Wish Corruptor

[nintendonut1]

Granted... and then I EAT YOU!! Because I loooooove fish. ^^

I wish for my own assortment of weapons.

[shiftyPotentate]

I don't want to be eaten D:

Granted but they're all made improperly and backfire upon use.

I wish... for wings!

[DanteMGalileo]

Granted, but since you can now fly, you are shot down by an arrow and crash in the middle of a lake with zero HP and the tactician doesn't want to bother resetting having come this far.

I wish that I had the ability to summon money at will.

[shiftyPotentate]

Aww, man, that sucks...

Granted, but all you can summon is useless Byzantine-esque money that was worthless a day after it was made.

I wish I had a normal sleep schedule.

[zerowonder]

Granted, but you are woken every morning by a Chinese gong and sent to sleep with a tranquilizer dart in the ass.

I wish SCP-682 was my personal and obedient pet.

[shiftyPotentate]

Granted but it goes on a rampage without your knowledge and kills everyone you know and hold dear.

I wish soda never went flat.

[zerowonder]

Granted, but the drink will continue to be carbonated inside of you. Thus you fart and burp a lot.

I wish that every 60 minutes everyone breaks into dance.

[42zombies]

Granted. Now everyone has Dancer's Hip, you selfish monster. I hope you're happy; now everybody is mildly uncomfortable.

I wish I was a super-awesome kickass Kamen Rider.

[shiftyPotentate]

Granted but you can't handle the awesome and you implode.

I wish no one ever got sick.

[zerowonder]

Granted, but now the world is over-populated causing pollution and a hefty drain on resources to cater for the needs of humans. Crime rises, economic recession, many extinct wildlife, I hope you're happy.

I wish the DC C-Box supported mics.

[shiftyPotentate]

I am, thank you very much.

Granted, but noobs come on and mic-spam the C-box, causing actual members to leave, allowing the site to be hacked and taken over by those same noobs.

I wish I actually owned an Xbox 360 and had Halo 3, and a Live Gold membership.

[zerowonder]

Granted, but noobs come on and mic-spam Halo, causing you to leave (thus lose XP), allowing your gold membership to be hacked and taken over by those same noobs. The noobs then get you banned from XBox Live, FOREVER!

I wish people wouldn't keep posting "The cake is lie" on Portal, cake or Valve related topics.

[shiftyPotentate]

Granted, but now that the cake is truth, it is hailed as the savior of all mankind as the one undeniable truth. With everyone following the truth cake religion, er, religiously, nothing ever gets done and society collapses into a cannibalistic dystopia. The cake followers split into two sects: those who believe the cake should have filling and those who believe it shouldn't. The world ends with a massive war, in which the Earth itself splits in two from the force of the conflict. All the gravity escapes and we are all flung into space.

I wish my laptop had infinite battery life.

[zerowonder]

Granted, but it becomes so hot it burns through to the center of the Earth causing a volcano to spout out beneath you.

I wish more people would play the wish corrupter game, it's fun.

[42zombies]

Granted, but then it becomes mainstream and we start selling t-shirts and this thread has, like, thirty pages, and it's impossible for you to put in a wish because eberybody's playing all the time.

... also, didn't I already die from awesomeness overload?

I wish I could play the guitar like a god of METAL.