Post by ParamountKeymaster on Apr 1, 2016 8:19:44 GMT -5
Patrick: HEY EV THANX 4 DOIN THIS 4 ME
Patrick: I FIGRED ID NEED SUMONE 2 CHECK MY SPELING AND FAX
Evan: Uh, yeah... No problem, Pat. ^^;
Evan: And here I thought asking why you're sitting in the kitchen with your laptop wearing nothing but boxers and a Mexican wrestling mask would lead to absolutely no repercussions whatsoever.
Patrick: XACTLY!!! NOW LETS DO THIS!!!
An Abridged History of Earth-NES-0000001
By Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick Rooke Esq.
Evan: Do you even know what Esquire means?
Patrick: YES I JUST WIKID IT
1900: Man is born.
Evan: Oh God...
1901: The wheel is born.
1903: Wheels have reached their apex. The bi-cycle is invented by the Ring-a-ling Bros.
Evan: There are so many things wrong with this, but I chose to correct your usage of there/their.
1904: Fire is discovered in my garage.
Evan: Wait, so you're saying that fire was discovered after the bicycle was invented? T.T
Patrick: WELL YA EVRYONE WAS BIKIN AROND IN DA DARK N CRASHIN INTO EACH OTHER
1905: Benjamin Frankman flies a ghost in a lightman storm. The ghost grabs a lightman bulb from the sky, where it's stolen by Thomas Hiddleston, who patens it as his own.
Evan: What's a lightman?
1969:
Evan: Okay, no, stop! You're just skipping forward?
Patrick: NO IM NOT SKIPPIN ANYTING
Evan: You skipped six decades, Patrick. Did nothing happen to the world during that time?
Patrick: WELL IT WAS DA BIG NAP
Evan: ...
Evan: ...
Evan: ...
Evan: "The Big Nap?" T_T
1969: A year-long celebration of the hilarious year. Ha ha. 69.
Evan: I'm not sure why I expected a legit history book out of someone who hasn't even lived in this world for over half his life.
Patrick: HOLD ON LET ME CTRL S
Evan: You do realize that Google Docs auto-saves, right?
Patrick: KK BACK TO WORK!!!
1989: The Berlin Wall falls, symbolically ending the Cold War and relieving years of tension between the East and the West.
Evan: ...Wow. That was actually very poignant.
Patrick: LOLZ!!!!!!!!!
1991: DR PIZZA INVENTS DA HAMBERGER
Evan: Of course...
1996: ALEXANDER FLEMMING LEEVES A MOLDY SANWICH OUT OVERNITE AND AXIDENTLY ADDS AN XTRA ENGREDIENT TO DA CONCOXION... CEMICAL X!!!!!! BOOM!!!!!! THUS DA POWERPUFF GIRLS WERE BORN!!!!!!
Evan: You know what? I give up trying to correct any of this.
APRIL 1 2016: I TOOT!!!!!!!!
Evan: Very funny. =_=
A new writer opens the document. It's Jason.
Jason: hey guys
Evan: What the...?
He has a gun.
Evan: What is this?!
He wants my information.
Jason: i want your information
My book is the real truth. He's trying to silence me!
Evan: What is happening?!
Darien tries to save me.
Evan: Wait, is Darien actually going over to Maple house??
But fails.
Evan: Patrick, this isn't funny! I seriously just heard a gun go off!
Then explodes.
Evan: And now there's an explosion! AFTER you typed that!
And he's gay now.
WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING?!
Evan: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING?!
Patrick...? o.o
Evan: Patrick...? o.o
Stop.
Evan: Stop.
Patrick, seriously, you're scaring me.
Evan: Patrick, seriously, you're scaring me.
Stop typing what I'm typing before I type it!
Evan: Stop typing what I'm typing before I type it!
Is this some sort of enchantment thing? Ray, are you messing with me?!
Evan: Is this some sort of enchantment thing? Ray, are you messing with me?!
E̗͔̹̠̣v͓͜a̦̮̥n̯̱̞:̧̻̘͈͎̘ ̨̯̤̭Ạ͇͎͖̺n͕̖̺̣d̷ ҉̤̖͙̝̭h̸̥̩͚͎̤͇e͍̟̼̫͈͕̞r̹͖͟ẹ͠ ̦̞͔̣̫͇I̪̹̳̖̹ ̗̖̰̦̮͠ͅt̹̲͙̹̻̯ͅh̥̱̺̰̺̩̲́o̫̹̜̩̖u͡g͉͔ḩ̯̝̫̘̣̗t̬͈̠̯̣̘ ̬̟̲͈̣̗ͅa͡s͖͇̗̱k̷̫̪͓̯̺i̲̻̫n̝̥̥͚̮͔̕g̴̰ ̤͉̕w̸͈h̵͓y̡̯̞̺ ̣̩̰́y͍̰͕͙o̧͇̰̩̟͙͉͍u'̴͈͉͕͇̠̠r̗͙͈̰̩̪e̠̖̪̜̤ ͕̲͕̺s̝̜͕̜͍̼͈i҉͎͚̣t̢̲t̟̪̟̘̯͢i̷̪̥̜͕n͓̯̠̹̮g̹̖ ̺̼͔͓͔͉͡i͚̳̫͍͝n͈̰͝ ̡t͖͍͔h͍̭̫̜̖̖͚͜e͠ ̛̱ķ̮i͏͈̥̼̜̞̬͍t͍͚c̩h͏e̲̩̠̕n ̝̺̖̥͎̻̗͞w̧̯̗̙̰̙i̢͇t̀h ̖̙̻̝͍̰y͓͓͖̞͕͟o͕̖̖̲̗̱͇ṵ̪̪̙̜r̠͘ ̬̱̮̝̻̝̥l̘̠͉͖̥̜̬a̞͞ͅp̸̰̬̪̺͙̱t̮̫͠o̬p͖̳̪͓̣̘ ̻w̗̟̬͈͓͇e̺a̱ŕ͍̺͔̮͔̲i̤̤n̷̲̝͈̺̹̼g̨̫̼͍ ̠n͕ͅo̯̥͔̩̯͢t͇̺̩̯h̦͙i̺͔͚͓͎̰͍n̞͉̳̗̺g͚̠ ͚̮b̫̭͚̮͠u͏͙̺̜̳ͅt͓̮͞ ̨b̙͈o̵̞x̬̦̥̙ͅer͙̣͖̳ͅs͕̤̰̰ ̯͡a̘͖͝n͙̲͙̮̩̻͍͝d̷͉ ̨a̝͡ M̤̹̰͓̺̠e͏̳̮̪̘̞͉͉xi͉͕̺̻c̦͕̤̪̩͙a̷͔͎̫̳̜̰ͅn̴͖̫̠͕̟̩ͅ ͞w̨̠̭̻̩r̢͚̼e҉͉̲s̭̺̫t̗͚̙̻̰͍l̯̺̘͔̟͎̣i̞͙̪̟̻̪̞ǹ̟̘̟͍̣͕͇g̠̟̖ ̯̗̥͚̩̳m̳̪̜͖̯̘as͚͇͖̘̦k͍͙̺̜̮ ̙͚̬̞̟̺w̯͙o̴u̬̘̺̻̬l͚̪̜̪̖d̢̯̭̝̤̮ ͏̱l͔͚̠̙ͅe̗̘̪a͍̫̫̖̙̼͞d̹͍͉̮͓͎ ҉t̨̖o̺͚̕ ̛̞̰͈͔a̰̝̰ͅb͎̤̖͔̮̗s͕̩̤o̪lu̻͔̳͍t̫̩̪͔e̷̝͇ͅl̝͍͍̞͟y̺̱͎͈̹̻̟ ̧͉̥͈̩̠̱̟n̤̰o̼̟̟ ͍͇ṛ͉͔̱̺̣̫͝e͠p̷͕͙̣͇͍e͈̲̮͍̜̩͙͘r҉̥͍̬c͙̰̬̪̮ṳs̥͙̪̬̭̝̠͢s̝i̴̠o̜n̹s̖̞̜̱͠ ̗̱̹̱w͉h͖a̯ts͈͈̱̰o̟͓̟ę̹̲͈̞v̬̞̞̀e̸̝̘͉r̭͇͝.̪
Evan: What the...?! Did Google Docs just glitch out?!
M̙͟ý͔̖̰̟͖ ͇͉͟b̶̨̫̕o͏͏͎̲̮̼̙o̤̯͕͇̼̕͟͠k̝͘̕͝ ̸̪̺̼̟̼͖͎ḭ̢̞͖̞̺̫͜ͅͅs̻̹̩̗͜ͅ ̼t̫͙̜̙̳h̢͔̝̘͉́͝è̮̥͚̮̯̱ ̠̝͙͈̦͓̻͙͠ͅr̴̶̦̘̗̜͞e̼̣̻͢a҉̷̖͙͉̱̟l̪͙̹̺̘̪̕ ҉̢̖̦̠̘͙ţ̯͈̰͡͝ͅr͕ͅù̢͎͖͓͔̜͎̙ͅt҉̨̗͈̪̻͕̯̳ͅẖ̸͇͉͢.̧̼͓̲͞
Evan: WHAT IS GOING ON?!!
The ̨si̢n̕gu͝larit̡y!̷ He i͞s̡ c͡o̴ming̢! ͠W͘é ̵m͞u͟st ͞w͟e͡lcom͡e ͏h͘i̡m҉ wi͘th̷ ơp̷e͏n ҉a͡rḿs!
Ṕ̧at͏r̸̛íc̢k̵͜͢:̀ Ḩ̕A̶IL̵͢ ̨͜͞DR̵̸͠. ͞P̀͢I͞Ź̷͏Z҉A͞!̸̛
J͘aso͢ń:͞ ͢h͝ail̡ ͠d̛r̡ ͢p̵i̛z҉za
H̗͞A̸̦̭̹͙̮͕͈I̗̤̠L͇ ̵͎̥D̩͎̪̫Ŗ̠̲. ̫̩͓̣P̻̙̜͈͍̯̺͢I̦̪͇̫͚Z̡̬Z̤̗͠A͇ͅ.҉͖̟̠̭̤͓
E͑̿̾ͫ̑̍ͧ̿̑͒̇҉̧̛̠͕̼͖̻͈̻̙̠͍̯͍͎̭̦͈͓v̢͉̙̯̥̭̦̻͔̝͊̃̈̔̐̇̐̑͜͢͡a̢͍̥̺̦̫͖̰̼̬͖̠̖̮͔ͩͨͪͣͪ̊ͩ̈́͡ǹ̆̐̾̉ͬ̏̒͂̉̃͛̍̅ͯ͘҉͙̺̜͓̘̜̲̗̀̕͡:̷̡̟̹̝̮͔͉̞̤͖̖͓̰̫̠̟̘͈̘ͬ͑̐ͧ̃̒ͨͅ ̼̻̣̰̗̥͇͖̺͔͙̯̞͎̠͎͈̘̬ͮ̎́ͭͪ̚͜͜A̴̠̼̬̤̼͇̯̗̭̫͙͕͕̪̻ͧͨͬ̐͊̔ͫ͌̆͆̐ͤ͊̀̚̚̚͠ͅL̷̘̦̯̙͎̟̖͓̦͔̭̥̞ͬ̑̌ͣ̂̒̅͡͡L͆ͯͦ̊ͦ͛ͨ͒̌҉̸̗̠̥͎̝͇͞ͅ ̸̻̺̠̯͉͍͓̀́ͧ̄̒͛ͯ͆̍̎̒͊́̚͘H̴̎͋ͤ͊ͪ̔̊ͪ̊͋̍͜҉̫̻͔̼͔̮̻͙̬̺͇̺̲̮͍̥̬͝ͅĄ̷̶̘͈̜̫͉̬͈̺͖̞̝͑̽̌̈́̀̈́͝͝ͅĮ̴͈̣̳͍̘̘͔̜̩̤̾͋ͪ͒̆͐̅ͩͬ̉̿͗̈́̀͡L̵̴̬̭̻̗̞͒ͩ̈́ͩ̒̆ ̖̙̬̝̺̯̘̂͋̽͗̀́͡D̼̞̮̱̥̜̩̮̰̯̥̃̌͂ͩ͢R̜̠͚̪̫̮̳̗͍͖͚̖͖̫̘̪̘͈ͣͫ͆̉̉ͨͮ͑̅ͩͥ͗̑̃̆̎ͦ̿͠͞͠.̴͋͑̒͒ͥ̈̂̓̉ͨ̂̋̾͌̅ͦ͌̈͝͏̛̹̮̫̭̪̹͚̳̞͔̼͎͓ ͐͌͌͋̓̈҉̸̨̟͖̭̭͖̟͔͢͞P̸̢̼̺͕͚̩̙̞͙̝̱͉͕̪͖͋̒̈͆̏ͩ͊́̄ͩ͒́́̚Ĩ̷̱̲̞͎͕̦͖͈̗̼̩̲̮̔ͥ̀̓ͤ̽̆̒ͤͫ͊̒̒ͦ̀̈́͘͡Ż̷̡̠̖̖͙̺͓͒̓̾ͫ̎͊ͧ̅ͭ̑̍͟͡ͅZ̵̷̾̌̊̎̿͛ͧ͛̓̄̔̾̐̈́̃̿͏̨̳̳͇̫̯͎͕̼̜̬͕̼̬̙A̶̵̠̝͙̩̗̯̰̤̱̽͑̒ͣ̂̀.͉̟̱̣̠̗̣ͧ̒ͩͥ̌̾ͥ̍͒͜͢͠͞͞
Patrick: I FIGRED ID NEED SUMONE 2 CHECK MY SPELING AND FAX
Evan: Uh, yeah... No problem, Pat. ^^;
Evan: And here I thought asking why you're sitting in the kitchen with your laptop wearing nothing but boxers and a Mexican wrestling mask would lead to absolutely no repercussions whatsoever.
Patrick: XACTLY!!! NOW LETS DO THIS!!!
An Abridged History of Earth-NES-0000001
By Mr. Dr. Prof. Patrick Rooke Esq.
Evan: Do you even know what Esquire means?
Patrick: YES I JUST WIKID IT
1900: Man is born.
Evan: Oh God...
1901: The wheel is born.
1903: Wheels have reached their apex. The bi-cycle is invented by the Ring-a-ling Bros.
Evan: There are so many things wrong with this, but I chose to correct your usage of there/their.
1904: Fire is discovered in my garage.
Evan: Wait, so you're saying that fire was discovered after the bicycle was invented? T.T
Patrick: WELL YA EVRYONE WAS BIKIN AROND IN DA DARK N CRASHIN INTO EACH OTHER
1905: Benjamin Frankman flies a ghost in a lightman storm. The ghost grabs a lightman bulb from the sky, where it's stolen by Thomas Hiddleston, who patens it as his own.
Evan: What's a lightman?
Evan: Okay, no, stop! You're just skipping forward?
Patrick: NO IM NOT SKIPPIN ANYTING
Evan: You skipped six decades, Patrick. Did nothing happen to the world during that time?
Patrick: WELL IT WAS DA BIG NAP
Evan: ...
Evan: ...
Evan: ...
Evan: "The Big Nap?" T_T
1969: A year-long celebration of the hilarious year. Ha ha. 69.
Evan: I'm not sure why I expected a legit history book out of someone who hasn't even lived in this world for over half his life.
Patrick: HOLD ON LET ME CTRL S
Evan: You do realize that Google Docs auto-saves, right?
Patrick: KK BACK TO WORK!!!
1989: The Berlin Wall falls, symbolically ending the Cold War and relieving years of tension between the East and the West.
Evan: ...Wow. That was actually very poignant.
Patrick: LOLZ!!!!!!!!!
1991: DR PIZZA INVENTS DA HAMBERGER
Evan: Of course...
1996: ALEXANDER FLEMMING LEEVES A MOLDY SANWICH OUT OVERNITE AND AXIDENTLY ADDS AN XTRA ENGREDIENT TO DA CONCOXION... CEMICAL X!!!!!! BOOM!!!!!! THUS DA POWERPUFF GIRLS WERE BORN!!!!!!
Evan: You know what? I give up trying to correct any of this.
APRIL 1 2016: I TOOT!!!!!!!!
Evan: Very funny. =_=
A new writer opens the document. It's Jason.
Jason: hey guys
Evan: What the...?
He has a gun.
Evan: What is this?!
He wants my information.
Jason: i want your information
My book is the real truth. He's trying to silence me!
Evan: What is happening?!
Darien tries to save me.
Evan: Wait, is Darien actually going over to Maple house??
But fails.
Evan: Patrick, this isn't funny! I seriously just heard a gun go off!
Then explodes.
Evan: And now there's an explosion! AFTER you typed that!
And he's gay now.
WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING?!
Evan: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING?!
Patrick...? o.o
Evan: Patrick...? o.o
Stop.
Evan: Stop.
Patrick, seriously, you're scaring me.
Evan: Patrick, seriously, you're scaring me.
Stop typing what I'm typing before I type it!
Evan: Stop typing what I'm typing before I type it!
Is this some sort of enchantment thing? Ray, are you messing with me?!
Evan: Is this some sort of enchantment thing? Ray, are you messing with me?!
E̗͔̹̠̣v͓͜a̦̮̥n̯̱̞:̧̻̘͈͎̘ ̨̯̤̭Ạ͇͎͖̺n͕̖̺̣d̷ ҉̤̖͙̝̭h̸̥̩͚͎̤͇e͍̟̼̫͈͕̞r̹͖͟ẹ͠ ̦̞͔̣̫͇I̪̹̳̖̹ ̗̖̰̦̮͠ͅt̹̲͙̹̻̯ͅh̥̱̺̰̺̩̲́o̫̹̜̩̖u͡g͉͔ḩ̯̝̫̘̣̗t̬͈̠̯̣̘ ̬̟̲͈̣̗ͅa͡s͖͇̗̱k̷̫̪͓̯̺i̲̻̫n̝̥̥͚̮͔̕g̴̰ ̤͉̕w̸͈h̵͓y̡̯̞̺ ̣̩̰́y͍̰͕͙o̧͇̰̩̟͙͉͍u'̴͈͉͕͇̠̠r̗͙͈̰̩̪e̠̖̪̜̤ ͕̲͕̺s̝̜͕̜͍̼͈i҉͎͚̣t̢̲t̟̪̟̘̯͢i̷̪̥̜͕n͓̯̠̹̮g̹̖ ̺̼͔͓͔͉͡i͚̳̫͍͝n͈̰͝ ̡t͖͍͔h͍̭̫̜̖̖͚͜e͠ ̛̱ķ̮i͏͈̥̼̜̞̬͍t͍͚c̩h͏e̲̩̠̕n ̝̺̖̥͎̻̗͞w̧̯̗̙̰̙i̢͇t̀h ̖̙̻̝͍̰y͓͓͖̞͕͟o͕̖̖̲̗̱͇ṵ̪̪̙̜r̠͘ ̬̱̮̝̻̝̥l̘̠͉͖̥̜̬a̞͞ͅp̸̰̬̪̺͙̱t̮̫͠o̬p͖̳̪͓̣̘ ̻w̗̟̬͈͓͇e̺a̱ŕ͍̺͔̮͔̲i̤̤n̷̲̝͈̺̹̼g̨̫̼͍ ̠n͕ͅo̯̥͔̩̯͢t͇̺̩̯h̦͙i̺͔͚͓͎̰͍n̞͉̳̗̺g͚̠ ͚̮b̫̭͚̮͠u͏͙̺̜̳ͅt͓̮͞ ̨b̙͈o̵̞x̬̦̥̙ͅer͙̣͖̳ͅs͕̤̰̰ ̯͡a̘͖͝n͙̲͙̮̩̻͍͝d̷͉ ̨a̝͡ M̤̹̰͓̺̠e͏̳̮̪̘̞͉͉xi͉͕̺̻c̦͕̤̪̩͙a̷͔͎̫̳̜̰ͅn̴͖̫̠͕̟̩ͅ ͞w̨̠̭̻̩r̢͚̼e҉͉̲s̭̺̫t̗͚̙̻̰͍l̯̺̘͔̟͎̣i̞͙̪̟̻̪̞ǹ̟̘̟͍̣͕͇g̠̟̖ ̯̗̥͚̩̳m̳̪̜͖̯̘as͚͇͖̘̦k͍͙̺̜̮ ̙͚̬̞̟̺w̯͙o̴u̬̘̺̻̬l͚̪̜̪̖d̢̯̭̝̤̮ ͏̱l͔͚̠̙ͅe̗̘̪a͍̫̫̖̙̼͞d̹͍͉̮͓͎ ҉t̨̖o̺͚̕ ̛̞̰͈͔a̰̝̰ͅb͎̤̖͔̮̗s͕̩̤o̪lu̻͔̳͍t̫̩̪͔e̷̝͇ͅl̝͍͍̞͟y̺̱͎͈̹̻̟ ̧͉̥͈̩̠̱̟n̤̰o̼̟̟ ͍͇ṛ͉͔̱̺̣̫͝e͠p̷͕͙̣͇͍e͈̲̮͍̜̩͙͘r҉̥͍̬c͙̰̬̪̮ṳs̥͙̪̬̭̝̠͢s̝i̴̠o̜n̹s̖̞̜̱͠ ̗̱̹̱w͉h͖a̯ts͈͈̱̰o̟͓̟ę̹̲͈̞v̬̞̞̀e̸̝̘͉r̭͇͝.̪
Evan: What the...?! Did Google Docs just glitch out?!
M̙͟ý͔̖̰̟͖ ͇͉͟b̶̨̫̕o͏͏͎̲̮̼̙o̤̯͕͇̼̕͟͠k̝͘̕͝ ̸̪̺̼̟̼͖͎ḭ̢̞͖̞̺̫͜ͅͅs̻̹̩̗͜ͅ ̼t̫͙̜̙̳h̢͔̝̘͉́͝è̮̥͚̮̯̱ ̠̝͙͈̦͓̻͙͠ͅr̴̶̦̘̗̜͞e̼̣̻͢a҉̷̖͙͉̱̟l̪͙̹̺̘̪̕ ҉̢̖̦̠̘͙ţ̯͈̰͡͝ͅr͕ͅù̢͎͖͓͔̜͎̙ͅt҉̨̗͈̪̻͕̯̳ͅẖ̸͇͉͢.̧̼͓̲͞
Evan: WHAT IS GOING ON?!!
The ̨si̢n̕gu͝larit̡y!̷ He i͞s̡ c͡o̴ming̢! ͠W͘é ̵m͞u͟st ͞w͟e͡lcom͡e ͏h͘i̡m҉ wi͘th̷ ơp̷e͏n ҉a͡rḿs!
Ṕ̧at͏r̸̛íc̢k̵͜͢:̀ Ḩ̕A̶IL̵͢ ̨͜͞DR̵̸͠. ͞P̀͢I͞Ź̷͏Z҉A͞!̸̛
J͘aso͢ń:͞ ͢h͝ail̡ ͠d̛r̡ ͢p̵i̛z҉za
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