The Mariner's Revenge (Continued from JSRB)

[nintendonut1]

"Um..." Slowly, Peach held him back. "...I don't think that's... for the good of the patient."

[pieandchips]

"Says you..." replied Probe "And a hell of a lot of other doctors... But that's beside the point!"

[42zombies]

"What in the seas it that thing?!" The sailor asked angrily as he pointed at Groth. "Where is Bonsai Village?! That's on no map I've heard of!"

"Easy, now." John Smith, surprisingly calm for a man who had just had a gun pointed at him, talked the mariner down. "Why don't you start by telling us your name?"

Harvey stared into John Smith's eyes only to stutter meaninglessly. "I... I am Harvey McDogg. I... wait... what happened to my lifeboat? I passed out at sea..."

"... and crashed here," John finished. "Well, not 'here', here. More like 'there' here. Still, it's a kind of 'here'."

[pieandchips]

"Oh, that?" asked Probe "That would be my mother in law!" Out of nowhere, a laugh track cut in. "I wish he would stop doing that" muttered Cleric "It's an Ogre" he replied.

[nintendonut1]

"Oh my! Lost at sea?" Peach gasped typically. "You poor dear!"

[42zombies]

"I wasn't lost." Harvey mumbled. "I had everything I needed in my bag... where's my bag?"

"There wasn't any bag with you." John answered. "It must've fell into the sea before you washed ashore."

"Damn!" The mariner yelled loud enough to wake several sleeping patients. "I have to get a boat, and a map. I need to find that bastard before he gets too far away..."

[pieandchips]

"What bastard?" asked Alan

[42zombies]

"It isn't any matter of yours, nor will it ever be." Harvey lamented. "The man I seek is my business and mine alone."

Then, as if stricken by a wave of grief, the mariner fell onto his knees in despair. "But where on God's Earth am I? If that fiend isn't here, does this mean my quest was all for naught?"

[nintendonut1]

"Oh, my dear!" Peach knelt down beside him, helping him to his feet. "Please, tell us your story. Perhaps if we know more, we could quite possibly help you."

[42zombies]

"I might as well... there's no point to anything else..." Harvey grumbled as he stepped away from his cot. "Where to begin, though? Hmmm..."

Slowly, out of nowhere, rousing accordian music began to play. John Smith looked around, trying to find its source. "Um... d-does anybody else hear that?"

THE MARINER'S REVENGE

I am a mariner
My ship's sole survivor
Here to tell you my tale

In this strangest place
With no familiar face
I guess I have some time to kill

He may not remember me
I was a child of three
And him, a lad of eighteen

But I'll remember you
And I will relate to you
How our histories enweave

At the time you were
A rake and a roustabout
Spending all your money
On the whores and hounds
Oh Ohhhhh

You had a charming air
All cheap and debonair
My widowed mother found so sweet

And so she took you in
Her sheets still warm with him
Now filled with filth and foul disease

As time wore on you proved
A debt-ridden drunken mess
Leaving my mother
A poor consumptive wretch
Oh Ohhhhh

And then you disappeared
Your gambling arrears
The only thing you left behind

And then the magistrate
Reclaimed our small estate
And my poor mother lost her mind

Then one day in spring
My dear sweet mother died
But before she did
I took her hand as she, dying, cried:
Oh Ohhhhh

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave
*sigh*"

It took me fifteen years
To swallow all my tears
Among the urchins in the street

Until a priory
Took pity and hired me
To keep their vestry nice and neat

But never once in the employ
Of these holy men
Did I ever once turn my mind
From the thought of revenge
Oh Ohhhhh

One night I overheard
The Prior exchanging words
With a penitent whaler from the sea

The captain of his ship
Who matched you toe to tip
Was known for wanton cruelty

The following day
I shipped to sea
With a privateer

And in the whistle
Of the wind
I could almost hear...
Oh Ohhhhh

"Find him, bind him
Tie him to a pole and break
His fingers to splinters
Drag him to a hole until he
Wakes up naked
Clawing at the ceiling
Of his grave

"There is one thing I must say to you
As you sail across the sea
Always, your mother will watch over you
As you avenge this wicked deed"

A haunting, sailor-esque musical interlud began to play as Harvey began to waltz about. Slowly, the rest of the patients-- even those that shouldn't have been able to move-- got up and joined the dance.

"This is... odd." John Smith said, making the understatement of this still very young century.

Don't know how I arrived
The crew all was left behind
As I pursued you towards the East

But, O! What providence!
What divine intelligence!
If you were here
As well as me

My heart would swell
With joy
To see your eyes fill with fear

And lean in close
So I would whisper
The last words you'll hear
Ohh Ohhhhh

The haunting medley came to an end and the patients all collapsed where they were. Harvey, confused as to what he himself had just done, looked around.

"Odd... does that happen a lot around here?"

[nintendonut1]

Peach was busy applauding the song and dance delightfully. "Yaaay, how wonderful!"

[42zombies]

"Yes... well... I'm feeling a little tired." Harvey said as he sat back down on his cot. "Odd... once I heard the music, it just compelled me to sing..."

"Nurse... I think my legs are broken from all that dancing--"

"SHUT UP!" Groth demanded. He, too, had taken part in the dance. "This is about the important people!"

[pieandchips]

"Yeah! The important people!" shouted Alan. "God, or Allah, or Yahweh, or Krishna, or Zeus, or nobody, you're annoying!" replied Cleric.

[42zombies]

"Is... is that really a song you should be applauding?" John Smith asked Peach. "It wasn't exactly 'Daydream Believer'. More to the point, nobody seems surprised that an entire clinic full of sick people just burst into a rousing shanty."

[nintendonut1]

"That kind of stuff happens a lot here!" Peach delightfully explaining, moving to help the guy with the broken legs. "And for horribly ill patients, you have to give them applause for that wonderful performance!"