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Post by ryocker on Dec 10, 2011 0:45:27 GMT -5
Wax eyed them all, then grinned. "Naaaah, Just two."
Getting to work, his stretchy slimy body nabbed every girraffe and then proceeded to tie them all up. WITH his sludge. "One false move and your men are getting caught in your gun, Battle Axe!" Wax huffed. "So be hopeful you're not out of-"
"DON'T SAY IT!" an unknown person pleaded.
"... So be hopeful it's not too late for you to take a defeat!"
All things considered, he could've probably just killed the giraffes there... what with the burning hot wax body and all...
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Post by doctorzero on Dec 21, 2011 2:01:25 GMT -5
Wilhelm just stared at Wax, his gun still trained on Princess, looking exasperated. After a moment, he sighed. "Wax, pal, you clearly don't know how the b*tch works--"
"Amen to that."
Ca-CLINK.
Princess, in a stunning display of disrespect for hammerspace, had pulled out what APPEARED to be a triple-barreled Gatling Gun with built-in rockets.
And no, don't ask me how that works.
"Oh, sh*t."
Now, the thing about Princess is that you could have ALL of her henchmen tied up and dangled over a lava pit...
And she would simply shoot THEM, then YOU, in that exact order just for the sake of being a jerk.
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Post by ryocker on Dec 21, 2011 12:55:59 GMT -5
Wax looked at the display with half open eyes. "... Fine, play it that way."
Slinging the bag of Girrafes to the side, he shifted his hands and craters into an arm cannon again- then proceeded to aim them at her. "Your heat seekers, my pyrokinetic abilities. You REALLY want to end this like that? With a pair of holes in this already warn out village?"
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Post by doctorzero on Dec 31, 2011 23:01:28 GMT -5
Princess actually seemed to consider the pros and cons to th--
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
Nevermind.
About four rockets zoomed towards them, streaming hellfire behind them.
Wilhelm thought quickly. "WAX! SHOOT INTO THE AIR!"
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Post by ryocker on Dec 31, 2011 23:07:07 GMT -5
Had this been an Anime, a side view of Wax's head- followed by a quick spark on a black screen- would have definately shown up. Fully charging in just a little over three seconds, he pointed his arms skyward and blasted away- two red orbs successfully flying out, glowing like a pair of fresh bomb fuses.
Fortunately they were hot flames- hottest he had probably ever shot- and were definately moving fast. Deciding to toy with the heat seekers, Wax made the pair twirl, causing the missiles to do so as well until-
KRABOOOOOM!!!!!!
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Post by doctorzero on Dec 31, 2011 23:16:09 GMT -5
The rockets blew up in an impressive fireworks display, causing several villagers to open their windows and look outside to see what all the commotion was about.
Wihelm whistled at the sight of the explosions. "Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice."
"BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!"
Cue the villagers slamming their windows shut as Princess lunged at Wilhem (from ten yards away WTF), knocking him over.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!"
The two of them rolled over and over until Wilhelm kicked Princess off of him. He scrambled up and grabbed Princess by the throat as she attempted to stand up.
"You know what, babe?" he asked as he raised his handgun.
"I'm getting really sick of you."
He jammed his gun into her mouth, causing her to go "MMPHAEHEPL!"
BANG!
She fell backwards, seemingly dead, as Wilhelm holstered his gun. "I hate doing that. Feels inappropriate."
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Post by ryocker on Dec 31, 2011 23:24:14 GMT -5
Wax slithered over to their little, erm... "tussling ground," staring her over after she fell. "...considering what you said earlier, I think it's appropriate," he smirked. "Innapropriate would be shoving a lot of my wax down her throat- I don't even think Immortals could survive that."
moving past her, he turned around. "Are we about done here?" he asked Wil, a trail he left riding over with his lap top on top, taking a ride.
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Post by doctorzero on Dec 31, 2011 23:31:01 GMT -5
"Just about."
Wilhelm picked Princess's body up and slung her over his shoulder. "She'll wake up soon enough, but I can just shoot her again. I have a LOT of questions for this broad. After that, there's someone I know who would LOVE to have a little...chat with her."
Wax did not like the way he said 'chat'.
"But enough about that, I'm going to search her shop first. Otherwise the people here are gonna look in there in the morning and find something like a lesbian slave harem or something."
...
Let's pretend he never said that last bit.
He looked at Wax. "You can go if you want--I can handle things by myself--but if you want to stick around be my guest."
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Post by ryocker on Dec 31, 2011 23:36:18 GMT -5
Once the small bit of square metal was close enough, Wax picked it up off the ground. Then shrugged. "Eh, suit yourself," he murmered. "I really gotta work getting my house built anyway- you're free to come by and visit anytime you want. I'll most likely be at the cemetary."
Once he was far enough away, Wax opened up his laptop, urged his body to type his password, then got out the stylus. "Wonder if anyone's been looking for me..."
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Post by doctorzero on Dec 31, 2011 23:48:14 GMT -5
Wilhelm watched him go. "Eh, annoying candle. Good guy, though."
He then started walking towards Auntie Grandma's Nooks and Crannies, fully ignoring the fact that Princess's blood was leaking onto his clothes.
It would probably be best if I did not inform you of what the majority of...things Wilhelm found in the building were, as I would no doubt be banned from this forum permanently.
Suffice it to say that Wilhelm destroyed virtually everything in there within the span of twenty minutes.
During that amount of time he shot Princess thirty eight times to keep her down.
Finally, he was rummaging through the cupboards behind the counter to see if he missed anything.
"Porn, porn, gun mag, porn, not gonna touch THAT one, porn, junk mail, bread, eggs, breaded eggs--no idea how THAT works--porn, porn, badly made porn, Torturing for Morons, porn--good God, can't she get herself a boyfriend or so--nevermind, forget you thought that, more porn, and The Grand Master Plan (TM)."
He took the scroll out of the cupboard and opened it.
...
...
...
He stared at the bound and gagged Princess sitting in the corner. "...You are seriously messed up."
Well, at least it explains the wedlock, he thought to himself. He stashed the scroll in his coat pocket.
"And now, to deal with you, you crazy bitch," he muttered.
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