Wish Corruptor

[shiftyPotentate]

I looked for a thread like this but I couldn't find one.

Basically, what you do, the first person (i.e., me), makes a wish, and the next person in line does two things.

One, they "grant" the previous person's wish, but corrupt it somehow. For example, if person A wished for 1000 puppies, then person B could say "Granted, but the puppies all simultaneously pee on the carpet, ruining it forever" or something.

Then two, they make their own wish.

For the sake of fun, don't make a wish that goes to ridiculous lengths to ensure its success. The fun is in seeing how people can corrupt it!

I'll start.

I wish I had an unlimited store credit to GameStop!

[nintendonut1]

Granted, but then Gamestop hits bottom and closes, and now all that credit is totally useless.

I wish I'd just get a job at Cartoon Network already. XD

[tsifan]

Granted, but the day after you got in you were instantly laid off. Mostly because during that day there was an economic crisis, and the boss just thought all the new guys weren't needed.

I wish that I could draw better

[DanteMGalileo]

You can now draw like a pro in many styles, but unfortunately your scanner broke, every scanner your drawings come into contact with explode, and nobody wants to see them.

I wish I had a scanner.

[42zombies]

Granted, but it's posessed by Roth-Gor, the Demon Who Doesn't Like To Scan. He will spend the rest of eternity making sure no scanner you own ever works. He will break everything you own. When you sleep, he will be next to your bed, whispering. Then, when you wake from your nightmares, we will opened one of his thousand mouths and scream the secret you don't let yourself know.

Okay? Okay.

I wish I was more awesome.

[DanteMGalileo]

Granted, but since your body is now overloaded with awesome, it will clog your blood vessels and cause you to die of a heart attack since no medication or doctor can fight the awesomeness. On the plus side, you will look awesomely awesome while dying, and when you are dead.

Okay? Okay then.

I wish I actually looked and sounded my age instead of a 15-year-old with the body of a 10-year-old and the voice of a 20-year-old.

[shiftyPotentate]

Granted, but while your voice now sounds 15, it also becomes incredibly nasally and annoying, and no one ever wants to spend time with you. You grow old and die alone.

I wish for world peace.

[42zombies]

Granted. The world is in pieces.

I wish that this wish couldn't be corrupted.

[nintendonut1]

Granted, but you're banned from the site for breaking the rules! XD

I wish my comic would draw itself. XD

[DanteMGalileo]

Your comic draws itself, but for some reason it now looks like a bunch of scribbles and is not what you wanted at all.

I wish math actually made sense and that trigonometry and geometry didn't exist.

[shiftyPotentate]

Granted, but now that key concepts to architecture and design are nonexistent, all the world's most complex buildings collapse and kill thousands. You are eventually tracked down as the cause and sentenced to death. But since the guillotine no longer has an optimal shape for the blade, it takes hours for the axe to kill you.

I wish I couldn't wish for anything.

[DanteMGalileo]

Granted, but then this thread crashes and then the world explodes because you created a time paradox.

I wish I had a never-ending supply of cheese.

[shiftyPotentate]

Granted but you become constipated and die by means unspeakable.

I wish Stephenie Meyer had never written the Twilight books.

[nintendonut1]

Granted, but then... wow, how COULD you corrupte that? I'm at a loss.

...I guess she'd write something even worse?

Whatever.

I wish I didn't need to get a job.

[shiftyPotentate]

I guess so XD

Granted, but your supply of income without giving anything back to the economy eventually butterfly-effects into a massive global economic collapse.

I wiiiish... I wish I was a fish.