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Post by 42zombies on Jun 20, 2009 18:17:16 GMT -5
Groth did his best to take his patinet's pulse. Unfortunately, being an oni mage, this meant removing their still-beating heart, monitoring it, replacing it, and chastising the victim for screaming so much. The Plague was beginning to die down, but all of these people with smiles frozen on their faces were practically pouring in.
And the hospital was about to get one more patinet.
John Smith walked into the tent, carrying along the body of the unconcious sailor. He stopped in awe of all the sick and wounded before Groth approached him and Booter.
"What in the name of Gruummsh One-Eye are you two doing?" He asked in a voice that he hoped wouldn't make anyone piss themselves.
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Post by nintendonut1 on Jun 21, 2009 12:55:18 GMT -5
"Bringing in this almost-dead guy!" Booster cheerfully answered, tossing the sailor on one of the many beds.
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Post by 42zombies on Jun 21, 2009 15:55:15 GMT -5
"Almost dead?! He's only unconcious!" Groth mumbled. "Be a little more accurate next time. I already wrote 'almost dead' on the chart! Looks like I'll have to fix him..." the oni prepared to pull out his great-sword when John Smith grabbed his arm.
"Whoa! Isn't the purpose of a hospital to not kill the patients?" He yelled. "Then again, I've been gone a few months-- maybe the definition changed."
"Ugh..."
"Hey, don't say 'ugh' here! This is a hospital!" Groth yelled at Booster. "I oughta rip off your belly-fat and sew it back on!"
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Post by nintendonut1 on Jun 21, 2009 18:24:34 GMT -5
"Ooooooooh.... that sounds like fun!" Instantly, Booster climbed into another bed. "Let 'er rip, doctor!!"
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Post by pieandchips on Jun 21, 2009 23:51:53 GMT -5
"OKAY!!!" shouted Alan Probe brandishing his chainsaw. "Just lie back and bite on this bullet!" he said shoving a bullet into Booster's mouth
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Post by nintendonut1 on Jun 22, 2009 0:34:35 GMT -5
"COOL!" Booster chomped down on the bullet, his teeth cracking slightly. "Owwww....!" he moaned, still grinning in anticipation.
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Post by pieandchips on Jun 22, 2009 1:09:45 GMT -5
In one fell swoop he had sliced off all of Booster's belly fat with the chainsaw. Blood splurted everywhere. My GOD it was a horrible sight to behold. Similar to my cousin Catherine's wedding. People drenched in blood. Alan pulled out his stapler, a lighter and some antibacterial ointment and began stapling Booster's belly fat back on.
But then...
Cleric stepped out of nowhere and slapped Alan's hand away. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU FRIGGIN' PSYCHO?!?!"
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Post by 42zombies on Jun 22, 2009 7:49:59 GMT -5
"Hey, I said I was going to do it!" Groth growled. "That's it, get me my pointy rocks! Looks like we'll have to do this again!"
"Where am I...?"
"I told you to shut up!" Groth yelled at Booster in a way that was only a bit more intimidating than his usual voice.
"Excuse me, I'm no Chief of Medicine, but wasn't that the sailor?" John Smith pointed out condescendingly.
Groth looked at the body that Booster and John Smith had brought in and saw that its eyes were slowly opening. "Oh. Well, he can talk-- he's a patient. Speaking of which, we should get that guy checked out-- somebody ripped off his belly fat!"
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Post by nintendonut1 on Jun 22, 2009 11:40:09 GMT -5
"WEEEEEEEEeeeeeee..." Booster slowly trailed off into unconsciousness. Kind of a side effect from, y'know, the blood loss and what not.
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Post by 42zombies on Jun 22, 2009 11:46:33 GMT -5
"I should get Peach... but she never performs surgery! What kind of doctor doesn't perform surgery?" Groth grumbled something as he picked Booster back up and laid him on the bed. "We'll have to take a look at that brain. It's not looking good."
"I said, 'Where am I?'" The mariner's voice was louder now-- it sounded like two pieces of wood scraping against each other. "My head... am I in Hell...?"
"No, not yet," Groth answered pleasantly.
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Post by pieandchips on Jun 22, 2009 11:54:56 GMT -5
"I'll fix this oaf" said Cleric. "You guys... um... go work on him" He pointed to the mariner.
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Post by nintendonut1 on Jun 22, 2009 12:08:37 GMT -5
"What? But of COURSE I perform surgery!" the princess piped up, hurrying over in her nurses' outfit with a bag of tools after hearing of the new patients' arrival. "I just can't do it in the Mario games. Too explicit. Trauma Center's got that genre covered."
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Post by 42zombies on Jun 22, 2009 12:22:43 GMT -5
"Well, you could always take some elements and improve on it." Groth said. "Like what Rock Band did-- now we have two rythem games that I use to summon dark forces."
"This is just a hunch, but you may be using them wrong." John Smith pointed out.
"ANSWER ME, DAMN IT!"
A click came from the mariner's flintlock pistol as he pointed it at John Smith. "WHERE IN HELL AM I?!"
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Post by nintendonut1 on Jun 22, 2009 12:53:38 GMT -5
"Oh, my!" Peach gasped, lowering the man's gun down. "Please calm down! You're in the hospital in Bonsai Village!"
"Blaaaaaggh...." Booster grunted, along with several other gutteral sounds.
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Post by pieandchips on Jun 22, 2009 13:48:12 GMT -5
"You shut up!" shouted Probe, shocking Booster unconscious with a car battery. "How you became a master surgeon is beyond me" muttered Cleric. He turned to Groth. "You use Rock Band to summon the dark forces too?!"
"Now, Peach, let me handle this" said Alan bringing the alligator clips to where the Mariner's heart was. "Time to go night-night" he said calmly.
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