Your name is Afeela Dix, and you are seventeen years old. You’re quite fond of agriculture, or at least was, but as someone kept stealing the pumpkins in your garden you decided to change interests. Nowadays you enjoy painting things of an unusual nature, as well as a keen interest in science—or as one of your friends calls it, SCIENCE!!! You also don’t mind roleplaying a little with your friends online. You’re quite fond of the occasional videogame too—speaking of which, the six of you have all agreed to play the new game that just came out a while ago together.
Well, five. One of your companions isn’t fond of video games, so he chose to sit this one out. Sucks to be him, you suppose, but eh.
Your chumhandle is
aliaTria, and you type in a relatively normal manner, but tend to skip letters when rushed.What will you do?
> Examine room.
Your room is somewhat small, to be honest. Most of it is taken up by the bunkbed that your mother decided to move in here because it took up too much space in her room. You also have your desk with your computer, along with a chest filled with notebooks. These are filled to the brim with sketches. They are your treasure.
> Check computer.
You walk over to your desk and give it a look. No one’s bothered you on pesterchum yet. Today’s the day you all begin playing the game, though, so you’ll be contacted by one of your pals sooner or lat—
RIIIIING!!!
And that would be the phone.
> Answer phone.
There’s only one person in your circle of friends who always insists on calling you by phone, if not in person. You pull out your cell phone and answer.
Afeela: Hello?
?: This has been a horrible morning. Comfort me.
Afeela: Oh, hi! What’s wrong?
?: You know who, that’s what.
Afeela: What did he do this time?
?: Had a bit of a run in with him earlier.
Afeela: You didn’t have another fight, did you?
?: Come on, you know me better than that. But I’m stuck in my room until the dust settles.
Afeela: I really wish the two of you didn’t fight so much.
?: Don’t worry about it, ‘Feela. Anyway, guess what I found in the mail?
Afeela: What?
?: A copy of that sBurb game you guys kept talking about.
Afeela: Really? I thought you didn’t want to play!
?: I don’t. I think one of the other’s copies wound up at my place by accident. Stupid mailman…anyway, have any of the others called you yet?
Afeela: No, not yet.
?: I’m going to call them myself, see who’s missing their game copy. I still don’t see why you’re all bothering to play this game, anyway, GameInformer gave it a pretty low score, remember?
Afeela: Come on, no one takes that magazine seriously anyway.
?: If you say so. Dammit, I have to call you back. Later, Afeela.
(? Hangs up)
You can’t help but feel worried for him. Well, he can take care of himself. You’re curious about him having a copy of sBurb, though. Maybe—
Hold on, your computer dinged.
started pestering
aliaTria [AT] at 10:32 AM.
Good morning, my dear.AT: Good morning, Professor! Still haven’t fixed the text problem yet?Regrettably. Today is the day you and your compatriots begin playing sBurb, I take it?AT: Of course! I told you before, remember?Of course, silly me. Well, you have quite the experience ahead of you.AT: You said you played the game, right? How did it go?Tsk tsk tsk. I’m not the kind of person who will spoil, my dear, remember?AT: Aw, come on! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?I am unfazed by your numerous e’s. My will is made of titanium, laced with diamonds. No amount of pleading will make me crack!AT: Killjoy. XDIndeed. I just don’t want to ruin the experience. That reminds me, did you get your copy?AT: Yes, actually! It’s downstairs in the kitchen with my brother’s copy. Oh, that reminds meAnother of your friends received a copy by mistake?AT:…yes. How did you know?I spoke with him a few minutes ago and he happened to mention it. Probably a mistake by the mailman. I wouldn’t worry about it. Now, perhaps you should go and have a word with the rest of your compatriots to see if they’re ready yet.AT: I think I will, thanks! By the way, gonna tell me your name yet?Nice try, but no.AT: DDDDDDDDDDDXPerhaps another time.AT: Ugh, FINE. I’m gonna go now.Till next time, my dear. ceased pestering
aliaTria [AT] at 10:39 AM.
That Professor’s a nice guy, but he can be so cryptic sometimes.
You’ve known him for about a year now, having run into him at a popular role playing forum. Your friends think he’s kinda weird, but you never really saw anything wrong with him.
Anyway, he’s right, you need to get your copy and chat with the others.
> Arm thyself.
Arm yourself? Hey, it’s not like someone’s about to attack you out of nowhere.
But you decide to grab a weapon, if only to make yourself look cool.
Let’s see—ah, yes, the paintbrush on your desk looks nice.
> Capchtalouge paintbrush.
Capchtawhatnow?
You have no idea what that means. Is that even a word?
> Pick up the paintbrush.
You pick up the paintbrush. Okay, so it’s pretty short, but you can probably poke something to death with it.
Not that you have any plans to do so. You’re not a violent person. Your brother, on the other hand, with his fake swords and such…
Well, we haven’t gotten to him yet.
> Be the Professor.
…
What?
> Leave room.
Finally, something that makes sense.
You enter the hallway. It's awfully quiet. Your parents have already left for work, and your brother...
Ugh. You REALLY hope he doesn't ambush you. Well, he'll be getting a facefull of paintbrush if he does!
...and JUST when you said you weren't violent.
> Preform FACEPALM X2 COMBO.
You immediately oblige.
> Go downstairs.
You tiptoe down the staircase. You don't want to get your brother's attention yet. You remember when he ambushed you with the shaving cream in the kitchen.
He got in a LOT of trouble for that one. To be fair, though, he had no idea that shaving cream could be so flammable. Neither did you, for that matter.
The staircase ends in the living room. Next to the fireplace is a lifesize replica of the wizard ZAZZERPAN THE LEARNED, the wizened seer from the bestselling book COMPLACENCY OF THE LEARNED, by Dr. Lalonde. It's pretty much your brother's favorite book. He got the replica from a guy at school for his birthday and the thing's been in your living room ever since.
> Fondly regard magician.
Just look at that mystical gaze. To peer into those aloof, glassen eyes is to arrest the curiosity of any mortal. To behold the wisdom concealed in the furrows of that venerable face is to know the ceaseless joys of bewonderment itself. Any man so fortunate as to catch askance his merry twinkle or twitch of whisker shall surely have all his dreams fulfilled.
............................
You have GOT to stop reading your brother's fantasy novels. It's doing weird things to your head.
> Psychoanalyze brother's love of wizards.
You're not a therapist, and your brother doesn't LOVE wizards, he just happens to enjoy that one book. You never saw the appeal, anyway.
You always thought it to be a bit creepy, trying to watch a movie or read a book in here with that creepy stare directed at you. You've asked repeatedly to have it moved to your brother's room, but your mother always thought it looked nice in here.
> Proceed to the kitchen.
You waltz past ol' ZAZZERPAN and enter the kitchen.
Remains of today's breakfast litter the counter. You make a mental note to clean it up or risk your cat's wrath.
Don't ask.
The packages catch your eye as soon as you enter. Both of them lie upon the table innocently.
Oh, that's right, your brother's playing with you guys too. Speaking of which, where IS he?
> Captchalogue sBurb disks.
Is that some weird way to say pick it up?
You pick up the sBurb diAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
"Surprise!"
Oh, great, it's your brother.
> STRIFE!!!
started pestering aliaTria [AT] at 10:32 AM.