Post by Jilak on Sept 16, 2011 23:36:36 GMT -5
====>
You are DAVE STRIDER. You are interested in VERY COOL THINGS such as your ILL BEATS and IRONY. You're pretty sure you were just DEAD. Are dead. All of this WEIRD TIME SHIT can be a bit confusing. Previously, you were heading after you ECTOBIOLOGICAL SISTER to save her LIFE. Afterlife. Something of that nature. You were detracted by this task, however, as a PORTAL appeared in front of you.
--------
For any other person, this would have been a truly terrifying event. To recap, young Dave Strider had been awoken from his dream conversation with Rose Lalonde upon being stabbed, and had promptly flown after her. His attempts were thwarted, however, as a large dimensional RIFT appeared in front of him. It was at this point that he realised that stopping was not an option. For anyone else, this would have been a truly terrifying, horrible day.
But no one else could be Dave Strider. He was simply the best there was at being Dave Strider. Thus, he remained relatively expressionless upon going into what was essentially a rip in reality. Even the event directly afterwards, Dave's captchalogued timetables essentially sparking out, got nothing less than a grunt for him. Though, to be fair, it did stun him a fair bit. Electricity crackled across his torso as he rocketed out of the other end...
-------
...and into a dense forest. Well, that was certainly odd. The coolest coolkid would have noted this fact, had he been fully conscious. This was unlike any land he'd ever seen before. Then there were unfamiliar voices, not that they would quite register to the half-conscious Strider. Not for a moment, at least.
"...out of here, mister! He's going to hurt us, and--" Dave heard all he needed to hear. He shook himself awake, getting to his feet somewhat unsteadily.
To be honest, he'd barely noticed the Timetables electrocuting him, or... whatever had happened there. He was still a bit too dazed to really understand. It was mostly the stun that got to him, to be honest. He'd gone through a fair bit worse before, such as when he was killed. Wait, that was right... he was dead. But his friend Jade had managed to revive him as his dreamself, which must have meant this was Derse. Except... opening his eyes, this looked nothing like Derse.
For one thing, it was a forest. He hadn't done much Dreaming, at least that he was aware of, but he could distinctly recall a lack of forests. Also, it wasn't purple. All of these things took a back seat in Dave's mind, however, as he looked down. He was... back in his broken record shirt. Which was good, he liked that shirt. But last he'd checked, he was in his sweet ass Derse pyjamas. The fact that he wasn't now meant, well...
"Welp. Paradox Space must be flipping its shit. It's like John if he met Nic Cage or got to act in one of his shitty movies." Dave thought aloud, giving a slight tug at his right sleeve. A voice broke him from his musings, however.
"Mister, look out!" Oh, right. He was in immediate danger or something like that. Just another day in SBURB. He looked up, wondering what the game could be throwing at him this time.
He got his answer in the form of a fist belonging to what appeared to be a... rock monster of some sort. The Land of Forests and Golems? Now the game was just screwing with him, he was sure. There was no time to muse on it, however, due to the fact that he assumed rock punches to hurt like a bitch. He hastily pulled forth Caledscratch, blocking a rather heavy fist. Now he just had to address the second problem. Who was that screaming earlier...?
A slight turn of his head revealed the answer to this query. A girl, no older than 11, cowering nearby. Based on her somewhat tattered appearance, Dave could only assume she'd been running from this... thing for a fair while. Even so, she didn't seem to want to run, out of presumable fear for Dave's life. He indicated to her that he'd be able to handle this thing in the coolest way possible: a casual thumbs up.
He didn't have to tell her twice, as she quickly broke into a run, getting out of his field of vision in no time. He assumed she'd be okay, but either way, he had bigger problems here. With a grunt he forced forward, knocking the creature's fist back and leaving it momentarily stunned. He brought Caledscratch forward, quickly aiming a stab towards where he assumed the Golem's heart to be. It wasn't like he needed the experience, but he also didn't want to be stabbed from behind because he'd decided to be nice. After all, he wasn't the hero.
He was actually vaguely surprised, however, when Caledscratch shattered upon impact, breaking in half. Luckily, it would be able to cycle back to an earlier point in its timeline to when it wasn't broken, so it wasn't a big loss. Dave quickly leapt to the side, getting out of the way off an attempted stomp. Well. Today was going well.
"Haha! I'll teach you like I taught that girl's parents! Weapons don't work on me!" The creature laughed, sending various feathery assholes flying from the sheer pitch at which he belted this out. Dave frowned. This wasn't going to be easy. In retrospect, there was only one logical tactic. But Dave was a bit too stubborn to admit it just yet.
Instead, he switched swords, assuming the Scarlet Ribbitar would be a bit more successful. While it didn't shatter, it didn't make a single scratch on the creature before him, leading to Dave having to sidestep out of the way of a headbutt.
"Yes, keep trying! Try all the swords in the multiverse! I am invincible!" As the golem threw its fist forward, Dave took a moment to think, the scene playing out before him in slow motion.
Though his pride wasn't happy, he had to admit, the guy was right. Keeping this up would be a bit pointless, and he was starting to get his wits about him. He didn't have time for this, he had to figure out where the hell he was and what Lalonde was up to. Looking around him, he noticed trees. Trees in a forest. How surprising! But it did give him a makeshift plan of sorts. He quickly flashstepped away, the golem's fist smashing into the tree he'd been in front of. It buckled. That was good, buckling was good. But one wouldn't be enough. Dave put his sword away, smirking ever so slightly.
"Man, dude. Harley could hit better than that in her sleep." Dave cringed a bit, internally, at this. Of course, she COULD. But that was in the past. When her dreamself was still alive and her robot was still working. Not any more.
"Shut up! You're just trying to hurt my feelings like everyone else!" Dave leapt over the Golem as it brought its face into the large oak he'd been standing in front of a second before. It seemed to have a very sad, very angsty backstory worthy of a few thousand words. Maybe it's one that would be explored! Spoiler alert, it probably won't.
"What's the matter rock bro, can you not keep up with my flow?" Dave entered a bout of IMPROMPTU FREESTYLE as the Golem continued to miss.
"See maybe you can take a little girl, but Dave Strider's gonna take you for a whirl." Dave narrowly avoided a quick swipe of the creature's claws, putting a single finger to his shades to assure they would stay in place.
"You see, I'm a night, and you're just a knave. Remember who just beat you down, his name is Dave." Dave rolled under another attack, stopping in the centre of the damage, surveying the work that had been done. He crossed his arms, standing straight with a hint of an amused grin.
"what's the matter?! Don't feel like running any more?! No slam poetry? Good! I guess you have got some smarts about you after all!" The rock creature went on, visibly infuriated. Dave gave no visible response as the creature ran for him, the damaged flora swaying with each and every step, imbalanced.
The creature leapt at Dave, snarling. The rhyme king simply tapped his right foot, this final shockwave being enough to tip the scales, sending the various trees toppling down. The golem barely had time to let out a yelp before it was struck, trapped underneath a variety of oak trees and redwoods.
Dave would likely have gone into an amusing rhetoric concerning the utter whipping he had just delivered upon the monster. He may have even dropped a few more ill beats. But he had more important matters at hand.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at ??:?? --
TG: lalonde
TG: lalonde are you there
TG: hello earth to flighty broad
TG: or derse or whatever
TG: you know earlier when i said you were reenacting one of johns shitty movies
TG: and i was nic cage and you were ben stiller
TG: i was wrong
TG: youre making us worse than that by not answering is that what you want
TG: yo lalonde answer plz if youre not dead or something
TG: rose
TG: please
-----------
No answer. Of course not. So she'd done it. Somehow, before he could reach her, she'd taken Derse's moon to the Green Sun. She'd made her suicide run, and now he was alone. Again. Hopping through time, it was great. But his one man ballet show was lonely as could be. And he was stuck in that rut, again. Alone.
------------
You sit back on one of the recently downed trees. You don't know where you are or if anyone you know even still exists. But that's okay. Because you're Dave Strider, and nothing gets to you. Your Bro taught you to be cool. He's gone too, but that's also okay. You'll deal.
What will you do?
===>
You are DAVE STRIDER. You are interested in VERY COOL THINGS such as your ILL BEATS and IRONY. You're pretty sure you were just DEAD. Are dead. All of this WEIRD TIME SHIT can be a bit confusing. Previously, you were heading after you ECTOBIOLOGICAL SISTER to save her LIFE. Afterlife. Something of that nature. You were detracted by this task, however, as a PORTAL appeared in front of you.
--------
For any other person, this would have been a truly terrifying event. To recap, young Dave Strider had been awoken from his dream conversation with Rose Lalonde upon being stabbed, and had promptly flown after her. His attempts were thwarted, however, as a large dimensional RIFT appeared in front of him. It was at this point that he realised that stopping was not an option. For anyone else, this would have been a truly terrifying, horrible day.
But no one else could be Dave Strider. He was simply the best there was at being Dave Strider. Thus, he remained relatively expressionless upon going into what was essentially a rip in reality. Even the event directly afterwards, Dave's captchalogued timetables essentially sparking out, got nothing less than a grunt for him. Though, to be fair, it did stun him a fair bit. Electricity crackled across his torso as he rocketed out of the other end...
-------
...and into a dense forest. Well, that was certainly odd. The coolest coolkid would have noted this fact, had he been fully conscious. This was unlike any land he'd ever seen before. Then there were unfamiliar voices, not that they would quite register to the half-conscious Strider. Not for a moment, at least.
"...out of here, mister! He's going to hurt us, and--" Dave heard all he needed to hear. He shook himself awake, getting to his feet somewhat unsteadily.
To be honest, he'd barely noticed the Timetables electrocuting him, or... whatever had happened there. He was still a bit too dazed to really understand. It was mostly the stun that got to him, to be honest. He'd gone through a fair bit worse before, such as when he was killed. Wait, that was right... he was dead. But his friend Jade had managed to revive him as his dreamself, which must have meant this was Derse. Except... opening his eyes, this looked nothing like Derse.
For one thing, it was a forest. He hadn't done much Dreaming, at least that he was aware of, but he could distinctly recall a lack of forests. Also, it wasn't purple. All of these things took a back seat in Dave's mind, however, as he looked down. He was... back in his broken record shirt. Which was good, he liked that shirt. But last he'd checked, he was in his sweet ass Derse pyjamas. The fact that he wasn't now meant, well...
"Welp. Paradox Space must be flipping its shit. It's like John if he met Nic Cage or got to act in one of his shitty movies." Dave thought aloud, giving a slight tug at his right sleeve. A voice broke him from his musings, however.
"Mister, look out!" Oh, right. He was in immediate danger or something like that. Just another day in SBURB. He looked up, wondering what the game could be throwing at him this time.
He got his answer in the form of a fist belonging to what appeared to be a... rock monster of some sort. The Land of Forests and Golems? Now the game was just screwing with him, he was sure. There was no time to muse on it, however, due to the fact that he assumed rock punches to hurt like a bitch. He hastily pulled forth Caledscratch, blocking a rather heavy fist. Now he just had to address the second problem. Who was that screaming earlier...?
A slight turn of his head revealed the answer to this query. A girl, no older than 11, cowering nearby. Based on her somewhat tattered appearance, Dave could only assume she'd been running from this... thing for a fair while. Even so, she didn't seem to want to run, out of presumable fear for Dave's life. He indicated to her that he'd be able to handle this thing in the coolest way possible: a casual thumbs up.
He didn't have to tell her twice, as she quickly broke into a run, getting out of his field of vision in no time. He assumed she'd be okay, but either way, he had bigger problems here. With a grunt he forced forward, knocking the creature's fist back and leaving it momentarily stunned. He brought Caledscratch forward, quickly aiming a stab towards where he assumed the Golem's heart to be. It wasn't like he needed the experience, but he also didn't want to be stabbed from behind because he'd decided to be nice. After all, he wasn't the hero.
He was actually vaguely surprised, however, when Caledscratch shattered upon impact, breaking in half. Luckily, it would be able to cycle back to an earlier point in its timeline to when it wasn't broken, so it wasn't a big loss. Dave quickly leapt to the side, getting out of the way off an attempted stomp. Well. Today was going well.
"Haha! I'll teach you like I taught that girl's parents! Weapons don't work on me!" The creature laughed, sending various feathery assholes flying from the sheer pitch at which he belted this out. Dave frowned. This wasn't going to be easy. In retrospect, there was only one logical tactic. But Dave was a bit too stubborn to admit it just yet.
Instead, he switched swords, assuming the Scarlet Ribbitar would be a bit more successful. While it didn't shatter, it didn't make a single scratch on the creature before him, leading to Dave having to sidestep out of the way of a headbutt.
"Yes, keep trying! Try all the swords in the multiverse! I am invincible!" As the golem threw its fist forward, Dave took a moment to think, the scene playing out before him in slow motion.
Though his pride wasn't happy, he had to admit, the guy was right. Keeping this up would be a bit pointless, and he was starting to get his wits about him. He didn't have time for this, he had to figure out where the hell he was and what Lalonde was up to. Looking around him, he noticed trees. Trees in a forest. How surprising! But it did give him a makeshift plan of sorts. He quickly flashstepped away, the golem's fist smashing into the tree he'd been in front of. It buckled. That was good, buckling was good. But one wouldn't be enough. Dave put his sword away, smirking ever so slightly.
"Man, dude. Harley could hit better than that in her sleep." Dave cringed a bit, internally, at this. Of course, she COULD. But that was in the past. When her dreamself was still alive and her robot was still working. Not any more.
"Shut up! You're just trying to hurt my feelings like everyone else!" Dave leapt over the Golem as it brought its face into the large oak he'd been standing in front of a second before. It seemed to have a very sad, very angsty backstory worthy of a few thousand words. Maybe it's one that would be explored! Spoiler alert, it probably won't.
"What's the matter rock bro, can you not keep up with my flow?" Dave entered a bout of IMPROMPTU FREESTYLE as the Golem continued to miss.
"See maybe you can take a little girl, but Dave Strider's gonna take you for a whirl." Dave narrowly avoided a quick swipe of the creature's claws, putting a single finger to his shades to assure they would stay in place.
"You see, I'm a night, and you're just a knave. Remember who just beat you down, his name is Dave." Dave rolled under another attack, stopping in the centre of the damage, surveying the work that had been done. He crossed his arms, standing straight with a hint of an amused grin.
"what's the matter?! Don't feel like running any more?! No slam poetry? Good! I guess you have got some smarts about you after all!" The rock creature went on, visibly infuriated. Dave gave no visible response as the creature ran for him, the damaged flora swaying with each and every step, imbalanced.
The creature leapt at Dave, snarling. The rhyme king simply tapped his right foot, this final shockwave being enough to tip the scales, sending the various trees toppling down. The golem barely had time to let out a yelp before it was struck, trapped underneath a variety of oak trees and redwoods.
Dave would likely have gone into an amusing rhetoric concerning the utter whipping he had just delivered upon the monster. He may have even dropped a few more ill beats. But he had more important matters at hand.
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at ??:?? --
TG: lalonde
TG: lalonde are you there
TG: hello earth to flighty broad
TG: or derse or whatever
TG: you know earlier when i said you were reenacting one of johns shitty movies
TG: and i was nic cage and you were ben stiller
TG: i was wrong
TG: youre making us worse than that by not answering is that what you want
TG: yo lalonde answer plz if youre not dead or something
TG: rose
TG: please
-----------
No answer. Of course not. So she'd done it. Somehow, before he could reach her, she'd taken Derse's moon to the Green Sun. She'd made her suicide run, and now he was alone. Again. Hopping through time, it was great. But his one man ballet show was lonely as could be. And he was stuck in that rut, again. Alone.
------------
You sit back on one of the recently downed trees. You don't know where you are or if anyone you know even still exists. But that's okay. Because you're Dave Strider, and nothing gets to you. Your Bro taught you to be cool. He's gone too, but that's also okay. You'll deal.
What will you do?
===>
