So... which one of us is Bad Cop? - (Invite Only)

[Jilak]

(OOC: Myself and Mugen now. Message one of us and we'll discuss it, etc. etc.)

The woods were a rather lovely place. Almost everyone avoided them at night. Those who were smart avoided it during the day as well, if they could. Because in certain areas, the above canopy was so thick that even small rays of light had to struggle to get through. The natural fauna of the area, most of it imported from other dimensions, usually presented no problem for any weary travelers. Usually.

That wouldn't be the case today, however, as the man they call Jayne found himself forced into a tumble down one of the somewhat hilly areas of this trans-dimensional forest, five fresh abdomen wounds leaking as he went. He grunted as his back hit a tree, stopping his quick descent. Looking up, he noticed that the source of his current dilemma, a rather large blue bear, was continuing in its attack upon his person. He'd come across it while wandering, and since then it seemed determined to take him out. Jealous of his facial hair, probably.

If Vera was still operating at firing capacity, this would have been over in an instant. Blue bear or not, unless it was impervious to bullets, Vera could have handled it. But as it stood, Jayne's favourite gun had a hole burned into its side. Even if he wanted to, and he really did, he couldn't open fire. He'd been doing remotely okay, seemingly managing to outrun it. Until he'd made the foolhardy mistake of turning around to make sure it wasn't following him. To be fair, he could no longer hear it's rather loud blundering behind him. But somehow, it had managed to sneak up on him, taking a furious swipe at his abdomen and sending him tumbling.

He looked up, and sure enough, there it was. Once more lumbering at him.He knew now that he very obviously couldn't outrun this creature, and he wasn't really one for going limp. Which left him with one option. He forced himself back to his feet, standing his ground, firmly gripping Vera in his right hand. The creature took this as a challenge, and to be completely honest, it was. It charged him, roaring as it went. Jayne only growled in response.

Jayne didn't move, didn't flinch, until it got near him. Once it did, however, he went into action. He slammed his open palms into both sides of its head, dazing the creature, before grabbing it by its ears and forcing it face first into the tree ahead of him. It laboriously pushed itself to its feet, and got Vera's hilt shoved into the back of its head for its troubles. It collapsed then, unconscious.

Jayne stumbled forward, getting as far away from it as possible. He couldn't be sure it'd stay down long, and he didn't want to be there when it awoke.

--FLASHBACK--

Jayne Cobb was a brave man. No one argued this fact. Though not a very smart man, he was a brave man. At least, he was when his pride was threatened. That's why he found himself here, in the center of a backwater town on one of the outer planets, preparing to fight one of the town's most renowned fighters, Brick Thomas. He disposed of everyone who made the mistake of standing against him. He hit like a train. No, strike that. Trains wished they could hit like him. Everyone in town feared and respect him. Everyone but Jayne, that is.

"Sure you don't wanna back down, Cobb? Look like you're shakin' in your boots. I'm willin' to forgot about the horrible things you said about my character in that poker game, so long as you agree to stay off the ruttin' planet." The larger man sneered. Brick Thomas was built like a house. Even slouching, he rounded at a solid 6'2".

"Like hell I do. You cheated me out o' my money, you no good son of a bitch." Jayne responded, glaring. They'd started to attract more of a crowd by now. The other man only laughed in response.

"Heh. Guess I'll have ta teach you the hard way." Brick said, simply, before lunging at Jayne.

The smaller, yet no less imposing, man was ready for it when it came. He balled his hands into fists, slamming them into both sides of the man's face. It halted his lunge, sending him tumbling backwards. Jayne followed up by roughly grabbing his shoulders, shoving his knee into his abdomen. When Brick dropped to his knee, Jayne threw a barrage of rights into his face, not stopping until the other man spoke up.

"W-wait, please! T-the money's all yours, I was cheatin', just... please stop!" The taller man slurred through a swollen lip, black eye looking up imploringly at Jayne. He grunted before releasing Brick's collar, dusting a bit of blood from his trouser leg. He turned to face the silent crowd, frowning. After a moment, he simply grunted, before pushing his way through, heading towards the small building he and the larger man had exited, fully intent upon collecting his wages. A girl, seemingly Brick's daughter, crouched over him, sobbing.

--END FLASHBACK--

Jayne stumbled forward, landing on his abdomen in a small clearing. The sting in his abdomen reminded him that he was still bleeding everywhere. Though, it wasn't like he'd forgotten. Hard to forget your guts are spilling everywhere, after all.

Jayne reached into a small fanny pack of sorts tied around his waist. Mal had asked Simon to give the two of them a personal health kit before their mission, because invading Alliance facilities never went exactly according to plan. Unfortunately, Malcolm's wasn't quite so thoroughly held in place, slipping off upon his trip through the portal, presumably landing somewhere in the void. Jayne, however, was far more lucky. He pulled out a small suturing kit. Now, what had the doc told him to do...?

--FLASHBACK--

Jayne had stopped paying attention to Simon ages ago. Thing was, kit couldn't be too useful to him. He wasn't one to get hurt, and even if he did, it was usually something he could just shrug off. He looked off to the side. Mal was talking to Kaylee, something about her staying in the engine room in case they needed to get out of atmo in a hurry.

Jayne was pulled from his musings as Simon snapped his fingers in front of his face, snapping him to attention. The gruff man grunted in response.

"Jayne, this is important. If you suffer any serious injuries, I won't be readily available to offer my assistance. You need to know how to use the items provided." Simon lectured.

"It's not like anything ruttin' interesting's gonna happen anyway. We're doin' this the boring way. Mal and I run in, take out the security with this gizmo our 'client' gave us, and pop back out with the goods. 'sides, how the hell's a gorram sewin' kit supposed to help anybody?" Jayne asked, picking up a smaller kit inside of the pack.

"It's a suturing kit, Jayne. For stitching yourself up." Simon responded, before explaining how to properly use it. Jayne paid attention for most of this bit, before his focus drifted elsewhere again.

--END FLASHBACK--

Jayne couldn't help but chuckle to himself. The irony of the situation was quite obvious. Or at least, it would be, if the public relations man actually knew what the term 'irony' meant. Regardless, he popped open the kit, pushing himself into sitting position, before beginning the rather laborious process of self-stitching. It was quite painful, but the large gentleman merely grunted in response. He was no stranger to pain, he refused to pale in its face here.

After finishing the job, he ripped off a portion of his shirt, wrapping his wounds. He didn't need to irritate his injury any further. Though he didn't doubt is abilities to bounce back from anything, the doc had mentioned something about infections. Though Jayne wasn't really paying attention, he wanted to avoid one if at all possible.

He reached once more into his small fanny pack and pulled out a communicator. Mal had told him to carry it with him, so the two could remain in contact while on the job. He brought it above him, considering smashing it... but he stopped. He couldn't quite put it into words, but... he couldn't bring himself to smash it for some reason. Though he would never admit it, in truth, he did feel somewhat guilty about what had gone on with the ship. In truth, if Mal hailed him, if the crew needed him, he'd be there in a flash. Though, Mal needing the man that had sold out his crew, not to mention his boat, was highly unlikely. But Jayne remembered Zero, and what he had done back in the hotel. He wasn't human, nor did Jayne believe him to be completely sane. Anything could happen as long as Mal was hellbent on trusting him.

[mugenginga]

It had been several hours since Zero had wandered from the glorified junkyard that was Industrial Park. He hadn't even been out of the park before he'd put together the areas the gun wielding lunatic was likely to frequent. Bars came to mind immediately, half dead drunk in a bar alley not far behind. He had been quick to dismiss the possibility that the fools trying to keep him on a leash had him - X was arrogant enough he would have hinted at such.

The woods had come and gone as an option, but Zero's presence in them at the present moment wasn't entirely because of that. The fact was, Zero didn't like being too far removed from technology. There was a reason he'd aimed to destroy technologically advanced dimensions after he left his native one. He needed far more power to maintain in a society, let alone dimension, that had no computer technology. Power he quite frankly did not have at the moment, particularly with the stranglehold the fools trying to control him had on him.

It was for that precise reason he'd kept himself open to the hidden bits of technology scattered around the Island and veered in directions away from them. Drop off the radar for a while, confirm or deny one of his theories about how the fools were tracking him. If they were trying to predict them, he'd see how much of a curveball he could throw them.

So when he caught a blip of a connection out in the middle of grand old nowhere, a connection that wasn't synced up with the unusual network the Island carried, it almost caused the virus to double take. Pulling up his long ponytails for the tenth time in the last hour so he wouldn't snag them on branches, he carefully walked towards where he sensed the electronics.

...thing was, Zero knew how to move quietly through the bush as a human about as well as you could be quiet by setting off a string of firecrackers. It was bad enough one would swear a deaf man could have heard him tromping through the bush. The green of the forest had stained his pants and small tears were all over his outfit. Even his face was a little scratched up, a fact that made the virus far from pleased with the situation he'd been put into.

Point was, there was no way in the nine hells Jayne wasn't gonna hear the man coming from a mile away.

[Jilak]

Jayne looked up from what he was doing. He'd just finished wrapping his suturing and was gruffly putting items back in his med kit when he'd heard a sound. A lot of sounds, actually, as if someone or something was bulldozing through the woods. Jayne jumped the most logical conclusion. The bear had recovered. He couldn't tell exactly where it was coming from, due in part to the fact that it was being so loud it sounded as if it was coming from everywhere. This, of course, meant that running and hiding weren't viable options. Which was just fine, because neither were words in Jayne Cobb's vocabulary. He'd run from that bear once already, but he'd be damned if he was going to run from it again.

He pushed himself to his feet, bringing Vera to bear. He pulled the trigger once, testing something. He was met by an almost inaudible click. Nope. Still as broken as ever. Which meant he'd have to rely on its clubbing power once more. He'd have already gotten her fixed, but without having a map of the island, he was wandering. And not towards any sort of gun repair store, from the looks of it.

He stood his ground in the centre of the small clearing he'd been sitting in, shoving his communicator in his pocket. He'd keep Vera raised as a warning, in such a way that his beloved gun shielded his abdomen wound. If it wasn't the bear, he could use her to bluff his way out of a fight, if he had to. All he could do now was wait...

[mugenginga]

Whatever he was sensing, it was staying put. It still wasn't connected to the Island's network, and his powers being on the fritz wouldn't let him figure out if it was connected to any. About all he could guess was that it wasn't related to the fools trying to control him. They'd be using a more powerful network, right? He kept making his way towards it, his hair wrapped arond one of his hands, the other trying to push branches out of his way. The man hardly looked pretty at the moment, and it was probably a good thing he was so damn white. There was a chance someone would recognize him despite the branches sticking to his hair and clothes because of it.

He finally stumbled out of the trees into the clearing. It definitely was not a bear, even Jayne would figure that much out. Zero gave a flat look at Jayne, recognizing the man immediately, and not caring if Jayne pointed the stupid thing at him. It was made apparent by his next comment.

"I doubt you could shoot anything with that right now. Who in Arceus' name are you trying to kid?"

[Jilak]

"Thought you was the ruttin' bear I had to take out a few minutes ago. Couldn't be too careful, loud as you were being." Jayne responded, frowning at the man before him and strapping Vera back into her place at his back. He'd never been the most fond of Zero, but after the shenanigans with him being kicked off the crew, he didn't think their meeting here was any sort of coincidence. In part because he didn't know what the term meant.

"So, what? Cap'n send you here to take me out? 'cause I won't be goin' down without a fight." Jayne said, taking up an opposing stance. A few things were worth noting here. He still referred to Malcolm as 'captain', for one. Secondly, he still had a hell of a lot of fight in him. Especially considering in the span of the past few days, he'd lost an inordinate amount of blood as a result of the Hands of Blue, and just recently had his abdomen furiously clawed at by a bear of some sort, as would be obvious to Zero now that Jayne had moved his gun. Self-suturing, and slightly rushed from the looks of it, but no less stable.

Also worth noting was that even though Jayne was clearly under the impression he needed to defend himself, he'd put Vera back to his back. Honour amongst thieves, perhaps?

[mugenginga]

Zero raised an eyebrow at Jayne's statement. Aside from the obvious contradiction of having "taken out" a bear and it possibly coming back, bears were no laughing matter. Having stared one down and gotten out in... almost one piece made Zero half to wonder if the man hadn't just taken a spectacularly bad fall. He gave a shrug as Jayne looked like he was trying to intimidate him into backing down.

"The 'Cap'n' is currently indisposed, your crew's morale is in the sewers, and the two... psychics seem to be losing their heads," Zero almost spat the word psychics out, as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. The venom fully extended to his eyes in that brief moment as well, but it was gone by the time he continued, "On top of all that, for all I know the good doctor's dead. Humans may be stubbon," Zero nodded towards Jayne's current condition, "But they are mere biological constructs. Last I saw the man, his heart wasn't beating, in any case."

There wasn't as much of Zero's usual taunting as one might expect, a lot of it seemed to be fact stating. Somehow that made it creepier.

[Jilak]

Jayne Cobb was never one for social skills. As a result, it was rather difficult for him to notice the lack of Zero's usual taunting. Something about the encounter seemed different, but he couldn't quite put two and two together. As a result, he responded in as snide a fashion as he usually would.

"Heh. So, what? Crew send you out here to fetch their best man? Too bad, 'cause I ain't comin'. Or, no, lemme guess. You got the doc killed an' now Zoe's houndin' you, so you're wanderin' around, looking for the quickest way off this ruttin' island. always knew the cap'n was stupid takin' you on. Always tryin' to see the best in people, goin' around tellin' 'em they can be better. Hell, he took me on, should be all I've gotta say there." Jayne chuckled, turning away from Zero. He began to walk away, adamant on staying as far away from the sentient virus, until he heard a sound. Something else was rumingling through the woods towards them, and it wasn't Zero.

"Get the hell down." Jayne said to Zero, waving a hand in his direction before looking up. There it was again. The strange bear he'd not too long ago fought into submission. Gorram thing recovered fast, he had to give it that. And Zero's stealthy approach hadn't done wonders for Jayne's hiding spot, either.

Without another word, he bared his feet, until he could just barely make out the creature's outline. And then he lunged. His arms were around its throat in an instant, dragging himself and the large creature down through the brush and finally rolling to a halt. Jayne was the first of the two to regain his composure, bringing the hilt of his now drawn gun to the creature's throat, winding it. It stumbled back, letting out what sounded like a very pained growl, before Jayne brought a boot to its face. This brought it down, dazed and confused, long enough for Jayne to apply a proper headlock. He didn't release until he was sure it was out, and hopefully for a while this time. He was getting tired of this thing.

"Ruttin' thing." Jayne mused, turning to face what he assumed was still Zero's location.

"Now, what was that about the doc?"

[mugenginga]

Zero had given a dry frown at Jayne's comments. There were those times when humans acted too stupid to live, and this was fast approaching one of them. He had a foot up to take a step towards Jayne, one hand in his pocket and the other holding his hair in the air, when he froze and jerked his head to the side. Half a second before the sound. He narrowed his eyes at his inability to sense just what it was or if it was connected to anyting, but electronic components there most certainly were.

Zero rolled his eyes at Jayne's order, keeping himself perfectly up and standing. He looked at his hand for a moment, seeming to consider something, when Jayne decided it was an awesome idea to try and wrestle a gorram bear. Zero glared at the scene. A robotic bear. Or at least cybernetically enhanced. He rolled his eyes and let Jayne do his stupid and beat the ruttin' thing down. When Jayne turned to where Zero was, Zero ignored him. He walked forward, still holding his hair up, towards the bear. Once he was beside it he crouched down.

He looked at his hair again and sighed, tossing the knotted mess behind him. He was reaching for the bear's throat when he paused for a moment. He let out an exaggerated sigh of pur annoyance and reached up and unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off. He looked down at the brace he was still wearing from before for a moment and jerked it off, tossing it to the side. Jayne probably had no idea why Zero had decided to pull a shirtless scene as he tossed the grey longsleeved shirt to the other side of where he'd carelessly tossed the brace. It was done with more care than the brace had received. He then leaned over and poked at the bear's neck for a moment before holding up a hand.

"As primitive as they are, I'm in need of a knife," Zero stated.

He was giving no explanation, but it certainly didn't seem like he inteded on... apparently slitting the bear's throat just to do so. Something was certainly more calculated about it than random bloodshed.

[Jilak]

Jayne had a lot to say to Zero. Something to the tune of him not being more interested in Jayne's feats of physical prowess. Or maybe something about the brusque fashion in which the virus brushed off the gruff mercenary. But his head was spinning, and the words wouldn't come. So, he simply reached into one of the pouches on his belt, pulling out a somewhat sizable knife and handing it to the virus. If he didn't immediately take it, Jayne would sit it next to him before walking to the nearest tree trunk and sitting in front of it, using it to rest his back. Fighting a bear, twice, could really take the wind out of a guy. It was another moment before he would speak again.

"So, what the hell is it? Ain't like any bear I ever seen, that's for sure." Jayne asked, in a somewhat muted tone.

[mugenginga]

Zero took the knife, holding it in front of his face with a grimace. If he'd been able to trust his powers, he'd have just fried the stupid thing. But not only were they less than reliable in the best of circumstances, but no need to throw up a more obvious flag than necessary to those fools. He ignored Jayne's question and leaned forward, pressing down on the bear's throat for a while before nodding to himself.

He spun the knife around and reached forward, leaning over the large animal, and drove the knife directly into the throat. He jerked his hand back and frowned at the bit of blood on his hand, wiping it on the fur before reaching down again and finishing the slit. A bit of blood sprayed out and Zero's expression as it covered his hand was not that of a pleased man, but he hit a noticable area of resistance and put in some extra force. A quick spark flew from the bear and from the blood a few wires could be seen. He pulled the knife out and carefully spread the large cut at the throat with both hands, with his entire lower arm bloody at this point.

"If I'm understanding this right..." Zero muttered. His hand disappeared inside the wide hole (the blood had slowed to a near stop by this point) and seemed to wrap his hands around something.

With a grunt he yanked, pulling a huge mess of wires and a large very mechanical looking box. Another jerk disconnected the box from the wires and he pulled back a bit, resting his hands on the side of the very still bear. Actually he had kind of a funny position, as if he didn't want to risk getting the blood on his (rather damaged) white pants. He was looking at the box rather closely, tapping various points as if trying to figure it out. He'd seemed to almost have forgotten Jayne's presence.

[Jilak]

If Zero was human enough to feel temperature changes, he would notice the box heating up just a bit. More noticeable for one such as himself would likely be its inner circuitry springing to life. The device began to whir, before a small lens opened up on its upper half. It emitted a hologram of what appeared to be the bear from before, before a voice bellowed out. An all-too-familiar voice, in fact.

"HELOOOOOO WEARY TRAVELER! Agent X here from X and Y Incorporated! Well, not really here, because this is all pre-recorded. But you get the idea, I'm sure. If you're listening to this message, it means you're either incredibly dumb or a threat. Or maybe both! Looking at you, Susan! And for the last time, no, you can't have the blueprints! Seriously, who is this guy kidding? Aaaanyway, it's most likely that you're a threat. Which is a shame, really. Because, you know, it means your good buddy X can't let you live. Wish I could but I can't. Well, not really. Actually this is incredibly fun for me. So fun, as I'm recording this, I'm wearing a colourful hat and wielding party poppers. Do you know how many resources I had to put into buying poppers that worked in the vacuum of space? Not that that's where I am. Or is it? I dunno. It's pretty disco-y here actually. Whatever. Point is, can't let you go, so it looks like this box here will be exploding in 3... 2... 1... BOOM! Haha, got you going there, didn't I? Yeah, I did. Unfortunately, this is still the prototype conspicuous-electronic-bear, or CEB, for short. Once it's complete, though, this box will have all sorts of functions. It might even make you a nice lemonade if you ask nicely enough. Along with spinning lasers of DOOM and DESTRUCTION. Everyone loves a good desctruction now and then, right? I sure do! Point is, if you're hearing this, you've just fought a bear. An electronically enhanced bear, no less! It's really a feat, let me tell you. Too bad its claws are dipped with the finest poison man can synthesise. I should know. Did it myself. So, whoopsie, looks like Mr. Bad Bad Wrestler Man only has a few days to a few weeks to live, depending on your bodily makeup. Shame, really. Wrestling a bear just to die. I really feel for you. Well, I would, if this wasn't so gorram fun. Let's see here... dumb enough to fight a bear... dying painfully in a very poetic fashion... ooh! You're Jayne Cobb, aren't you? I bet you are! Or that saucy mechanic. Either way, looks like I'm running out of screentime on Mr. Holography. So this will have to be X, signing out."

As the agent's voice faded, the device once more dimmed.

[mugenginga]

Zero just gave the hologram a flat look as it talked... and talked... and talked some more. Zero had heard some pretty wordy self-righteous monologues in his time, and X's love of his own voice rather well beat them all. He attempted to wipe the blood off his hands on the bear's fur again. He got a lot of it, but his lower arms were covered in smeared and drying blood. Zero gave a ticked off grimace at them before pushing himself up, dropping the device onto the forest floor, and crushing it under his heel. The rest of the electronics seemed to just be motorisims, that had been the thing's brain and the only issue of concern.

He then looked over to Jayne, "That bear wasn't the only thing electronic around here. Whatever you've got, it's attached to some kind of network. I want it destroyed."

He wasn't even going into the subject of the poison and Jayne's approaching death. It honestly didn't seem like he cared.

[Jilak]

Jayne had honestly begun to doze off. The voice was just so droning and it kept talking and talking... and talking some more... so, falling asleep was completely justified, honestly. He'd just entered a rather lovely dream where he suplexed a shark after suplexing a train, before Zero smashed the device under his foot, startling the mercenary awake. He gave no visible indication of this shock, other than his eyes shooting open. He'd been awake for the bit about being posioned, but he hadn't cared enough to make a fuss. Honestly, he was Jayne Cobb. He could walk this poison off, and if not, the doc had probably supplied him with enough stuff to keep him going until he could get better care.

But then Zero was addressing him. Telling him to destroy his communicator. Like hell he was going to let some namby pamby virus boss him around like he was the ruttin' queen.

"No. To be honest, I couldn't care less 'bout whatever problems you're having. You heard the man. I've only got a few days or weeks to live. Gonna go find me a nice bar and spend my time drunk, like any smart man would do. You want it destroyed so bad, you can just walk over here and take it." Jayne responded, simply.

[mugenginga]

Zero smiled. One of those kinds. One almost has to wonder if the virus had a trademark on those damn things, "And you'd try to stop me, right? Try to kill me?"

Zero lifted his palms into the air. Honestly it would have looked a lot more intimidating had his hair not looked half bird's nest, his arms weren't mostly covered in dried bear's blood, and he'd been wearing a shirt. Actually, the blood helped rather than hurt it and one could surmise that hair combined with his expression made him seem a little crazier than usual, but really, he just looked ridiculous.

"Those 'problems' of mine you've mentioned pretty much come down to you can't kill me. Oh, you could try. Cause my powers to come back to keep me alive and I could wipe you off the face of all existance. And the communicator would be gone either way, so I really don't care what you decide to do. However, if you die here, there won't be any 'getting drunk'. So how do you want to play this?"

He was still smiling, and it managed to get more arrogant as he trailed off. At least Jayne was the one who seemed most aware of Zero's... mental stability issues.

[Jilak]

Jayne frowned at the other virus as he made his threat. He made very logical points, but Jayne Cobb, though not the most clever of men, could read hidden agendas with some degree of accuracy. He smiled in response to Zero's more insane variation.

"Heh. See, thing is, way I see it, you can do exactly what you just said. Stop me before I get drinkin'. And way I see it, you're just morbid and creepifyin' enough to do it with a smile on your face. But see, here's the problem. Shouldn't matter if I'm carryin' around a communicator or if I'm running around bareback. Because the way I see it, we're about to part ways, me goin' to the nearest bar, you goin' off to scare a group of kids or somethin'. Which makes me think that you need me for some reason. Hell, knowin' you, you'd soon as 'delete' me as you would ask for my help. So, yeah, if I try to kill you, I'm gorram sure you'd do your crazy glowy thing." Jayne trailed off for a moment, arms behind his back.

"But what's to stop me from just walkin' away? I don't try to kill you, your morbidy powers don't get activated, and you can just go step into the black s'much as I care." Jayne once more turned to walk away, before stopping.

"Unless, o' course, you can give me a damn good reason I should go about destroyin' this."