, closing the space between them and pressing his closed lips against Gamzee's, his eyes squeezed shut. He held them there for as long as he felt like he could handle, then leaned back, breathless and blushing completely, eyes wide and afraid as he looked into his friend... into his matesprits face.

And then he laughed. A shy, nervous, but happy little laugh, and nuzzled his forehead against Gamzee's. It really felt like a miracle had happened.

[kisashika]

Gamzee looked up and met the Taurus' eyes when he cleaned his face. This was all there was to it? To getting a Matesprit? He really should have done this instead of offering sloppy makeouts that one time.

Before Gamzee had the chance to even think of replying, their lips met. Surprised at first by the usually shy troll's boldness, it took a moment to register in his already slowed mind what was going on- but once it clicked, he softly kissed back just before they parted.

While Tavros blushed and laughed- Gamzee sat there, a very dazed look and a silly smile plastered on his face. Once his brain caught up with the rest of him, Gamzee chuckled and reached out- interlacing Tavros' fingers in his own. "It's motherfuckin' official then." He craned his head up a bit and gave a small kiss to the others' forehead.

"You and Me, Tav.... Are Matesprits."

[sleepZombie]

Their fingers meshed perfectly together, and Tavros gave a little squeeze as he sniffled lightly and nodded his head and felt the Capricorn's lips brush over his forehead. It was both thrilling and terrifying all at once. Having a Matesprit meant that... if Gamzee got sick of him... But Gamzee had said he wouldn't get sick of him!

If there was only one thing he'd ever be confident about again, he wanted it to be that. That Gamzee would not get sick of him. So he tried his best to be and gave a tremulous smile, still unable to meet his eyes. "Yes. I guess, yes, we are."

What did Matesprits do other than kiss or sloppy makeouts though? He'd never thought so hard about his quadrants in his entire life, mostly because he'd never thought he could actually fill any of them. Awkwardly he reached out and dared to let his arm slide around Gamzee's shoulders again. "I. I hope I can be, uh, good at this. Since I'm not, good at much." He sighed and let his cheek sink down to rest on the other troll's shoulder, eyes sliding half shut, tired and a little bit strung out from all the emotions, and watched the sun continue setting.

[kisashika]

"Hey, you'll be a fucking amazing matesprit, Tav- this motherfucker believes that, you should, too." Gamzee wrapped an arm around the Taurus' waist and intertwined his free hand with one of Tavros'. He let out a small sigh, felling so relieved and.... Happy? Yeah, Gamzee guessed that this was true happiness that made his body tingle wherever Tavros was touching and his stomach feel like it was filled with butterflies.

The sun continued to set and cast a gorgeous deep red glow across the still waters as the stars began to show on the purple and navy blue back drop of the night sky. There was a quarter moon out and as the sun set lower on the horizon, it glowed a brighter silver as it's reflection cast itself on the ocean.

Gamzee couldn't help the silly grin that had plastered itself across his face; he gave Tavros a side ways glance and let out a soft laugh, hugging him closer. "Today had been filled with so many gog damned miracles, it isn't funny. First that vortex, then the ocean, fucking seeing you again, becoming motherfucking mateprits, and the sun set." He gently nuzzled Tavros' hair. "A motherfucker almost can't believe it's real." The ghost of a blush tinted Gamzee's face.

[sleepZombie]

Tavros' fingers tightened in Gamzee's hand, his own face already flushed dark as the other troll murmured to him. He was far too focused on where Gamzee was touching to really notice the sunset at first. He couldn't help the nervous self-conscious surge, wondering if he was doing this right, if he was squeezing his hand too tightly, if maybe his palms were sweating (which he was pretty sure they were).

Then he remembered this was Gamzee. Even though they were officially Matesprits (a thought that was making his stomachs do amazingly acrobatic stunts and his chest pump flutter) it didn't mean that they weren't also still best bros. He had done this same kind of thing with Gamzee a half dozen times before. Maybe without the hand holding and hugging, but still. Pretty much the same.

That thought in mind he finally relaxed, his tense muscles going soft as he sank against the Capricorn's side and let himself be drawn in closer. He gave a softer, less anxious squeeze of his hand and smiled at the way Gamzee's low voice rumbled through his chest and into him. It was comforting.

Feeling Gamzee's breath ruffling through his hair made Tavros shiver. He felt overflowing with a tenderness he assumed was pity and shyly curled his free arm around Gamzee's chest. "It. It's really real. And I think, maybe even if it's not, I don't mind. Just so long as this isn't one of those dreams, where I wake up."

He pulled back a little, looking up at his taller friend(matesprit). Realizing that Gamzee was blushing... and because of him. His mouth went completely dry, his breath speeding up. Tavros' eyes were wide as he canted his head up just slightly, leaning in just a little bit, not really completely sure of what he was doing and completely not knowing where he was going to go with this. "Uh, uhm..." His voice was very quiet in the small space between them as he reached up to lightly slide his palm over Gamzee's cheek, glad for once that the face paint was gone so that he could see the indigo flush.

[kisashika]

Gamzee leaned into the soft touch of the other's hand, relishing in the feeling. Tavros was always a very gentle troll, and that was one of the many things he enjoyed about him; that and they we're as close as trolls could be without being Moirails.

Gamzee let out a low chuckle when Tavros spoke then leaned forward, closing the small gap between them for the second time that day. The kiss didn't last long though, Gamzee didn't want to make it seem like he was rushing the other troll into anything- it was his turn to apologize. "Heheh.... Sorry, Tav, don't know where the fucking came from." The sun had completely set and the moon lit up the night sky. Gamzee looked up to the stars then back down to the Taurus, the sounds of small waves crashing against the shore were the only noticeable noises.

"Hey, you wanna' head back to your fucking four wheeled thing?" He had actually felt like he was sobering up some, from the high fluctuations in emotion, but not so much that he'd go crazy; he'd sworn that would never happen again, especially not now, since Tavros was here. "We should find some motherfucking place to stay or some shit, before it gets to damn dark out."

[sleepZombie]

It felt like the moment was frozen. He wasn't expecting Gamzee to lean in and brush their lips together in a barely there kiss, or that he would lean into it and make it a definitely there kiss. His pulse raced forward, hand tightening in Gamzee's and then it was over and that made him feel both really relieved and a little disappointed.

"Oh. Uh. It's okay." He fumbled over his words, trying to reassure. "Y-Yeah, I guess we should find someplace. Uh. I only know about the shopping, err, area." Where WOULD they sleep? It had been a pretty long day for the Taurus, now that he thought back on it. Arriving here on this weird island, shopping, then finding Gamzee and becoming matesprits.